


Sweet Home Alexander

by dani_dabbles



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Background Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, Divorce, F/M, Fashion Designer Magnus Bane, Good Parent Luke Garroway, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Magnus Bane & Clary Fray Friendship, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Malec AU, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, Not Beta Read, Sweet Home Alabama AU, estranged husbands, malec break up, married Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-10-11 14:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20547761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dani_dabbles/pseuds/dani_dabbles
Summary: Magnus has everything he ever wanted in New York City: freedom, fame, fashion, and now a fiance. But before he can tie the knot he needs to cut lose the estranged husband he left behind in Alabama. What's supposed to be a quick trip to his hometown, quickly turns into a trip down memory lane where old feelings still linger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first fanfic EVER. I don't really know what to expect from it. I've really enjoyed trying to write it though. I'm nervous to post the first chapter but if I stare at it any longer I'm going to burn a whole in the computer screen. I'm always up for constructive criticism and this is completely unbeta'd so if you see an error please let me know. 
> 
> Side note: for this fic to work we have to ignore the fact that gay marriage was not legal in Alabama until 2015. So for the purpose of this AU we are pretending the Marriage Equality Act was passed sooner in 2005.
> 
> (Note that I don't own any of the characters used in this story.)

**[ 2006 ]**

“Alexander?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to marry you one day.”

“Good, because one day I’m going to marry you too Magnus.”

* * *

**[ 2019 ]**

“Dot, I adore you with every cell in my body. You are compassionate, kind, and beautiful. We have so much fun together. And over the past year we’ve developed such a solid partnership. I can already see a long and happy life with you. So...Dorthea Rollins, will you marry me?”

“Yes...yes, I will marry you!” Dot breathes out, stunned.

Magnus quickly stands up from his position down on one knee and wraps his now fiance into an embrace. The jewelry store attendants applaud in the background and fellow shoppers snap photos. Never one to shy from dramatics, Magnus picks her up, twirling around and kissing her deeply. Placing Dot down on solid ground, with his hand placed on her lower back, Magnus guides Dot to the nearest display case. Diamonds wink at them under the bright display lighting. Leaning forward and brushing his lips against her ear, Magnus whispers “Choose whatever ring you can’t live without.”

Dot turns into Magnus, her deep brown eyes meeting his as she whispers back, “You are what I can’t live without Magnus Garroway.”

* * *

Magnus steps out of the elevator into the bright and cavernous room. He surveys the space around him, letting his eyes roam the third floor of the Brooklyn warehouse that houses his design studio. Sewing machines sit quiet. Mannequins stand in various stages of dress. And Saturday morning light shines through the large windows, bouncing off sequins and glitter creating a prism effect around the room. The scene in front of him had once been an unattainable dream. The fact it is now a thriving, profitable business still catches Magnus off guard. The risk of opening the two-story boutique, RUNEZ, downstairs still makes his stomach clench with remembered nerves. But with his business partner and best friend Clary at his side, they’d turned a wistful dream into a brick and mortar reality. And now, two years later, every new line debut, every custom commission they receive, and every weekly fabric order he signs off on brings Magnus unbridled happiness. And now with Dot’s acceptance of his marriage proposal, Magnus feels a deep sense of contentment settle in his bones. Finally finding the peace and happiness he had been seeking for for so long.

This last thought has Magnus smiling to himself just as the elevator behind him pings, startling him out of his daydream. He turns to watch a struggling mass of shopping bags, pale limbs and wild red hair emerge from the opening doors. He watches in amusement, waiting for her to notice him as she drops the bags and brushes her devious locks from her face. She begins sweeping them up into a knot on top of her head, but jolts suddenly, fingers still tangled in her hair, her eyes landing on Magnus, "What are you doing here?!”

“Good morning, Biscuit,” Magnus greets as he approaches and begins gathering bags from the floor. He met Clary working at a retail clothing store a few weeks after moving to the city. They quickly bonded over a mutual love of fashion, The Bachelor and overly-sweetened coffee. Without Clary, Magnus would still be scouting locations and scribbling potential business names on scraps of paper. Her unwavering confidence in his vision had given him the courage to finally stop dreaming and start doing.

“Good Morning. Now, what are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be in the studio today.” Clary shoots back as she tucks the last few strands of her hair into place. “You should be home, celebrating your engagement!” But as soon as the sentence leaves her mouth, Clary drops her arms, eyes locking on Magnus as a look of horror overtakes her face. “Wait. Oh shit! Magnus, did she- did Dot say no?!”

Magnus turns, walking toward his desk and favored drafting table in the front of the room. He sets the bags down and takes a seat just as Clary approaches, hesitation in her eyes. Magnus forces his face into a grave look. Sighing deeply he looks up to his friend, “Dorthea did in fact…” he pauses and allows a smile to break across his face before continuing, “accept my proposal.”

A banshee shriek reverberates around the large room making him wince. “Oh my god! Tell me everything!” Clary frantically makes space for herself on the corner of his desk, disrupting stacks of sketches as she climbs up, adjusting her dress to sit down and finally settling her gaze on him expectantly.

“Your idea to feign picking up a piece of jewelry for our next photo shoot was the perfect set up. She didn’t suspect a thing.” he explains with a mischievous grin.

“Never doubt my deceptive ingenuous,'' Clary retorts back, smug. “So if she said yes, then why are you not with her?” Clary asks. “Shouldn’t you be in bed having amazing post-engagement sex?!”

“Who says we didn’t?!” Magnus questions back, feigning insult. With a shake of his head, he continues on. “But that’s beside the point, I need to finalize sketches for the spring line before the deadline Friday. I also knew you’d be here and I need to beg a favor. Can you watch over everything this week? I’m flying out Monday for a quick trip.” At her confused look, he rushes to explain, “I’ll only be gone a few days but I promise to make it up to you when I return by taking you to that new restaurant we’ve been meaning to try in Soho.” He gives her a pleading look.

“Are you whisking Dot away on an engagement trip? Because that's an amazing idea! Where are you goi-“

“Not exactly.” Magnus cuts her off with a nervous half smile. “Dorothea will not be accompanying me on this particular trip.”

“Okay…” she draws out. “Are you going to elaborate on that?” she asks warily.

Sighing, Magnus looks down at the sketches littering his old, beloved drafting table, one of the few possessions left from his previous life. Breathing deep, he composes himself by sitting up straighter and looking resigned at his friend, “I’m going home.”

“To Alabama? Why?!” Clary says, wrinkling her nose at the idea. She was the only soul in the city who knew the details of Magnus’ past...except for one minor detail Magnus had purposely left out from his tales.

“Do you remember Alec?”

“Yeah, he was your highschool sweetheart, right? You guys broke up before you moved to New York. Because he refused to come with you,” she replies. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, he’s more of an ex-husband than an ex-boyfriend…no, actually he is more of a husband than ex-husband, if you want to be legally correct here.” Magnus laughs nervously, not quite meeting Clary’s eyes.

A beat of silence passes, then another, as Clary gapes at her friend. Words finally find her and she stutters out, “This- this Alec guy is- he’s your husband?”

“Yeah.” Magnus sighs out, his posture drooping with the omission.

“WHAT THE HELL MAGNUS?!” Clary bursts out, leaping off his desk, scattering papers and whirling around finally settling her sharp gaze back on him. “Why would you propose to Dot if you are already married! And why have you never told me this minor detail? I’m your best friend, we tell each other everything!” she exclaims before settling her features into a pout.

“Look, my history with Alec is like the frosted tips I had in middle school: best forgotten with all evidence destroyed,” Magnus jokes trying to lighten the mood. “And it’s not like I wanted to stay married to him. I’ve been trying to get him to sign divorce papers for years. But they are always returned to my lawyer’s office unsigned. When I decided to propose to Dot several weeks ago, Ragnor sent the papers again, this time with a lengthy letter I’d written explaining my intention to re-wed. But the document was returned stating it was undeliverable, that the person no longer lived at that address. Which is...odd. I assume there has been a mistake of some sort. So, now I’m going down there to demand he sign them. I will hold his hand down and force his signature if I have to” he states in determination.

The confidence quickly bleeds out of his brown eyes changing to apprehension and fear, “But I can’t admit this to Dot. She’s a compassionate woman but no one wants to hear that their fiancé is already married. Even if she was understanding, she would ask more questions and press for more details about my life there. And I can’t stand the idea of her learning about poor Magnus Bane of southern Alabama,” he says, thinly veiled disgust coloring his tone. “I don’t want Magnus Bane’s past to infest the future for Magnus Garroway in New York. I just need to snip this one thread tying me to that name and to that place. Once the documents are signed, I’m free and the rest of my life can really begin. No more looking back.”

“How did you plan to explain your absence to Dot exactly?” Clary asks, hands on her hips.

“I told her I wanted to tell my family about our engagement in person. Which she agreed was a wonderful idea. What she doesn’t realize is that I purposely timed the trip when she’d be too busy organizing last minute details of her father's campaign dinner next weekend,” Magnus confesses. “It also gets me out of the state when Dot tells her father about the engagement,” Magnus give a shutter. “That man hates me.”

Dropping her hands back down to her sides, Clary approaches Magnus once again, resettling herself on the corner of his table. She reaches out and takes Magnus’ hand in hers, settling it in her lap. “No one can hate you. Don’t worry he’ll come around. I’m sure once election season is over, he’ll soften up a bit,” Clary says. “Now about this trip. As your best friend, who you promise to never withhold information from ever again” she gives him a pointed look, “it’s my obligation to come with you.”

“What? No.” Magnus says, shaking his head. “I can’t ask that of you. And what about everything here?” Magnus questions, waving with his free hand to the quiet studio around them.

“You and I both know that we can work remotely for a few days. And I didn’t hire Lily for her oh-so-sweet personality. That woman is scary but she’s the best manager of operations in Brooklyn, she can handle everything for a bit. Just- just let me do this, okay? Let me be there for you.” Clary says her voice going soft, giving his hand a squeeze in a reassuring gesture.

Magnus wasn’t sure what higher being brought this fiercely loyal woman into his life, but he continues to thank every deity above for Clary Fray. “Oh, Biscuit. I love you, you know that right?” Magnus says looking up at her, hoping she can read the sincerity in his face. Clary squeezes his hand again. “And you’re right, I think I might need some moral support for this.” Magnus says. He lets out a breath glancing down again. When he looks back up to Clary, he grins widely at he. He teases, “Pack that Louis Vitton luggage of yours, Biscuit. You are going on an adventure to the delightful town of Pigeon Creek, Alabama.”

* * *

By the age of 19, Magnus Bane was stifled by his Alabama hometown. He was too loud and too proud for the quiet, backwoods community brimming with bad memories. He fled to New York City to find a place in the world of fashion and design. He worked in clothing stores around the city to put himself through school. He lived off of one dollar slices of pizza and shared a two bedroom apartment with 6 other students. He went to class, worked and drank coffee for an endless 4 years. But the resulting insomnia and caffeine addiction had paid off. He was now Magnus Garroway. And Magnus Garroway was quickly becoming the go-to designer of the New York fashion scene.

Known for his historically influenced designs, his clever use of accessories and love of all things shiny; everyone wanted to be seen in a Magnus Garroway piece. Influencers flocked to his store, eager to pose in his attire and attach their name to his growing fame. His confident aura, kind nature and Southern charm further fueled his rising star. Celebrities were beginning to take note and commissions for one-of-a-kind red carpet looks were growing. Needless to say, Magnus Garroway was everything that Magnus Bane had worked so hard to be.

Now it was as if Magnus Bane had never existed in New York City at all. Magnus packed him away with all of his previous insecurities, his unfortunate past and the shabby thrift store clothing he’d been forced to wear growing up. He had put 10 years and over 1,000 miles between him and his previous life. All of it forgotten, useless and unwanted.

But as his rental car carries him further south, Magnus feels a tightness in his throat, a weight on his heart and the phantom itch of cheap fabric on his skin. Because Magnus Bane may not exist in New York City but he does in Alabama. And Magnus is already feeling the uneasiness of memories from his forcefully forgotten past working its way into his body.

“You okay?” Clary questions from the passenger seat, “Your grip looks a little tight on that poor steering wheel.”

Pulled from his thoughts and conscientiously lightening his white-knucked grip on the car, Magnus smiles over at his friend letting confidence take over his features, “Of course, it's just been awhile since I’ve been behind the wheel of a car. I’ve been spoiled by taxis and Uber for too many years in the city.”

“Well at least you have a license,” Clary scoffs turning back to her previous activity of staring out the window, oblivious to the inner identity crisis her friend is experiencing in the driver's seat. After driving in silence a little while longer, she picks the conversation back up, “So if this Alec guy isn’t at the address you have for him, how are you going to find him?”

A hardness flicks across Magnus’ face, hands going back to their tight hold on the steering wheel, “If Alec isn’t at home, there is only one other place he’d be: Lightwood Sports and Outdoor Adventures. His family owns one of the largest sporting and outdoor stores in the tri county area. They also offer various outdoor tourist experiences such as fishing charters, hunting guides, hiking excursions, rock climbing lessons...and uh, archery lessons as well. And since Alec is like his father and puts the family business first, I have no doubt that is where he’ll be. He was more married to that store than he ever was to me.” Magnus throws out this last part hoping his words sound nonchalant to Clary’s ears and none of the bitterness of his heart escapes out with them.

“Then we’ll have to make sure you look extra fabulous before you confront him. He needs to see exactly what he walked out on.” Clary states haughtily. “Does Luke know to expect us? You did arrange for us to stay with him didn’t, right?”

“Yes. He’s the only person in the whole town who knows about my return. I’d like to keep my exposure to that place to a minimum.” Seeing Luke again after all of these years was the only part of this trip Magnus looks forward to. In truth, for a long time there were only two bright spots in Magnus’ life: his relationship with Alec and Luke. And since his separation from Alec resulted in a darkness of ugly memories, Luke remained as his only happy light in Pigeon Creek. Luke had practically raised him. He held Magnus at his mother’s funeral; he sheltered Magnus anytime his alcoholic step-dad went on a belligerent tirade; and he was the only person applauding Magnus at his high school graduation. But most importantly, when Magnus escaped to New York and wanted to reinvent himself, Luke lent him his last name, his history and his family because according to Luke, Magnus was his son in “every way that counted” and it would be “an unspeakable honor” to have the name Garroway follow Magnus in his success. Just thinking back on that particular late night phone conversation with Luke, would bring immediate tears of unending gratefulness to Magnus’ eyes.

But at the moment, Magnus forced his brain to focus on the immediate issue of obtaining his divorce. He wanted to get the hell out of this place, return home and continue to make Luke proud. “We’re about an hour away from Pigeon Creek. The plan is to go straight to the Garroway plantation. Luke said he’d have dinner waiting for us, which is great because I’m starving! In the morning I’ll track down Alec and get those papers signed - to hell or high water. With that taken care of, we’ll be on the 8am flight to New York bright and early Wednesday. Odios Alabama. And good riddance.”

Clary nods, “Good, because it has been less than 24 hours and I already miss the city.” She gestures to the scenery blurring past them on the highway, “Is it always so...green here? We’ve been driving for over an hour and all I’ve seen are trees, a few gas stations and guess what... more trees.”

Magnus bursts out in laughter, “Oh, Biscuit, you are the truest of true city girls. But never fear, I’ll have you back in New York before you become accustomed to the smell of manure and start to enjoy country music.”

“You better. Because I’m afraid that if I stay down here too long, I’ll find myself wearing cowgirl boots and a hideous amount of denim and lace. And all my credibility as a fashion designer will wither and die.” she huffs, crossing her arms and dramatically scowling. Magnus laughs again, increasing the car’s speed, now more eager to get to Pigeon Creek. The sooner they arrive, the sooner they can leave.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure I’m 100% happy with this chapter. There’s a lot of backstory here, trying to set up for what’s to come. I just hope it’s better than the first chapter. Just know that Alec will finally make his appearance in Chapter 3, so yay! 
> 
> And how about a hashtag? #SweetHomefic
> 
> Find me on twitter: @Dani_Dabbles and on tumblr: @honest-malec

Consciousness finds Magnus slowly, his brain struggling to comprehend what exactly pulled him from sleep. Groaning and rolling over to lay on his back, Magnus drags his hands down his face and then out into a stretch. He drops his arms back down and tucks them under his head. His eyes blink open and he turns to face the window to his right. Birds. That’s what woke him. He closes his eyes and takes a few minutes to enjoy the multitude of melodies coming from outside, a stark contrast to the boisterous traffic he has grown accustomed to. Finally his eyes open again to stare at the small chandelier above his bed. He had slept in “his room.” The one he used as a kid. 

After his mother’s death, he’d slept at Luke’s to escape his stepfather’s drunken accusations and rage. The room with its navy blue walls, thick cream colored carpet and cozy fireplace radiated safety and security for Magnus. He’d been a scared child seeking out his recently deceased mother’s best friend. That first night marked the first of many sleepovers in the following years. And each time Magnus sought refuge in the stately bedroom, he’d find a gift. It started with a toothbrush in the bathroom, the next time his favorite soap and shampoo in the shower. Later, there were pajamas in the dresser. And a few nights before starting his first year of high school - new clothes in the closet. Each item telling Magnus, without words, that he was welcome and wanted. 

Still in bed, Magnus thinks back to yesterday’s reunion with Luke. They had enjoyed an entire evening of conversation and laughter. Luke tasked himself with regaling Clary with as many stories as he could. He talked about his friendship with Magnus’ mom, how he inherited the plantation and his adventures as county sheriff. The latter stories featured a lot of Magnus and his friends. Magnus had forgotten about some of the shenanigans they had gotten into back in the day. Like the time he, Izzy, and Maia rounded up a bunch of ducks from the lake and put them in Jace’s bedroom. Animal control had to come and retrieve them, but the scream Jace emitted was heard a half mile away - totally worth the lecture. Then there was the time he, Simon, Jace and Alec climbed to the top of the water tower, bags of spray paint in hand and changed the town’s name to “Pigeon Shit.” Honestly, Luke probably deserved sainthood for all the trouble they caused him. Why he never threw them in a cell, just to give himself one day’s peace, was beyond Magnus. They talked and exchanged stories until well past midnight and well past 3 bottles of wine. When they finally retired to bed, Magnus had fallen asleep, wine sitting heavy in his stomach but his heart light with fond memories. 

It had been nice to reminisce. To remind himself that there were good memories here. Great memories actually. Even the stories of him and Alec had him grinning and laughing. But so much had happened to them before his departure to New York. And today, after 10 years, he was going to see him again. Laying there staring up, he let that realization wash over him. Ten years. He remembers a time when being apart from each other for more than a few hours had been their own version of hell. But now, years had passed. _ Ten fucking years _ , Magnus thinks. Along with hundreds of hurtful words, hours of angry yelling and even one thrown hair dryer. The lightness gained from the night before dissipates and a heaviness settles back on his heart. _ I’m going to see Alec today, _ the thought repeats on a mental loop. _ Alexander _.

The name has Magnus’ heart speeding up. Some might look for deeper meaning into this reaction but Magnus has long since accepted that his heart has a sort of a Pavlov reaction to the name Alexander. Magnus guesses every adult with a dating history carries scars from previous relationships. Clary refuses to visit a whole corner of Williamsburg lest she catch a glimpse of the dinner she frequented with a previous boyfriend. Everyone at RUNEZ noticed that Lily never took off the necklace her girlfriend gave her, even though they’ve been apart for over a year now. And it has never escaped Magnus’ notice that Dot’s face becomes tense when the New York Yankees are mentioned in conversation. And Magnus experiences arrhythmia at the mention of a stupid name. A name he had to train himself not to use. Only allowing himself to refer to Alec by his commonly used nickname. He was just Alec to Magnus now. Because _ Alexander _ has been Magnus Bane’s love and he had been left out of Magnus Garroway’s life.

Anxiety begins to claw its way up from Magnus’ stomach, up through his throat, making breathing difficult. Magnus struggles and kicks out the the covers feeling constricted. He manages to roll out of the king sized bed and fumble into the attached bath. He immediately goes to the shower and turns on the water. Quickly disrobing, he moves to stand under the hot water, taking deep breaths in an attempt to stave off the panic tightening around him like a vice. He allows the heat to smooth him, concentrating on the way the water hits his skin and trails down his body dragging the tension with it. Once his breathing even outs, Magnus begins to wash, letting the sandalwood scent of his soap settle him further. 

Magnus stays under the stream of water until it starts to turn cold and he finally feels steady. He dries off, wraps a towel around his waist and sits at the nearby vanity. Magnus methodically sets out his makeup. He is tempted to go dramatic today but he hesitates. As a teenager, Magnus had been wary of wearing a lot of makeup in his close minded town, never going as glamorous as he’d longed to. And old habits die hard. So he settles for a little bit of eyeliner, tinted lip balm and several streaks of cobalt blue in his hair. A simple look but armor to strengthen him nonetheless.

Returning to the bedroom, he reaches for the outfit hanging on the closet door. With Clary’s help, he had decided on the perfect ensemble the previous evening. Once dressed, he looks himself over in the antique full length mirror in the corner. Satisfied with the overall effect, Magnus feels his confidence returning, and he stands a bit taller. The black and cream printed shirt stretches snug across his chest; it’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows drawing the eye to his biceps And a black silk black vest it layered on top. His black trousers hug tight accenting his butt. The look is finished off with ankle boots, multiple necklaces around his neck, his favored ear cuff and rings. Magnus knee he looked good. He was dressed to kill. He just has to get those signatures before he puts Alec into an early grave. Smirking to himself, he turns and leaves the room and going downstairs ready to face the day.

* * *

The back staircase leads Magnus down into the plantation’s enormous kitchen. While the estate dates back to the 1800s, the kitchen has been expanded and updated into a chef’s dream space. Warm hardwood floors, white cabinetry, grey quartz countertop and the restaurant grade stainless steel appliances qualify the space for the cover of a home design magazine. It's here he finds Luke drinking coffee, sitting in the windowed breakfast nook. The designer in Magnus notices the beautiful table of wood and iron. His eyes make quick appraisal of the piece. Appreciating the natural edges, the beautiful wood grain under the high gloss finish which contrasts perfectly with the modern black frame underneath. Before he can give any more of his attention to it, his eyes are quickly diverted to the woman sitting across from Luke. She’s looking down at the tablet in front of her, scrolling idly, her mess of black curls concealing her face. But Magnus doesn’t need to see her face to know it’s one he has missed just as much as Luke’s. He walks up to the table and her head whips up at the sound of his approach. His mouth ticks up in the corner, “Hey Maia.”

“Magnus!” she shouts, jumping up, and launching herself at him, pulling him into a hug he gladly returns. Maia finally pulls back, grinning up at him, then takes a step back and punches him in the arm. Hard. “Hey! What was that for?!” Magnus exclaims, noting Luke’s snorting laugh. 

“That is for not coming home to see me for the last 10 years! I mean, it’s one thing to not come see Luke, he’s old and boring as hell. But me?! I am awesome and totally worth a trip home! Expect at least nine more punches - one for every year I’ve gone without seeing your pretty face.” Maia explains. Magnus turns back to Luke giving him a look that says _ Is she serious? _. Luke only says, “I’d try to maintain at least a four foot perimeter for the remainder of your trip. Don’t want to return to New York with bruises. Your fiance might ask questions.” Maia just smiles devilishly back at Magnus and he takes two steps back. Luke laughs and shakes his head, “It’s like you two are 10 years old again.”

Maia is about to speak up when they hear a thump and see Clary stumble in from the stairway. Still dressed in silk pajama pants, a tank top and her hair a nest on top of her head, Clary blushes, “Good morning.” She notices Maia standing near Magnus. “Oh. Hi. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced?” She approaches with her hand out, Maia shakes her hand hesitantly. Clary flashes a smile at her, “I”m Clary, Magnus’ best friend.” Magnus notices Maia’s eyes flash slightly at Clary’s use of the Best Friend title. That had once been her place in his life after all. But she covers it quickly and smiles pleasantly, “I’m Maia, Luke’s niece. I thought for a moment you might be the infamous fiance, Luke has been telling me about this morning.”

Clary scoffs but there is humor in her eyes as she says, “I love him but it would be like dating my brother. And I don’t know about Alabama, but we don’t do that in New York.”

Maia bursts out laughing. She points at Clary but looks to Magnus and says, “I like her.” Magnus beams at them both. 

Luke pipes up from the table, “Can I interest you two in some coffee and Maia’s excellent homemade cinnamon rolls?”

“It's always a yes to coffee,” Clary says. Luke nods and goes to the cabinet to pull out additional mugs, creamers and sugar as Magnus and Clary take a seat at the table. 

Maia joins them and moves a plate of the aforementioned cinnamon rolls within their reach. She is passing them plates when she asks, “So Magnus, your getting married!? Tell me about the woman that’s captured your heart. Wait let me guess, she has dark hair, gorgeous eyes and a bright smile. She’s probably successful. You always said you preferred an intelligent mind behind the pretty face and that’s what made you fall in love wi-” she stops, catching herself. 

“Alec?” Magnus finishes for her. “Yes, well, that’s all very true. And Dot is lovely. You’d really like her. As for Alec, that’s the main reason I’m here. Can’t walk down the aisle an already married man, now can I?” he chuckles. Magnus looks to Maia, Luke and Clary thinking they’ll be laughing with him, but all he sees are looks of varying degrees of sympathy and sadness. There are a few beats of awkward silence. It’s Maia who rallies first, “Well if you’re happy, then I'm happy for you! And it’s a good thing you know an excellent event planner. If you’re lucky, she might even give you a discount on her services if you decide to host your nuptials at Alabama’s premier wedding venue, Garroway Plantation. Of course, we may not be as _ chic _as you New York folk are accustomed to. But we throw one hell of a party,” She winks at him letting him know she is mostly jesting. Magnus would be lying if he didn’t admit the idea had crossed his mind. But there was no way Dot would want a destination wedding in Alabama of all places. He’s pretty sure she has her heart set on The Plaza. Instead he says, “I’ll keep that in mind” and winks back. 

Magnus then pushes away from the table gathering his coffee cup and plate, “I really should be heading to Lightwood Sports. No reason to put this awkward reunion off any longer.”

Maia’s brows furrow watching Magnus put his dishes in the kitchen sink, “I thought you were going to see Alec today?”

Magnus comes back to the table but doesn’t sit down, “I am.” Maia looks up at him, brows still pinched in confusion and says. “But wouldn’t you have better luck finding him at-”

“Hey Maia,” Luke cuts in, “why don’t you give Clary a tour of the estate while Magnus goes into town? If that’s okay with Clary of course?” he asks directing his gaze to the redhead. Wiping the icing from her mouth, Clary answers, “Oh, uh- actually, that would be great. I hadn’t really thought of how to entertain myself while Magnus was busy. A tour would be much appreciated. From what I’ve seen,” she gestures widely to the space around her, “this place is amazing.” 

Maia looks like she wants to say something else but settles for giving Luke an unreadable look. She then looks back at Clary, “Meet me back down here in an hour?” Clary nods in agreement and begins to clean up. 

Magnus decides he better leave now before he loses his nerve. “Okay. I’m off. You beautiful ladies have fun; though I have a feeling there will be more stories told about me than the plantation.” he eyes them suspiciously. They both give him looks of insult. “We would never!” Maia says mock protests. Magnus just rolls his eyes and grabs the keys he left on the counter the previous night. “Wish me luck!” he calls as he goes out the back door.

Once he is gone, Maia looks to Luke, “Want to explain that a few minutes ago?”

Luke just shakes his head, “Some things people need to discover for themselves. And I just didn't think Alec would want us spilling his story so freely. He’ll tell Magnus if he wants him to know.”

“Tell Magnus what?” Clary pipes up. If there was a secret Magnus needs to know, it was her duty as best friend to discover it. “You guys seem awfully protective of this Alec guy. Especially after he abandoned Magnus like he did.” Disapproval sits heavily on her face as she crosses her arms and stares at them.

“As Magnus’ friend you have every right to want to protect him, to see him as the victim. But for those of us here, who knew and loved them both, the story of Malec is a lot more complicated.” Maia explains.

“Ma-Malec?” Clary says, a brow lifted in question. 

Maia answers, “Magnus and Alec. Malec. It was our dumb nickname for them. They pretended to hate it but we all knew they secretly loved it.”

“I seem to remember some shirts that said MALEC FOREVER,” Luke says shaking his head in fondness. 

Clary continues to look at them, unsure of what to say.

Maia looks at her in sympathy. There is so much the woman doesn’t understand, so she says, “Why don’t you go and get ready Clary. We’ll meet back up in a bit for that tour. This is a big estate, there’s a lot of ground to cover - plenty of time you fill you in on Pigeon Creek’s most legendary couple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this isn’t following the movie plot scene for scene. It’s more of a...guideline. Hope you don’t mind the re-interpretation?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! I'm actually achieving my goal to post again on Tuesday. I'm going to try hard to stick to this weekly posting schedule with Tuesday/Wednesday as the posting day.
> 
> Alec finally makes his appearance this chapter and we get Alec POV. So please let me know what you think.
> 
> Find me on twitter: @Dani_Dabbles and on tumblr: @honest-malec
> 
> Use the hashtag #SweetHomefic :)

Magnus takes his time driving into town. Time isn’t something he has much of back in the city. So a leisurely drive through the scenic back roads of Alabama feels...indulgent. With the radio silent, the only sounds are the hum of the engine and the fresh October air swirling around him from the open windows. Autumn has always been his favorite time of year. It’s the season of cozy sweaters, bonfires and pumpkin spice. The foliage begins to change as Mother Nature paints the world in bright reds, golds, yellows, and oranges. And Magnus has always been fond of bold color choices. 

In Pigeon Creek, the highlight of the season is the Fall Festival when the town square is shut down and transformed into a small carnival. Magnus’ family didn’t have much when he was growing up but the festival was a spurge his mom treated him to every year. They would play games, munch on caramel apples and after the sun went down and the air became chilled, they sipped hot chocolate before going home. The festival was their time together, a few hours of freedom from the tension and tears of home.

Magnus was thirteen when the carnival flyers brought him dread instead of joy. He planned to hide the weekend away, his grief too fresh for fun. But Magnus remembers the pounding knocks on his door that Friday that couldn’t be ignored. He had begrudgingly opened the door to find Alec standing there and his friends on their bikes in the driveway. They practically kidnapped him, forcing a clean hoodie over his head, and pushing him onto his bike. He, Alec, Jace, Izzy, Simon, and Maia spent the night at the Lightwood’s tiny fishing cabin on the water. They made s’mores, played Truth or Dare and told ghost stories while wrapped in blankets around the fire. When Magnus finally snuck back into his bedroom early the next morning, he fell into bed and slept soundly for the first time in weeks. 

He shakes his head clearing the images in his head. He’d been in the godforsaken state for less than 24 hours and found himself thinking about his childhood more in that meager timeframe than he had in years. Which irritated Magnus because the past contained only hurt and heartache. He learned at an early age to deflect the things that brought him pain, to put up walls to prevent the hurt from getting in. Don’t think about the screaming match the night before, instead look forward to playing with friends after school. Ignore the bruises on his arm and instead get ready for a date with Alec. Don’t replay the devastation on Alec’s face that last night in Alabama, just finish the project for Fashion Illustration class. Magnus preferred to keep looking forward. He was a man in pursuit of happiness. And happiness was in the future. 

With that thought, Magnus focuses on the road in front of him, however, he is surprised to find he is already entering the town. Magnus slows the car down, peering out the windows wondering what changes the town has made over the years. But as he turns down Main Street, Magnus finds the green paint is still peeling off the facade of Hodge’s Hardware. The neon “OPEN” sign in the window of Taki’s Dinner remains only half glowing. And the green awning above the door to Imogen’s Bakery has faded to a dingy yellow. The only new additions appear to be a new gas station on the corner and a dollar store he passed on the outskirts of town. Mostly, everything remains as worn and drab as he remembers it. Magnus can’t decide if the lack of change pleases or disappoints him. 

Magnus maneuvers the car around the town square. He pulls into a parking spot and gets out. He runs his hands down his chest smoothing out any creases or wrinkles in his outfit. Ignoring the slight tremor in his hands, he turns to the store in front of him. This particular building is better kept than those around it and twice as large. The black lettering on one of the windows reads _Lightwood's Sporting and Outdoor Adventures, Est. 1985_. Magnus opens the glass door, a chime above announcing his entry. He immediately halts, astounded by the sight in front of him. 

_Lightwood’s_ has been transformed since the last time he walked through the door. The brick walls have been exposed and painted white, fluorescent lighting has been traded out for modern pendants hanging from the ceiling and the once dingy linoleum floors are now beautifully refinished hardwood. Merchandise is everywhere. Wood and metal shelves line the walls with hiking boots, gym bags. football helmets, baseball bats, soccer balls and everything in between carefully displayed. The wooden tables arranged around the floor of the store are piled high with athletic wear, hiking gear, and local high school apparel. 

Magnus observes the new look, thinking it rivaled any trendy New York store. But as his eyes flit past the long cashier counter in the middle of the store, they catch on the person standing at its end. The figure is leaning over, arms resting on the wood surface and laughing with someone behind the counter. Logically, Magnus knows Alec is now a man of thirty, his birthday recently passed. But he is unprepared for the physical changes time has bestowed on his ex. Magnus’ brain only has the image of the awkward nineteen-year-old Alec Lightwood to reference. So now, it seems determined to catalog all of the changes and update its mental record. 

Alec had always been physically active - all of the Lightwoods were. He played football, ran track, excelled at archery, hiked, and kayaked. Despite his continuous exercise, he spent his adolescence with a lanky build - much to his jargon. He was all long legs and awkward elbows. But apparently, Alec’s 20s had been more than kind to him. His figure is now lean and athletic. Magnus’ quickly makes note of the black boots, the dark blue jeans covering long slim legs and the fitted black henley over broad shoulders and nicely toned biceps. But it's his face that Magnus’ brain lingers on, so he stands staring helplessly for a few moments. Alec’s cheeks are sharper and his jawline is more defined, the softness of youth long gone. A bright smile lights up his face and his hazel eyes shine in amusement at whatever is being said. Combine all of this with the five o’clock shadow across his face, Alec is the epitome of ruggedly handsome. 

Magnus is roused from his staring by a wet nose bumping into his hand. He looks down to see a large German Shepherd looking up at him curiously. Magnus kneels to pet him properly and receives a slathering kiss across the cheek for his efforts. Magnus laughs. As he moves to stand back up, he hears a voice call out almost laughing, “Shadow! Leave the customers alone.”

Magnus pulls himself to a standing position and looks up toward the counter. He sees the exact moment Alec registers who exactly the dog was greeting. Magnus expects to find shock on Alec’s face. Instead, he sees a flash of recognition as Alec scans Magnus up and down. His quick once over complete, all the amusement that danced across Alec’s face a few moments ago disappears. And Magnus internally bristles as Alec dares to look unimpressed, bored even, at what he sees. Alec crosses his arms and finally addresses Magnus, “How can I help you?”

Magnus reins in his anger at the flat tone of his voice. If that’s how this was going to be Magnus thinks.“Well for starters you can get your stubborn ass over here and give me a divorce.” Magnus pulls the documents from his back pocket and holding it up. Alec narrows his eyes at him considering him for a few moments. He then turns to the man at the counter, who Magnus is now realizing is Jace. They have a quick silent exchange that ends with Jace nodding his head toward a door in the back wall. Alec looks to the dog, “Shadow, stay.” He motions for Magnus to follow. Magnus walks passed Jace, and Shadow sitting next to him, giving a nod of greeting but Jace just watches him pass, face unreadable. 

They end up in Alec’s office. The renovation extending to this room as well with refinished floors, exposed brick, and tasteful decor. The only thing Magnus recognizes is the desk Alec sits behind. The same one he made for his dad in shop class when Robert couldn’t afford a new one. Alec gestures for Magnus to take a seat in the chair opposite him. Magnus perches on the edge, back straight with tension. He allows his eyes to crawl across the photos hanging in frames on the wall behind Alec. Candid shots of the Lightwood Family artfully cover the space. There’s a large frame of the entire family on one of their many hikes in the woods. Another of Jace and Alec grinning, drenched in sweat after a high school football game. A smaller square frame displays a shot of Izzy waving from a kayak on the water. And at the center of it all, is the silhouette of little Max on his swing set. Magnus hastily diverts his eyes from it and refocuses on Alec. Sterling himself he notes, “You don’t look surprised to see me.”

Alec scoffs, “You really thought you could drive a $70,000 Audi into this town and go unnoticed? Didn’t take the rumor mill long to piece it together.”

Instead of replying, Magnus tosses the divorce papers on the desk. Gesturing to them, he says, “You are going to sign these.”

“And what if I say no?” Alec challenges, crossing his toned arms and leaning back in the chair. Magnus thinks that despite all the outwardly changes, Alec still possesses the innate ability to infuriate him. 

“I swear on my mother's grave Alec, I will go down to that little cabin of yours and burn every black shirt you own and replace it with all the glittery, sparkly, bright-colored shirts in my collection,” Magnus threatens. And Magnus knows Alec is thinking back to the time Magnus bedazzled all of his jeans in high school after they had a petty argument. Magnus continues, determined to make Alec understand, “There is a woman back in New York that I intend to marry. But I can’t do that unless you sign these papers. You can’t hold me hostage in this marriage any longer. It’s gone on long enough. So please...just sign them.” Magnus struggles to contain his anger with the demand. 

They stare at each other for a few seconds and Magnus swears he sees devastation flick across the intense hazel that is boring into him. But then Alec closes his eyes, takes a steadying breath and opens them to look back at Magnus. When their gazes meet again, Magnus thinks the greens and golds of Alec’s eyes look a bit more muted, and dull. Alec nods, the previous fight in his demeanor dropping away with the gesture. “Okay. Whatever you want Magnus.” He starts opening drawers in the desk looking for a pen.

“Thank you. Now I can get the hell out of this place and go back home. I have so much to get done before we launch our spring line in a few months. And the WiFi around here is subpar, let’s be honest. And I think if I see one more hillbilly in sleeveless flannel, I’m gonna-,”

“You know what?” Alec interrupts shaking his head, “No. I won’t sign this. Not right now at least.” His hand is paused, hovering over the first signature line.

Cut off from his rambling attempt to fill the silence, Magnus counters, “Excuse me?”

Alec doesn’t bother keeping his irritation in check when he says, “You don’t get to run out of town, _again_, without saying goodbye, _again_.” 

Magnus gives him a dirty look and grits out. “Then what do you want from me?”

Alec considers this for a moment. And Magnus becomes almost fearful of what Alec might ask of him. Alec digs his cellphone out the pocket of his jeans, types for a moment, and sets it back down. He looks back up at Magnus, “Everyone is meeting tonight at Hunter’s Moon for drinks and a few rounds of pool. Tuesday night tradition.” Pointing at the phone he continues, “And I’ve just told them all you’re going to be there.” 

“You want me to go have a few drinks and play pool? That’s it? Then you’ll sign the papers?” Magnus questions him, eyes narrow.

“That’s all I want. You lower yourself to hang out with us hillbillies for one night and I’ll sign the papers. And you can be on your way back to your fabulous fairytale life.” Alec pledges.

“Fine. What time?”

“Be there at 8 pm. First rounds on you.” Alec smirks at him. 

Magnus glares back.

* * *

Alec watches Magnus stalk out of the office then lowers his head into his hands letting out a frustrated sigh. That went well he thinks. 

Even knowing Magnus was in town, knowing he’d seek Alec out and knowing those papers were coming with him, Alec was still not prepared. But how can anyone ever be prepared for Magnus Bane? God, he looked good. When Alec realized it was him staying in the middle of the shop, it had taken every muscle in his face to keep his jaw attached to his head. And with all of his control on his jaw, Alec’s eyes took the opportunity to feast on the man in front of him. 

Growing up Magnus never considered himself an athlete even though he’d been on the swim team in high school. He claimed it was because he could exercise without the gross sweat. However, Alec always suspected it was more for the skimpy uniforms than the workout. Despite his aversion to working up a sweat, Magnus had always been well built while Alec had been skinny and awkward. Now, Alec can’t help but wonder what exercise Magnus is doing to look like _that_. He was all broad shoulders, hard chest, and impressive arms. Before Alec could blurt these thoughts out loud, he’d hastily gained control of himself. He schooled his features as to not betray his inner turmoil.

He regrets the tone of his first words to Magnus. He supposes it was his defenses rallying after being completely disarmed by the man. But before his scrambled brain could come up with something more welcoming to say, Magnus had cut to the chase, demanding a divorce. The haughty tone, the way he’d waltzed in waving divorce papers around had made Alec’s hackles rise. He’d spent years going over their last argument, feeling they’d only paused it when Magnus walked out the door that night. Alec still had things he wanted to say. Walking back to the office, Alec realized he was finally going to have the chance to say his piece. 

But as soon as Magnus mentioned a fiance, Alec’s courage faltered. Then to hear that he felt Alec was holding him hostage? That accusation reopened a wound in Alec’s gut, draining him of every urge to fight. Alec doesn’t think Magnus realizes the words he used. The words are so similar to those that had gutted Alec years before. But Alec still remembers, still bears the emotional scars.

** _[ 2009 ]_ **

_ “So what? You’re just going to leave? You can’t do this!” Alec yells. Tears are gathering along his lashes, only sheer will power holds them back from falling. He’d come home late from the store again. Another long day of trying to keep everything together, to keep it everything from falling further apart. And he felt bad about it, he did. But he didn’t expect to walk through the door of the cabin a few minutes ago to find Magnus standing there with a suitcase and a plane ticket in his hand. _

_ “What are you going to do Alec? Hold me hostage here? Lock me in this stupid cabin to cook you dinner and wait patiently for you to come home every night?! Late as always!? This has gone on long enough! I can’t take it anymore! I hate this shit town. Honestly, I have hated it for a very long time. But you want to know why I stayed? Because of you! But lately...lately you haven’t been here. And I can’t...okay? Not any more...I need a break from this place. I need a break from us.” _

_ Alec feels the bile rise in his throat. Fuck. This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening. Magnus can’t leave him, not now. Not when Alec needs him more than ever. But did he really feel like a hostage here? Was being with Alec that much of a punishment these days? Alec always knew Magnus could do better than him, was Magnus finally realizing this too? Alec pulls Magnus to his chest, running his hands up Magnus' arms, up his neck, caressing his face, trying to coax Magnus to look at him. He whispers in desperation, “I’ll do better. I promise. Everything is so messed up. Mom and Dad- well- I’ll talk to them okay? I’ll make them understand that I need them to come back. Magnus, please. I know we are both in pain right now, but how is leaving going to fix anything?” _

_ “There is no fixing this. What am I supposed to do? Just stay here and suffer? Because that’s all this town has ever brought me: pain and suffering. And I can’t bear it any longer. I need out of here.” _

_ “No, no, no. no, no, please. I’ve lost everything: my brother, practically my parents, and almost the store. I can’t lose you too, Magnus. Okay?” His lips are trembling as he gently kisses Magnus. He waits for Magnus to respond but the beautiful mouth that has always enthusiastically kissed him back stays firmly shut against him. “Stay with me. Okay?” Alec quietly pleads.“Come on, stay with me,” he tastes his own tears as he tries pressing another kiss to Magnus’s lips. But Magnus just stands there looking down, allowing Alec to hold him, but never returning any touch, any affection. _

_ “Alec...I can’t....I'm sorry.” Magnus whispers as he pulls out of Alec’s grasp. Keeping his face downcast, he walks out the door, never looking back. _

“Hey man, you okay?”

Alec jerks up to see Jace hovering in the doorway. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“So...you invited Magnus to Hunter’s Moon?” Jace looks skeptical as he crosses his arms and leans against the door frame. “What’s that all about? And why wasn’t there more yelling? I expected yelling.”

Alec gives him an unimpressed look, “We are grown men, Jace. And even though Magnus is infuriating as hell, I think we’re more than capable of holding a civil conversation. But to answer your question, Magnus is joining us tonight because I refused to sign anything unless he does.”

“He’s right. You are a stubborn ass. And for that, I’m proud of you. Don’t let him walk all over you in those fancy-ass shoes. Seriously, how much do you think those things cost?” Jace ponders. 

Alec rolls his eyes. “I didn’t do it to be petty. I just think he should have the decency to say hello to everyone before he leaves again. You know Izzy would be crushed if he didn’t.”

Jace shrugs. “Okay, sure I’ll buy that. You’re doing delaying him for Izzy’s sake. Not because you want at least one more opportunity to ogle him.”

“I do _not_ ogle.”

“Hey, no judgment here,” Jace says holds his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “On the bright side, if he’s buying, you better believe I’m ordering the most expensive drink the bartender can concoct.” He gives Alec a wicked grin before retreating to the cashier counter.

Alec slumps forward, his forehead to hitting the desk, and silently curses the universe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning I didn't do much editing to this. It's late and I just wanted to get it posted. I'll go back over it tomorrow and make any adjustments if needed. But I lost sleep to get this out so I'm shamelessly asking for kudos/comments if you like it. It'll make my sleep deprived Wednesday better. 😆
> 
> Full disclosure: there are a few direct lines from the movie in this chapter. I don't own them and credit goes to those that do.
> 
> As always, you can find me on Twitter (@Dani_Dabbles) and Tumblr (@honest-malec). 
> 
> Use the hashtag #SweetHomefic

“So who are we meeting at this bar anyway?” Clary questions leaning forward from the back seat. 

“Let’s see,” Maia says as she haphazardly applies makeup using the visor mirror. “Alec, Alec’s sister Izzy, their adopted brother Jace, Izzy’s husband Simon, and Simon’s sister Rebecca. Plus several people you haven’t met, Magnus. Bat might be there with Alec. I’m not sure. He’s new to our little group and we don’t know him real well yet. He’s kinda quiet and typically just keeps to Alec’s side. But he seems cool, I guess, and having him around is good for Alec. Oh! And I think Aline and Helen will be there. They are like the new power couple in town.” Maia giggles a bit. “Helen is super sweet and just lovely person to be around. And Aline..well don’t let her fool you. She likes to seem like a badass but I’ve heard her baby talk to Alec’s dog, Shadow, too many times to believe it. You’ll definitely love them.” Magnus is still trying to process _ good for Alec _when Maia angles herself to face him grinning excitedly. She must catch the furrowed brow of confusion on Magnsus’ face because her face softens, and she lays her hand on his arm, “Don’t worry, Magnus. Everyone is excited to see you. Even the people who haven’t officially met you yet.”

He tries to let the reassurance piece together his fraying nerves. He has always been considered a “people-person”. He prides himself on the ability to mesh with a plethora of personalities, whether it be collaborating with artsy designers, schmoozing and dazzling wealthy investors, or debating current events with the many politicians in Dot’s social circle. Throw him in a room with strangers and Magnus will come out with a dozen new contacts in his phone, several drink meetups on his calendar, and a standing invitation to go skiing in Aspen. So why does the reality of an evening drinking and catching up with his childhood friends have his stomach clenching? 

But if there is one thing Magnus wears better than any outfit, it’s his mask of bravado that’s always ready to slide into place when needed. “Oh. I’m not worried Maia dear. I can charm the pants of anyone.”

Clary snorts in the back, “I wish I could say he means that figuratively, but I’ve _ literally _seen it happen.”

Maia looks between them bewildered, her lipstick paused halfway to her lips, “I don’t even want to know. Just try to keep it to a minimum. I really don’t want to see Simon in his underwear...again.”

A few minutes later they pull into the back parking lot of Hunter’s Moon. Out of the car, Magnus turns to Clary, “How do I look?” He was wearing gray trousers, with a burgundy and gold tunic style shirt and his favorite pair of loafers. A half a dozen necklaces hang down his chest and there was a fresh coat of black nail polish on his fingers. He’d left the blue streaks in his swooped back hair but added a bit more drama to his eye makeup. 

“Stunning as always.” Clary declares. “How about me? Do I look okay? Are you sure this was the right outfit?”

Magnus gives her a critical once over, taking in her heeled boots, black skinny jeans, white tank and floral bomber jacket. But mostly he was taking the time to appreciate how his biscuit wanted to make a good impression on people that had once been Magnus’ family. It endeared him completely. He sighs, “Clary Fray, you are perfection as always. And I’m warning you, I will steal that jacket one day.”

“Okay you two, this is a bar not a runaway. Let’s go.” Maia stands arms crossed looking at them in exasperation.

“Says the lady wearing that killer leather jacket. Honestly, I’m a little upset I didn’t design it.” Magnus sniffs. Maia just rolls her eyes and starts walking toward the front of the building. They can already hear laughter and loud music filtering out.

Magnus and Clary follow her, but Magnus’ cell phone begins to ring from his pocket. He sees the name on the screen and his face lights up. He answers, “I miss you! I miss you! I miss you.!” Dot laughs on the other end of the line. 

“I miss you too. I can’t wait for you to be back home. New York is not the same without you in it.”

“You flatter me completely my dear.”

“But I am calling with news you’ll want to hear.” Dot alludes.

“Well don’t hold me in suspense dear!” He motions for Clary and Maia to go in without him. 

“Harper’s Bazaar ran an article on you, Clary and RUNEZ. They said your designs continued to stun them, they called you ‘the next big thing’ in the world of fashion and predicted that you’d soon be a household name.”

Magnus can’t hold in the squeal of delight. “That’s amazing! Every time I see our work being recognized it makes all the sacrifices worth it. Thank you for calling me. It’s wonderful news but made even more so hearing if from your voice.” He’s lingers outside the front door of Hunter’s Moon as they talk.

“What’s that noise?” Dot asks, hearing the commotion of the bar before him.

“The sounds of my past,” he groans out. “Call you tomorrow?”

“Of course. Have a good time. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Magnus pockets his phone and steps into Hunter’s Moon. 

The place is small but a large bar with shelves of liquor dominates the left wall. Small tables are scattered about, most of them full. Lights strung around the room create an intimate glow. At the back of the room is a pool table and a few large booths. He sees Maia waving him back in that direction. 

There’s a woman sitting in the booth with her back to Magnus. When Maia starts waving, she looks over her shoulder and without hesitation bolts from the booth, practically running and jumping into Magnus’ arms. He quickly wraps his arms around her waist to keep them both upright. 

“I can’t believe you’re here!” she breathes out into his shoulder, slightly muffled. Magnus laughs and pulls her back at arms length. 

“Isabelle, you are even more beautiful than I remember.” Magnus says with no lie or exaggeration. Like her brother, Isabelle was blessed with flawless skin, raven dark hair and dark eyes you could drown in. Magnus thought she was more stunning than any of the models on his runways.

“Oh stop!” she playfully batts his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go meet everyone and most importantly - get you a drink.”

They walk back toward the rest of the group, Izzy never completely letting go of his arm until they are swarmed. Magnus shakes Simon’s hand but ends up in a bone-crushing hug instead. Jace laughs and shakes his hand with a few thumps on the back. Magnus waves to Rebecca in greeting. Aline and Helen pulled toward him and introduced next. As Maia predicted, Magnus instantly likes them. Clary gets a round of introductions as well. And even as the true outsider of the group, she’s pulled in for multiple hugs as well. 

Everyone is talking excitedly when Alec approaches with a tray of drinks. He begins passing them around the group but whispers to Magnus. “Don’t worry, I opened up a tab for you.”

Before Magnus can retort back, he notices the figure standing at Alec’s side. “You brought your dog...to a bar?”

Alec shrugs. “He’s clingy. And the owners don’t mind.” He walks toward the pool table, “So, who’s playing?”

There is a chorus of “Me!” as Simon, Jace and Maia jump up to join him. Magnus settles in the booth with the others. For the next hour, they chat and fill Magnus in on the events of the last decade while Shadow settles in under the table, waiting for a stray treat to find its way to the floor. Magnus learns that Izzy and Simon were finally married last summer. Simon works at the local high school as a History teacher. And Izzy recently began her residency at a nearby hospital as a pathologist. Simon explains it best, “I love to read about dead people, and she likes to cut open dead people. We’re meant to be.” Maia talks about the plantation’s event business she helped Luke build and the civil war reenactments they host monthly for tourists. Eventually the round of pool ends and the others join the conversation. Jace concisely says he now has a business degree and continues to work at _ Lightwood’s _ . Aline and Helen excitedly discuss their new home decor business _ Heline’s Home Goods _and plans to expand their products now that they have a new location. 

At some point shots are ordered and Magnus feels a pleasant hum under his skin as the alcohol hits his system. More rounds of pool are played with Magnus kicking both Jace and Maia’s butts. It does not escape his notice that Alec has mostly avoided him all night, even though Magnus is here at his insistence. Magnus decides he’s not letting him off the hook that easily. He knows he’s a bit tipsy at this point of the night, but downs another glass of liquid courage. Fortified by the burn in his throat and the flush across his skin, Magnus turns to find the man currently making his life more difficult..

Alec stands in the corner, taking long draws from his beer and talking to Simon. As Magnus approaches, their conversation filters through the commotion of the tight quarters finding Magnus’ ears. “So how are things going with Bat? Are you happy with him? Is he here to stay?” Simon asks him. Alec answers back, shrugging but smiling widely as he responds, “What can I say, the guy is good with his hands and I’d be crazy not to keep talent like that around.” Simon busts out laughing at the omission but it has Magnus stopping abruptly. Someone bumps into him and sloshes their drink on his sleeve. He hardly notices, instead he does an immediate turn around to take refuge back at the booth. It's been 10 years, what did he expect? That Alec would have been celibate and pining for Magnus all of this time? Magnus certainly hadn’t been. And he was _ engaged _. So why do those overheard words have him feeling queasy? He decides he is definitely not drunk enough to hear about Alec’s sex life and changes paths to the bar. 

The tall, dark skinned woman at the bar smirks at his approach. “I wondered when you’d come over here and grace me with your presence.”

“Cat, I always save the best for last!” Magnus laughs. “And I’m loving the hair by the way.”

“Some kid told me years ago that I could pull off it off. I took his advice.” she winks gesturing to the bold blue color of her locks. “What can I get you?”

“Let’s do two more rounds of shots.” Cat just chuckles at the request and starts filling glasses. 

Catarina Loss had always fascinated Magnus. Before settling in Pigeon Creek 15 years ago, she’d been well on her way to becoming a world renowned plastic surgeon based in New York City. Magnus had been drawn to her in his youth, enthralled by her tales for life in the city. But mostly he’d hounded her about her reasons to leave it all behind. He just couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to leave their high paying, fast paced medical job to renovate and reopen a dilapidated bar in the backwoods of Alabama. No matter how many times he asked, he never got a satisfactory answer. Cat would just shake her head and tell him he’d understand when he was older. 

Well, he was older now and he still didn’t understand. He leaves the bar with promises to catch up with her before he leaves town. Magnus goes back to the booth and internally pats himself on the back for not spilling the tray of liquor. Before he can start distributing drinks, he notices a newcomer in conversation with Simon and Alec. There was only one person it could be. He takes a shot and grabs another. The alcohol buzzing through his body urges him over, jumping into their conversation. “Alec, are you going to sign the papers now?”

Shaking his head, Alec says, “Hm. Nope. Not yet. The night isn’t over.” 

“It’s been two hours!”

“Still no.”

Feeling spiteful Magnus turns to Bat, “Hi, I’m Magnus. Alec’s husband who lives in New York that he hasn’t seen in a decade but still refuses to divorce even though I’m engaged to another woman.” He extends his hand out for Bat to shake. 

A baffled Bat accepts his hand shake stuttering out, “H-Hi. I’m Bartholomew. But everyone calls me Bat.” They stand in awkward silence for a moment and Magnus can’t ignore the scathing look coming from Alec.

Alec looks to Bat, “Do you mind going and grabbing a few more beers?”

“Sure thing.”

Alec scowls at Magnus and moves forward to the pool table to set up a new game. 

Magnus places his drink in Alec’s way, “Why do you make me be mean to you? Is this what you want? To argue and humiliate yourself in front of all of you friends?”

Simon pipes up, “Come on Magnus. We were your friends too.”

“Yeah!” Jace calls from the booth. “Hey Simon. You hungry?” he says joining them with a shit eating grin.

“Sure am Jace!” And they pounce on Magnus squeezing him between them and yelling“Magnus sandwich!! Just like old times!”

Everyone is cackling at the display as Magnus tries to wrestle himself out from between them.

“No! Not like old times! Times have changed. No more Magnus sandwich. No more Magnus tacos. And no more Magnus corndog alright!?.”

“Okay. Fine.”

“Sorry.”

“Come on guys, let's play some pool.” Alec calls. “And maybe Magnus can show us some pool skills because with that shirt I question his skills as a designer.”

Magnus gives him a gesture that he’d normally consider distasteful, but Alec seems to bring out his worst manners tonight. “Let's play pool pretty boy. Because this shirt is as flawless as my game.” The room cheers.

Copious amounts of alcohol and almost an hour later, Magnus finds himself stumbling in his attempts to move around the pool table. He leans over Simon as the man prepares to take his turn. Magnus slurs out, “Don’t miss.”

When he does, Simon points at Magnus while talking to Alec. “Are you going to divorce him now?”

Alec squints considering, “I don’t know. It's been 10 years, what’s the harm in making him wait a few more days?”

Magnus seethes. “I don’t know why it makes a difference. It’s not like there are assets to divide up. He’s got nothing I want.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Jace mumbles.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Magnus asks accusingly.

“It means tha-”

“Jace don’t bother. He made up his mind about me a long time ago,” Alec interjects.

Magnus glares, “Well some things never change.” Later Magnus would realize that drinking alcohol when he was already feeling insecure and defensive was the worst decision of the night. But right now, he gave in to his mounting frustrations. “At least nothing changes in this shithole of a town. Don’t you people realize there’s a whole world out there?! How do you live like this? Nothing ever changes. You never leave. You never see the world. You’re just content to live in this drab, poor bubble your entire life!” He tosses back another shot and calls out to Cat. “Cat, dear, get me another?”

She shakes her head, “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

“You’re right. I have had enough. I’ve had enough of this place.” Magnus starts to stumble toward the door.

He’s rounding the corner of the building, digging for his keys in his pocket when someone grabs his arm. Magnus is yanked around to face Alec who is gritting his teeth, anger simmering, “What makes you think you can treat us all like that. To insult everyone like-like we’re just something you’ve stepped in in those fancy ass shoes?!” 

“You asked for it!” Magnus yells pulling away.

“You think your better than us don’t you? The money, the labels, the shoes..it’s all you care about and it’s pathetic!” Alec yells at him while also trying to grab the keys from Magnus’ hand. 

“You’re just jealous because I’m going places!” Magnus shouts back tripping toward his car.

Alec finally wrenches the keys from Magnus’s grip, “No you’re not. Not like this. If you want to kill yourself you do it somewhere else. But not here.”

“So what if I’m doing something with my life while you stay here and work at your family’s store for the rest of your life. Get a new dream! But don’t be mad at me for living mine! Everyone in that bar was judging me a little bit tonight. Because I had the guts to leave this town and make something of myself. I may enjoy the finer things in life now but I’ve worked damned hard to get where I am and I’m not sorry for it. Just because you all are content to stay mediocre, doesn’t mean I have to feel guilty.” Magnus is still ranting as Alec grabs his arm again and forces him into his own truck. 

Alec slams the door close and walks around to get in the driver's seat. Alec doesn’t say another word as he leaves Hunter’s Moon. As they drive toward the plantation in silence, Magnus closes his eyes and fights not to pass out or throw up or both. 

He does not succeed.

* * *

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “I’m going to New York...like we planned.” _

_ “Now?! I-I don’t understand? We can’t just drop everything a-and leave! I have to watch the store, my parents are a mess...I can't just run off. Not right now!” _

_ “If not now? When?!” Magnus exclaims. “Do you see that letter on the table?” he points toward the small dining room table Alec had made them. “That’s an acceptance letter from the Fashion Institute. The Fashion Institute, Alec! I got in! My dream school actually wants me. I’ve wanted to tell you all week. But you haven’t been here. Instead, I’ve gone to bed every night by myself and wake up to see you stumbling out the door in the morning.” Magnus shakes him head in defeat. “The semester starts in a few weeks and I am going to be there. I’m not losing this opportunity.” _

_ “So what? You’re just going to leave? You can’t do this!” Alec yells. _

_ Magnus was aware of the selfishness in leaving. And the thought of leaving Alec? Well it feels like his heart is being gripped by an invisible hand and roughly yanked back and forth in his ribcage. Yes, he could stay. He could stay and spare them both this heartache right here, right now. But sitting in the cabin, alone, every night this week, Magnus had plenty of time to envision that future. Alec would take over Lightwood’s, Magnus would continue working for the plantation and they’d live their little life in their little cabin. But already Magnus could feel the seed of resentment ready to sprout in his gut. And he wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to weed it out permanently. Did he really want to live the rest of his life harboring a grudge toward the person he was supposed to love unconditionally? What sort of marriage would that be? What sort of future? It wasn’t fair to him and it definitely wasn’t fair to Alec. _

_ And the Institute? It was the beginning of his dream. And Alec knew this. He knew, yet, here he was telling Magnus he can’t go. He knew how much Magnus wanted out of Pigeon Creek. They’d been meticulously planning and saving every extra penny for this move since graduating over a year ago. They’d been applying to schools, looking for apartments and discussing all the adjustments city life would bring. Magnus’ application to the Institute had been submitted with a heart full of hope but a head full of doubt. But He. Got. In. Did Alec not understand that an opportunity like this would probably never come his way again? _

_ Yes, life had dealt them all an unexpected, devastating blow a few months back. But it wasn’t the first Magnus had endured. And he knew that moving forward was the only way to heal. The fact that Alec seems to have forgotten, or at the very least became indifferent, to their plan hurt Magnus harder than he imagined. And that hurt quickly festered into anger. Magnus was angry at the Universe for taking another innocent soul from his life. He was angry at the Lightwood parents for abandoning their living children in their grief. He was irrationally angry at the Institute for accepting him in their program and putting him in this impossible situation. He was angry at the stupid freaking lasagna he burned that night for dinner. And he was angry at Alec standing before him asking him to stay. To wait with blind faith that maybe, possibly, one day they’ll dust off their plans and put them in motion again. The anger coiled and grew in his stomach finally striking out viciously at the closest target, Alec. _

_ “What are you going to do Alec? Hold me hostage here? Lock me in this stupid cabin to cook you dinner and wait patiently for you to come home every night?! Late as always!? This has gone on long enough! I can’t take it anymore! I hate this shit town. Honestly, I have hated it for a very long time. But you want to know why I stayed? Because of you! But lately...lately you haven’t been here. And I can’t...okay? Not any more...I need a break from this place. I need a break from us.” _

_ His own words struck his ears painfully but they were nothing compared to the desperation in Alec’s voice. _

_ “I’ll do better. I promise. Everything is so messed up. Mom and Dad- well- I’ll talk to them okay? I’ll make them understand that I need them to come back. Magnus, please. I know we are both in pain right now, but how is leaving going to fix anything?” _

_ But that’s the shit thing about life - sometimes there is no fixing it. Instead you have to choose the pain with the most potential for healing. So Magnus choose for the both of them. _

_ “There is no fixing this. What am I supposed to do? Just stay here and suffer? Because that’s all this town has ever brought me: pain and suffering. And I can’t bear it any longer. I need out of here.” _

_ Magnus retreats into himself. Because what else can he really say? He hears Alec pleading with him. But the words hit the walls he hastily erected around his heart, desperately trying to hold himself together. Alec’s kissing him and there is a voice inside screaming and thrashing at him to kiss back. But doing so would bring his defenses crumbling down. So Magnus manages to make his feet move. To pull back. _

_ “Alec...I can’t....I'm sorry.” _

  


The dream, no memory, has Magnus waking suddenly, which turns out to be another terrible decision to add to his ever growing list. His vision is foggy, the sun is too bright to open his eyes, his stomach feels unsettled and he’s pretty sure there’s a drumline beating on his brain. Everything hurts. Trying to remember the previous night, Magnus starts to regret the number of shots he must have took. He groans and rolls to his back hearing a crunching sound as he does. Maneuvering to pull the object out from under him, Magnus finds himself staring at papers. He blinks a few times to bring it into better focus.

Alec’s signature stares back up at him from their place on the divorce papers.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I sorta redeem Magnus? Are you still angry at him? Also I didn’t originally plan for Catarina but I saw an opportunity to add her and took it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hump Day! I’m back this week with an update! Sorry for the delay but other stories, sick children and inconvenient need for sleep have gotten in the way. This chapter is a bit shorter. My original plans for it seem better split into two chapters instead of one.
> 
> Feedback and comments are always welcome!
> 
> Seek me out on Twitter (@Dani_Dabbles) and Tumblr (@honest-malec)

Magnus studies the signature in front of him. _ Well, that’s done _, he thinks. Obtaining this signature was the entire reason he was here, but at this moment Magnus feels no satisfaction in it. Deciding it’s best to not think too deeply on that before taking some aspirin, Magnus rallies enough to drag his heavy body down to the kitchen, plodding down the stairs, not even caring that he's still in last night’s clothes. Before taking the last step into the kitchen, he comes to an abrupt stop on the bottom step.

“What the hell?”

Luke looks up at him and chuckles. “Don’t mind us, we’re just making some adjustments before the upcoming reenactment.” He gestures to himself and a hand full of other men in the kitchen. Hodge Starkweather is standing near the window in a rough muslin shirt, wool pants and barefoot while playing around on his phone. Valentine Morgenstern and Stephen Herondale are situated by the table facing each other adjusting buttons and collars on their military-style coats. Luke is polishing his knee flap boots with a rag while leaning against the counter. And two more men Magnus doesn’t know are sorting a pile of muskets and bayonets on the center island. Magnus shakes his head as he passes through seeking out the coffeemaker, mumbling, “People need a passport to come down here.” Cup sufficiently filled to the brim, he turns and dodges around the men once more. But he covertly eyes the brass buttons, military jackets, kepi hats and boots, filing them away for later design inspiration. 

Magnus takes his mug and wonders out of the kitchen through the hallway and out on the front portico finding a seat in one of the rocking chairs. It's fairly early and Magnus knows that Clary is still sleeping. At this point, they won’t make their flight. He sighs and takes his phone from his pocket surprised to see it still has some charge left. He sends a text to Dot simply saying he’s been delayed and will be booking a new flight home in a few days. He shoves the phone back in his pocket not even waiting for her reply. He’ll deal with arranging a new flight and all of those details later.

Sipping coffee and rocking slowly, Magnus allows his mind to analyze the hazy memories from the night before. His subconscious happily obliges him by replaying his own words over and over. Magnus winces with shame and a sizable portion of self-loathing. He screwed up. Big time. Everyone had been nice to him and interested in his new life. And in return, he’d called them mediocre, boring and unsuccessful. Yep, he royally fucked up this time. But Magnus hadn’t been lying when he told Alec he felt an undercurrent of judgment throughout the evening. Magnus usually stuck out in a crowd - something he normally took pride in. But sitting in Hunter’s Moon with his designer clothing and makeup, Magnus had felt self-conscientious. He supposes it unnerved him that his armor of flashy clothes and easy confidence couldn’t hide the boy they grew up. They looked at him and saw the boy who helped them wreak havoc on their small town. But he wasn’t that boy anymore and it irritated him that they didn’t seem to understand that. And apparently, his insecurities only needed a few teasing remarks and a few drinks of alcohol to rear its ugly head in the form of scathing insults and drunken ranting. 

Groaning at himself Magnus leans his head back and closes his eyes thinking back to the stupid teasing of Jace, Simon, and Alec. For years now, he has been in uptight, aristocratic circles where every comment has an underlying slight. Teasing is a camouflaged form of ridicule, a way to subtly insult the person to their face. It's a twisted game of egos and status that Magnus has grown accustomed to. New York might be more diverse than Alabama but a man in eyeliner and sequins is still a target. But among the group at the bar, teasing was a sign of affection, oddly enough. Goading each other was the norm because at the end of the day there was no doubt that they loved and cared for each other. Magnus had forgotten what it’s like to have that sort of relationship. A memory of Alec winking at him and saying, “Come on Magnus, I wouldn’t tease you if I didn’t love you.” flashes before him and Magnus finds himself smiling just a bit. The small smile that had found its way to his mouth quickly falters to a frown. He has been on the defensive since he booked his plane ticket here, ready to take down any offense aimed in his direction. And as a result, Magnus misinterpreted the entire situation last night.

Still rocking slowly, he straightens up in the chair with renewed purpose. He needs to apologize, maybe even grovel. He can’t bear the thought of leaving Pigeon Creek with the way things ended the night before. Hopefully, everyone would be willing to tolerate his presence long enough for him to try and make amends. Downing the last dregs of coffee from his mug, Magnus allows it to burn down his throat and resigns himself to a day of seeking long overdue forgiveness.

He’s heaving himself out of the rocker when a car comes whipping up to the house kicking up dust from the gravel drive. Magnus quirks an eyebrow and waits to greet the visitor. The unremarkable white car pulls around the circular drive to the front steps. A young man with thinning hair and a slim build pulls himself from the car. He’s in tailored khakis, a blue gingham button-up with a navy sport coat over it and a camera slung over his shoulder. 

“Can I help you?”

“Magnus Garroway! Hi, I’m Barry Lowenstein from the New York Post. You are not an easy man to track down, you know! But I was hoping you’d answer a few questions for me,” the man announces jovial and enthusiastic.

Magnus narrows his eyes and crosses his arms over his rumpled shirt. He has never minded talking with the press. They were a vital part of marketing his brand. He’s always willing to sit down and chat with the many journalists he’s built a solid rapport with. But this man is unfamiliar and it irks Magnus that he had the gall to show up here unannounced, “I’m not sure now is the best time. Why don’t we schedule an appointment next week once I return to New York? Next Thursday perhaps?”

“I promise Mr. Garroway, it won’t take long. And besides, the people want to know more about the man rising through the fashion racks!” Barry says as he climbs the last few steps to join Magnus. “This is your childhood home, correct? Care to show me around?” He angles himself toward the front door seeming ready to welcome himself in.

Magnus moves to step in front of him, “Uh, I really don’t have time for this today. Surely we can reschedule for a later time?”

The reporter laughs. “I promise to only take an hour of your time. Unless you are trying to hide something Mr. Garroway?” he teases.

Magnus tenses with the hint of threat in those words. Surely this nobody journalist doesn’t know about Magnus Bane? There’s no way, Magnus assures himself. He told very few people about his life in Alabama and even then he only shared that he grew up on a plantation with his stepfather who spoiled him - which was a heavily embellished form of the truth. Luke was the only person in Pigeon Creek who knew he used the name Garroway. And Luke was the Fort Knox of secrets. He’d never betray Magnus that way. Convincing himself his secrets were still safe, Magnus forces himself to smile, “No. No, never mind. It’s fine. Let’s - uh, take a quick peek inside shall we?” Magnus moves to open the large, heavy front door and ushers Barry in. 

“So this is it. Lovely isn’t it?” Magnus states gesturing to the marbled tile entry, curving staircase and ornate woodwork surrounding them. And he’s satisfied to note the look of awe on the man’s face.

“Wow. This is amazing! What was it like to grow up here? You probably have so many stories.”

“Um, yes, well. You’re right there are just so many stories I don’t even know where to begin.” Magnus winces at his meek tone.

“Let’s start with the history of this place. I read that it was a part of the Underground Railroad. Tell me more about that.” Barry prompts, looking at Magnus expectantly.

Magnus commences to internally freak out. He may consider the plantation his second home but hell if he knew anything about it. Frantically he tries to recall any sort of tidbit Luke would have mentioned over the years. _ Damn young Magnus and his disinterest in local history! _ Magnus is silently chastising his younger self when he’s yanked from his thoughts. The panic sets in when he hears a commotion coming from the kitchen down the hall. Luke. _ Shit _ . And his friends. _ Shit shit shit _. Luke wouldn’t sell him out but the others might unintentionally reveal Magnus’ real name. And there was no time to explain the delicate situation to them. In an attempt to avoid the men completely, Magnus grabs Barry’ arm and throws open the nearest door shoving him through it.

“This...this is a closet?” Barry questions. And even in the dark, Magnus knows the man is giving him a bewildered look. Magnus fumbles around overhead before finding the pull string and alighting the small space with the bare bulb above.

“Uh, yes. It is. But you see, it was a significant closet back in the day. Um, it was used to hide slaves on the run. I used to hide in here a lot as a kid. Which is ironic because I was never actually _ in the closet _.” Magnus jokes trying to diffuse the awkwardness of the cramped room.

“Riiiight.” Barry draws out but types out some notes on the phone he must have pulled from somewhere.

Magnus hears the kitchen door open and the sounds of boots scuffling down the hall as the men step out the door. Deeming it safe, he flings open the closet door and emerges just in time to see Maia coming down the grand staircase. She startles at Magnus’ sudden appearance and gives him a look as Barry steps out with him. Before she can say whatever it is Magnus sees on the tip of her tongue, he interjects.

“Maia! This is Barry. He’s with the New York Post. And he’s come to interview me about growing up here at the plantation. You know, as Luke’s stepson and all.” He punctuates each word and gives her his most pleading look. Hoping against hope she will have his back despite the events of the previous night.

Without missing a beat, Maia’s face breaks into a delighted smile as she comes down the remaining steps, “Hi! I’m Maia. Magnus’s...cousin.” They shake hands. “So, has Magnus given you a tour yet?”

Barry gives Magnus a side-eye, “Mr. Garroway here was just getting started.” 

“Well, let me show you around! Magnus may have grown up here, but I’ve always been fascinated by the history of the family homestead. I can tell you all the best stories.” She waves Barry to follow her back up the stairway as she launches into the history of the plantation, its role in the Underground Railroad and how the Garroways come to own the home back in the 1960s. Magnus trails behind enthralled by Maia’s history lesson but also trying to hide his fasciation at the information he supposedly already knows.

An hour later, Magnus and Maia are back on the front portico, waving as Barry travels back down the driveway and out of their hair. Once he’s out of sight, Maia turns to Magnus, eyebrows high with a look that can only mean trouble for Magnus. “Aren’t you just a big fat liar.” she declares poking his side hard but laughing.

“Ow! Okay, okay. Yes. I lied! Luke let me use his name and I told everyone I grew up here privileged and spoiled.” Magnus exclaims back but he’s laughing too. But then he sobers up before asking, “Do you hate me for it?”

Maia pauses her torment, “No. I don’t hate you.”

“Not even after last night?”

Shaking her head, curls bouncing, Maia says, “Not even then.”

Magnus looks away, afraid she will see the tears trying to gather along his lashes. Relief floods through him, because if Maia doesn’t hate him, then maybe the others don’t either.

“Look, Magnus,” she says gently putting her hand on his shoulder, “Everyone talks about you leaving Alec all those years ago. But he’s not the only one you ran out on.”

“I know,” Magnus whispers, looking down as he wraps his arms around himself. “I have a lot to make up for.”

Maia is quiet for a moment but when she speaks it's far friendlier than Magnus expects, “Well, you can start right here with me. Tomorrow is Thursday and the first day of the festival and we have reenactments scheduled all weekend. So, I have a stupid amount of food to make. You can help me in the kitchen.”

Magnus turns his head to look at her, an appreciative half-smile finding its way onto his face. “I can absolutely do that.” 

She links her arms with his and leads him back into the house. They are pulling ingredients out of the pantry when Clary emerges. She is quick to volunteer her services as well and soon the three of them are bustling around in preparation for the busy weekend. They bake, they laugh, they reminisce. Magnus tells Maia more about putting himself through design school and reinventing himself as Magnus Garroway. Clary divulges her own story and the life of a born and raised New Yorker. And they both listen attentively as Maia talks about starting the event business with Luke’s unwavering support of the idea; how she never pictured herself as an event planner but loves every second of it. By the time dinner rolls around, they are so sick of cooking that they order pizza and collapse on the couches in the living room. Magnus’ muscles ache and he has flour in his unstyled hair but he feels peaceful, content. It's the sort of feeling he thought he’d only ever experience in his studio back in Brooklyn. Finding it here was a welcomed surprise. It feels _right_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for missing the update last week, but it looks like this will probably be on two week posting schedule moving forward. But! We are almost there. I think this will be 8 chapters long. Maybe 9. But for now, as an apology for missing last week's update here is the longest chapter yet! As always it is completely un-beta'd and I'll probably look at it in the morning with fresh eyes and find several appalling mistakes but for now please excuse them and I hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> Reminder: I do not own the characters and certain lines of dialogue are taken directly from Shadowhunter (TV) and Sweet Home Alabama (Movie). Credit to those writers and thank you for letting me borrow them.
> 
> Find me mostly on Twitter: @Dani_Dabbles and sometimes on Tumblr: @honest-malec

The following morning Magnus is once again up bright and early, ready to begin the Magnus Bane Apology Tour 2019. Arriving at his first stop of the day, he grabs the bulky yellow envelope from the passenger seat and jogs up the steps and into the Post Office. He walks toward the counter and slows as he takes in the man with dark skin and balding hair standing there ready to assist him. He’s older and a little heavier than Magnus remembers him. He approaches the counter and hands the envelope containing his divorce papers over to the postmaster. Sheepishly he says, “You probably don’t remember me…”

“Magnus Bane. 1065 Fish Pond Road. You used to steal catfish out of my pond.”

Magnus blinks at him. “Uh, yes. Yes, I did. I’m sorry for it.”

The postmaster hums in response as he types away on his computer. “Okay, that will be $2.75 to send this to Fell & Associates, New York City, New York.”

Magnus hands him his card then jokingly asks, “You wouldn’t happen to know where I might find Alec Lightwood, would you? You seem to know where to find everyone and I didn’t see his truck parked at the store.”

The postmaster evaluates him for a moment looking slightly disapproving. “He might have been here yesterday arranging for several large crates to be shipped out. And he might have mentioned going to his cabin to clean out a garage. So, you might find him there today.”

Magnus nods. “Thank you. And sorry again...about the fish.” he backs out the door waving awkwardly. 

Magnus navigates his rented Audi south out of town following the small county road a few miles out. He then turns onto a partially hidden but oh so familiar gravel lane. Morning light flickers through the trees and the gravel crunches under the tires as he rolls down the windows to allow the smell of pine and the distinct, yet indescribable smell of lake water to filter in. The car emerges from a break in the trees and pulls up to a small, worn cabin sitting right on a small secluded lake. Magnus puts the car in park and stares at the place that had once been his home. 

Situated on 20 acres, the Lightwood’s cabin was their home away from home. It may only be a few miles outside of town, but it feels a world away. When the kids were growing up, Maryse and Robert would bring them here almost every weekend for family time. And they generously allowed Magnus, Maia, and Simon to tag along on more than one occasion. They’d hike around the woods, fish from the small dock or spend hours splashing around in the water. Magnus surveys the water’s edge looking for the rope swing they'd use to catapult themselves into the lake. He’s disappointed to find it missing. But the large fire pit sits in the same spot and Magnus remembers huddling around it with his friends making s’mores and playing Truth or Dare after Maryse and Robert retired to the one-bedroom cabin. 

Alec especially loved it here. As they grew into their teen years the family weekend getaways dwindled, but he and Alec sought the peace of this place out more than ever. Pigeon Creek offered three options for date night: the small outdated theater, Raziel’s Steakhouse or a group hangout in the parking lot of the abandoned strip mall. But the Lightwood cabin was their secret fourth option. They spent many date nights in high school sitting on the dock, feet in the water, fingers linked between them and quiet conversation whispered in the night. Also a little bit of making out...okay, a lot of making out. They probably traumatized the surrounding wildlife on more than one occasion Magnus thinks cheekily. 

Their penchant for escaping here did not go unnoticed. Maryse and Robert knew of Alec’s fondness for the place, so when he and Magnus married right after high school, they graciously gave them the use of the cabin. H and Alec worked an entire week to make it their own, cleaning every surface, putting up new blinds, laying down rugs and moving in the table and bed that Alec built them. They couldn’t be bothered with the fact that most of their furnishings were secondhand, that they had to hit the microwave to make it work and there was a persistent musty smell. In terms of real estate value, it was of modest worth. In sentimental value, it might as well have been the Palace of Versailles. Their home. Their haven. On a nice evening, they would sit on the porch, mostly silent, listening to various cadences of nature. On cooler evenings, they’d curl around each other on the couch basking in the glow of the fireplace. The saying goes If walls could talk…but Magnus isn’t quite sure what story these particular walls would tell. Because while the rough log structure heard their greatest dreams, it ultimately played witness to their nightmarish end.

Magnus worries at his bottom lip and acknowledges both the joys and sadness of these memories. He gathers the courage to step out of the car to take a better look at his former home. While their relationship may have fallen to ruin, it was obvious the home in front of him had not. The bare log exterior has been painted deep forest green and shutters now frame the windows. The former crumbling stone chimney looks rebuilt, the metal roof has been replaced recently and the porches must have been recently re-stained and sealed. Alec has gone to great lengths to bring new life into his cherished place. 

A bark rings out in the open space and a black blur finds its way to Magnus’ side. “Shadow! Hey boy!” He bends to dote on the dog then does a half-turn toward the detached garage where the dog had emerged from and where Alec’s old pickup truck is parked. Magnus remembers him buying it right after graduation; it was old then. Now it’s practically ancient. How he managed to keep the brown monstrosity in working order another ten years was a mystery to Magnus. He supposes Alec is just stubborn like that. There’s shuffling and thumping coming from the garage as Magnus calls out, “Hello? Anyone home?”

Alec steps out of the dim garage and into the light of day. He’s pulling his dingy red shirt up to wipe the sweat from his forehead and in the process, exposes the dark hair on his chest which leads to his muscled stomach and even further t- _NO. No, no, no. Can’t go there. _Magnus reins in his train of thought, diverts his eyes and curses Alec Lightwood with his effortless toned body. Alec adjusts his damp shirt back down and looks quizzically at Magnus, “What are you doing here?” 

“I hope you don’t mind the interruption but I came to apologize. I acted childish last night and said some hurtful things. But I want you to know that I didn’t mean it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay here in Alabama. To build a life here. As long as it makes you happy, that’s all that matters. So I’m sorry if I made you feel that you were inferior because your choices are different from mine.”

Alec watches him warily for a moment like he can’t quite believe Magnus apologized so easily, before giving a sharp nod of his head. Taking that as a signal of semi-forgiveness, Magnus continues.

“And I should thank you as well...for getting me home last night. After I was a perfectly awful person, you still looked out for my well being. Thank you for that.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t have you wrap that pretty car around a tree. The insurance paperwork would have been a nightmare to deal with.”

Magnus smirks, “And here I thought you were worried about my pretty face.” Alec huffs a small laugh.

“So, what are you doing here?” Magnus attempts small talk not sure what to do now that the apology portion of this visit has concluded. 

“Cleaning out the garage. I don’t think the new owners would know what to do with half the tools in there.” 

“New owners? Wait. You sold the cabin?” Magnus gapes at him.

“Yeah. I mean I’ve been spending more time in Cooperstown lately, so it just made more sense…” Alec trails off. “Anyway, we close in a few weeks and I’ve vacated the house but emptying the garage is taking longer than I’d like.” Alec lets his head fall back in exhaustion.

“Wow. I don’t know what to say. I just can’t imagine you living anywhere else I guess. This was your favorite place.” Magnus says as he shuffles his feet and looks down. It was our favorite place goes unsaid. He has no claim to this place, but a part of him feels possessive of it. Some of his happiest memories are here, all of them of him and Alec. The thought of strangers moving in felt invasive and made his stomach squirm. While their own story has long since concluded, having the last physical marker of their relationship taken away made him ache just a bit. Now, the new owners would build their own life and fill the space with new own memories. And those of him and Alec would eventually just fade away. 

“Can I…”

Magnus looks up at the sound of Alec’s hesitation and quirked an eyebrow at him in question.

“Can I show you something?” Alec finishes, more confident this time as he nods his head toward his truck.

“I’m really shouldn’t. I have more stops to make today. I was an ass to quite a few people last night.”

“True. Or is it that you’re afraid to come with me? Because the boy I knew was fearless.” Alec challenges.

“They boy you knew had no life. No responsibilities. Following you was all he had.” Magnus says shaking his head. “I really do have things to do. Maybe another time.” Though he truly had plans for the day, his reasons for declining Alec’s offer extends beyond that. Jumping in Alec’s truck, driving off to an unknown location was too...familiar. It would be too much of what could have been and Magnus couldn’t find a single good reason to put them through that. 

“Yeah. Another time then.” Alec agrees.

By late afternoon, Magnus finds himself at the transformed town center. The festival has just opened for its first night and people were beginning to filter in. The roads have been barricaded, music is being played through speakers and lights have been strung between the buildings. The sounds of carnival games mix with the squeals of children. Vendors line the street and at the center of it all, a stage has been erected. A small child pushes past him dragging his mom toward the petting zoo area, she only has a quick second to send Magnus an apologetic look. Still wondering around, Magnus sees a booth selling hot chocolate, and even though Magnus’ preferred drink is either caffeine and liquor now, he makes a mental note to come back for old time's sake. He continues his apprehensive search through the growing crowd looking for three specific faces. This was the last, and probably most intimidating, stop on his apology tour.

“Magnus over here!”

He rises on his toes in the direction of the voice. From a picnic table several yards away, Izzy waves her hand attempting to get his attention. He shuffles toward them and slides on to the bench next to Jace, who is looking fiddling with the wrapper on his beer bottle. 

“Hello, darlings,” Magnus says with more enthusiasm than he feels but hoping to set a positive tone to this potentially disastrous meeting.

Jace scoffs, tilting his head to look at Magnus through the blonde hair half hiding his face, “Don’t you mean ‘Hello my mediocre friends’? Or was it poor and boring? I can’t quite remember.” His tone attempts sarcasm and mock offense but the hurt edging his bi-colored eyes is real.

Magnus winces. Izzy and Simon day nothing and Magnus glances in their direction but the faces watching him give nothing away. He stares down at the checkered tablecloth running his thumb along the pattern trying to say words worthy enough of forgiveness. “I am so sorry. I should never have said those things. I took my insecurities out on all of you and that was unfair and cruel. And I will apologize as many times as you deem necessary for last night..and also for what happened before.” He casts a look at his friends, “You should know that I have so much respect for each of you.” And it’s true. He learned enough the night before to know they’ve cultivated quiet but successful lives for themselves.

He shifts on the bench to angle himself toward Jace, addressing him first, “The fact that you and your brother have kept Robert and Maryse's store open and profitable, is impressive. I know firsthand the struggles of running a business and it’s no small feat, especially in a small town like this. Plus, the place looks great! I want the contact information for your designer.” Jace stares at him for a moment eyes roaming Magnus’ face like he’s looking for something specific. Magnus isn’t sure what, but he holds his gaze hoping Jace picks up on his sincerity. Finally, Jace exhales loudly, “Ugh. I forgot about Magnus Bane puppy eyes. Alec always complained about them, I just never thought they’d be used on me. Fine. You’re forgiven.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. You’re not the only one who’s had a drunken breakdown at the bar. I can’t hold that against you. Plus, if you give me Clary’s number, I promise to pretend it never happened.” he looks at Magnus boyishly hopeful.

“If Clary wants you to have her number, she is more than capable of providing it.” Magnus quips.

“Worth a shot,” Jace shrugs. “And Magnus, as for what happened before. Alec forgave you a long time ago. I think we all did.” He looks to Izzy and Simon for confirmation and they nod in consensus. 

Like with Maia yesterday, Magnus is humbled by his friends' readiness to forgive. “Thanks, Jace,” Magnus says with a half-smile. Jace gives one back in return before saying, “Oh, and the designer we used for the store? The company is Broken Arrow Co. You should look them up. They are local but looking to expand. I’m sure they’d love to feature their work in a fashionable New York boutique.”

“Broken Arrow Co,” Magnus repeats making a mental note. “Got it. Thanks.”

When Magnus turns to Isabelle, she is smirking. Magnus grins back, “Isabelle, there are contacts in my phone for many notable women in both politics and Hollywood. But you, my dear, will always hold the top spot for my favorite gorgeous, intelligent, badass woman. Seeing as you put yourself through med school while helping at the store and keeping your brothers in line? It only proves it. I have no doubt you’re amazing pathologist...even though I’ll never come to watch you poke at dead bodies to confirm it with my own eyes.” Izzy shakes her head while rolling her eyes but she’s smiling. “And I hope that you will forgive me for my behavior last night as well?”

“It’s already done, Magnus,” she says reaching across the table to pat his hand. 

Magnus looks to the last occupant of the table. “And Simon, I think I have more respect for you than anyone else at this table.” Simon raises his eyebrows at that, surprise written on his face. “The fact you persuaded Isabelle Lightwood to marry you? Bravo sir, bravo. All of my respect, truly.” Magnus slow claps for emphasis.

“Hey!” Simon yells straightening in his seat and throwing his arms out in mock offense.

Jace snorts in laughter and Izzy hides a smile behind one hand while reaching over to rub her husband’s back in comfort with the other. Simon gives them an evil glare but looks back at Magnus, “Yeah, okay. You might have a point. I may have wooed her with promises of nightly foot massages and to always do the household chores.” Now it’s Magnus’ turn to snort in amusement. He looks around the table at his friends, all three are smiling and Magnus feels a little less weight on his shoulders.

Izzy jumps up from the table, “Okay, now that Magnus acknowledges his role as last night’s Ultimate Jackass and has apologized, I say we find food. I’m starving.” Everyone cheers with agreement getting up to follow her lead. 

An hour later, Magnus stands with Izzy as they watch Jace and Simon in a heated competition at the dart balloon popping station. Izzy bumps his shoulders with hers drawing his attention down to her. He smiles but the look he receives in return is far too serious for their current activity. And Izzy bites at her bottom lip with apprehension. “Everything okay, my dear?”

“He came for you, you know.” she blurts out.

Magnus does not have to guess who she means. They mutually and unspokenly circumvented the topic of Alec all evening but Magnus has no doubt that’s exactly who Izzy refers to. He just doesn’t grasp exactly what she means. “I’m not sure I understand?”

“He went to New York. To find you. To apologize.” Izzy says slowly, deliberately, wanting Magnus to fully comprehend what she’s saying.

_Oh_.

Alec went to New York to find him. But he never showed up at Magnus’ door? It didn’t make sense.

“Izzy, are you sure? I never saw him. We never spoke. Nothing.”

“He didn’t tell us much when he got back. He only said that he needed more than an apology to win you back. And mumbled something about needing to conquer the world first - whatever that means.”

“When was this?” Magnus asks.

“A few months after you left. December?” She pauses then says, “Magnus, he never said it explicitly, but I think it’s why he always sent the divorce papers back. I think for a long time he hoped he could win you back. To be worthy of you.”

“Huh.” He realizes that’s the most ridiculous response to such a long-kept secret. However, it's the only response Magnus is capable of making at the moment. He just stares at Izzy blankly. There is just too much to unpackage from her confession and Magnus doesn’t even know where to begin. On that fateful night, Magnus had basically accused Alec of abandoning him in favor of his family. He’d been harsh and selfish...and Alec had still come for him. He left his responsibilities behind to seek Magnus out; to win him back. On one hand, after all these years, what does it matter? They’ve moved on. They have their separate lives now. But on the other hand, the What ifs? niggle at Magnus’ brain. What if Alec had found him? What if Alec stayed in New York with Magnus? Would Magnus still have found success? What would Alec have done? Would they be blissfully happy together still? What if Alec asked him to return with him to Alabama? Would Magnus have agreed? Would they have just fought again? What if, what if, what if. 

“I- wow. I don’t know what to say to that Isabelle.” he blinks and looks to her helplessly. Struggling to give her a response.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know. Alec never wanted us to mention it, but keeping that from you all these years seemed wrong to me. You have a right to know.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Izzy pulls him into a hug, “You’re welcome. Now, back to the current situation. Should we or should we not show those two losers how this game is done?”

Magnus grins evilly, “Oh, we definitely should.”

* * *

With a final grunt of effort, Alec lifts the last box out of the back of his truck and carries it into his new garage. Setting it down among the other boxes, he straightens and stretches, his muscles protesting at the moment. He closes the garage door and walks back to his truck. He stands debating for a moment, go home and eat dinner? Or maybe text Jace and see if he wants to grab a bite to eat in town? Opting for some brotherly company, he jumps back into his truck and reaches for his phone, previously thrown in the passenger seat. Several unread texts greet him when he unlocks his phone.

JACE [5:31pm]

Hey bro. You comin’ into town for the festival?

IZZY [5:39pm] 

Where are you? Join us at the festival! Everyone is here :)

SIMON [5:55pm]

Izzy said to text you and ask if you are coming into town?

IZZY [6:10pm]

Everyone is here but you. Stop working and down here. Love you!

JACE [6:11pm]

Clary just got here. Do you think Magnus would injure or maim me if I asked her out?

JACE [6:13pm]

It's probably a bad idea, right? I mean she *does* live hundreds of miles away. It's a waste of time, right? So, maybe I shouldn’t?

JACE [6:14pm]

But she is so pretty, Alec. And she laughs at my stupid jokes. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO ALEC.

MAIA [6:19pm]

Everyone is wondering where you are. It’s Magnus and Clary’s last night here. We have to give them a proper send-off. Don’t miss your opportunity to say goodbye.

SIMON [6:25pm]

Your beautiful, sweet and not at all scary sister asked me to find out where you are? She said quote “tell him to get his workaholic ass down here right now before I find him and kick his ass all the way back into town”

SIMON [6:26 PM]

Please don’t hurt the messenger.

JACE [6:32pm]

Magnus keeps giving me a look as I talk to Clary. Why are you not here to distract him?? Help a brother out!

IZZY [6:44pm]

ALEXANDER GIDEON LIGHTWOOD YOU BETTER BE ON YOUR WAY RIGHT NOW.

Ugh. His family is ridiculous Alec thinks. He checks the time. 6:47 pm. Not wanting to further test the wrath of his sister, Alec decides he better make an appearance. He quickly goes inside to change into a clean t-shirt, throwing a flannel button-up overtop. A few minutes later he’s back at his truck and opens the passenger door. He lets out a loud whistle and Shadow comes running from the woods. The dog immediately leaps in the vehicle. Alec climbs in the passenger side and gives his best friend a scratch on the ear, “Wanna go get a corndog buddy? You worked hard today, I think you’ve earned it.” Alec takes the lick the face as agreement and starts the truck.

An hour later he has finally joined his friends who immediately provided him a funnel cake and beer. Keeping his promise, Alec purchases a corndog for Shadow who inhales in two bites. Then the group walks around the festival perusing the booths and listening to the live band in the background, surrounded by friends and with Shadow meandering behind him obediently, Alec feels content, even with Magnus’ presence always hovering in his peripheral. Their earlier encounter had been stilted and awkward. Alec hated it, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He wished Magnus understood that there was very little Alec wouldn’t forgive him for. Magnus has always had this aura about him. This energy. You want to be with him because the energy he radiates alights every room he’s in and every person around him. Alec fell under that spell so many years ago. First claiming Magnus as his best friend in grade school, much to Jace’s jargon. In high school, Alec came to the revelation that his draw toward Magnus was no longer a friendly affection, but something deeper and more intimate. Alec used to proclaim that he found the love of his life at 10 years old. But what do 10-year-olds, even 18-year-olds know about life? They are blissfully unaware of the struggles and hard choices that steamroll over your romanticized view of the world and make you face the reality that life is not a fairytale. You can’t always will the universe to provide you with your desires. Alec knows, he has tried. Because those titles of “boyfriend” and “husband” may not apply to him and Magnus any longer. But that doesn’t dispute the fact that a part of Alec is still completely and utterly enraptured by the man standing several yards away. Logically, Alec knows there is nothing to salvage from their previous relationship, Magnus is getting married for fuck's sake. But Alec gave Magnus a piece of himself a long time ago, and never got it back. He never wanted to. 

“Hey, Jace! Is this the company you were talking about?”

Alec whips his head around at Magnus’ call, roused from his thoughts. His friends were currently checking out the local vendors selling everything from homemade soaps to boutique clothing to handcrafted furniture. Magnus and Clary are standing in front of a booth under the shelter of a large tent selling the latter. Jace catches up to Mangus with an amused look on his face.

“Yup. This is them. Broken Arrow Co. They provided all of the shelving, clothes racks, and chairs for the store when we renovated last year.”

“I think Luke’s kitchen table is from here,” Magnus says thoughtfully. Clary nods in agreement as the two begin to wander around the booth. Alec can’t stop his eyes from trailing Magnus as he walks among the furniture. He and Clary inspect a set of bookshelves and then take turns sitting on several bar stools, then _ooo_ and _ahh_ over a large desk positioned in the corner of the tent. Alec continues to stare as Magnus moves toward several coffee tables crafted with natural wood, blue resin, and metal. Magnus delicately drags his painted fingertips across the surface as he admires them. “These pieces are gorgeous! Seriously, the craftsmanship is exquisite. I wonder if they would consider doing a few customized pieces for our boutique?”

Looking over his shoulder, Jace finds Alec’s gaze his eyes alight with mirth. “Alec, Magnus here wants to know where he can get some of this fancy-ass furniture?”

“I don’t know. What are you asking me for?” deadpans back at his brother.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe becau- Ow! Izzy!” Jace flinches from the well-aimed slap to the back of his head by his sister.

Magnus stops admiring the furniture and looks at the Lightwood siblings, brows furrowed in confusion. “Have I missed something?”

From across the square, the band strikes up the first chords of a new song, one they all are infinitely familiar with. Alec has never been so thankful to hear his least favorite song. Simon pops up next to Izzy, “Let’s show some respect for our anthem folks.” He takes Izzy by the elbow guiding her toward the dance floor, both in giggles. Jace extends his hand toward Clary who just came out of the tent. She beams at him and accepts his hand. As they move toward the dance floor, Alec swears he sees a blush blooming across his overly confident brother’s face. Alec turns to ask Maia to dance, but she’s already gone. Alec twists around to scan the dance floor and finds her twirling around with Bat. Huh. He didn’t expect that. Before he can give it more thought, he becomes hyper-aware that it’s only him and Magnus left standing. 

The song is in full swing now and Alec grimaces a little. He’s always hated this song. It's just so _cliche _and overplayed. Magnus tried to change his mind by changing the lyrics once. Alec remembers Magnus singing loudly over the radio “Sweet Home Alexander!” at every chorus. It was ridiculous and didn’t change Alec’s distaste, but it was endearing nonetheless. With that, Alec steals himself and turns toward Magnus, “Would you lik-”

“I think I’m going to grab one of those hot chocolates. It’s getting a bit chilly out here, don’t you think? I’ll be right back.” Magnus gives him a forced smile and turns in the direction of the aforementioned booth. Alec watches him walk away trying very hard not to let his disappointment show. 

Before a mellow mood can completely wash over him, someone tugs on his arm.“There you are! Dance with me!”

Alec is helpless against Aline’s enthusiasm and allows her to drag him to the dance floor. The rest of the evening is spent dancing with his friends, spinning Maia, then Izzy and even Clary around under the lights. Magnus joins in at some point and Alec sees him trying to give Simon dancing lessons but mostly they are tripping and falling over each other, laughing hysterically. 

The night is winding down, the crowd thinning as Alec sits at a table finishing off a last round of drinks with Jace, Simon, and Helen. Over Simon’s shoulder, he sees Magnus in the distance leaving the festival. Because of the direction he is going, Alec has a pretty good idea of what Magnus’ destination is. Alec stands from the table telling, asks Jace to watch Shadow for him and bids everyone goodnight. Then he follows Magnus out of the soft glow and festive atmosphere of the town square.

A short walk later, Alec finds himself at the gate of Pigeon Creek’s cemetery. He hears the murmur of Magnus’s voice drifting through the eerily quiet air. Alec knows exactly who Magnus is talking to so he doesn’t approach, not yet. But he can’t help but catch some of what the man was saying.

“I’ve been pretty selfish lately.” Magnus sniffs. “I just left you here. Alone.”

The guilt is so heavy in Magnus’ tone Alec feels the weight of it in his chest. He decides to make his presence known and approaches Magnus who is kneeled in front of a gravestone.

“I told her it was my fault that you were no longer around.” Alec lets out gently, trying not to startle him.

Magnus closes his eyes against the tears Alec can see shining on his cheeks. He doesn’t open them as he speaks to Alec, “Don’t say that.” His breaks.

“It’s true though.” Alec has always felt responsible for how their relationship ended. He has a whole list of things he could have done differently. Regardless, he apologized to Mrs. Bane on more than one occasion for driving her son away. He’s never been sure of her forgiveness though.

Magnus speaks again in an almost whisper, “Why does this have to be so complicated.”

“What?”

“Life.” Magnus sighs out. 

Not sure how to answer that complex question, Alec shares an observation he made this evening, “You looked pretty happy out there tonight.”

Magnus finally stands up from the grave and moves to sit on a nearby bench. Alec follows, taking a seat next to him. Magnus slumps forward with his forearms resting on his thighs. He tilts his head to the side to look at Alec. “I’m happy in New York, Alec.”

“I know.” And he did. It was a fact Alec accepted a long time ago after seeing it firsthand for himself. For weeks after his visit to New York, he’d loathed the city that brought a smile to his husband’s face - one he hadn’t seen in a very long while.

“But I come down here..and this fits too,” Magnus admits quietly like it’s the worst kind of confession. “I don’t know what to do.” he sighs.

“It doesn’t have to be one or the other Magnus. You can have both roots and wings, you know.” Alec reassures him gently. Because it’s true. There was a time when Alec would have insisted that Magnus belonged here in Alabama with him. That this was his home, not that overcrowded, polluted city. But Alec knows better now. He stares out across the cemetery unable to look at Magnus as he confesses, “Spending time with you was always an adventure. Never a dull moment. But I realize now if you’d have stayed here with me like I had begged, it would have been your only adventure. And you deserved so much more than what this place, what I could offer. You deserve the world, Magnus. And the world deserves you. I was selfish to try and keep you all to myself.”

Magnus takes a deep breath and turns toward Alec, “When I got that acceptance letter from the Institute, I could see this whole new world of possibilities. This whole new life. Things here were bad and I just...ran.” Alec shifts his body on the bench so he’s now facing Magnus as well. He can see moisture gathering along the edge of the black lined eyes boring into him. Magnus whispers, “I am so sorry Alec. I’m sorry for leaving. It’s a long-overdue apology but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Alec has always considered himself a strong-willed person, able to keep his emotions in check and school his features to give nothing away. But in this moment, sitting on the hard bench surrounded by hundreds of reminders that life is short, Alec is completely and utterly weak. The tears shining in Magnus’ dark brown eyes, his face open and vulnerable and his voice thick with guilt tears at every fiber of self-control Alec possesses. So he finds himself leaning forward toward the man who still carries a part of his heart. 

Magnus must have moved toward him as well because the next thing Alec is aware of are his lips pressed against Magnus’. It’s not the most skilled kiss they have shared. Shock seems to be running through both of them. This is actually happening. He’s _kissing Magnus_. Alec shuts off the growing panic and allows himself to get lost in the softness of Magnus’ lips. He runs his tongue along them both tasting and silently asking for more. Magnus pulls back just a little, foreheads resting against each other, brushes their lips lightly once more. Then they are diving back into the kiss, this time with more heat and determination. Magnus now has a firm hold on Alec’s open flannel shirt, hauling him closer. Alec finds his hands on Magnus’s neck helping to close the distance. Their tongues explore as they re-learn the taste of each other. Magnus tastes like chocolate and cinnamon and Alec wants to devour him. Instead, he settles for softly biting Magnus' lower lip, earning a low groan from the other man. Alec smiles into the kiss becoming dizzy with want. He can’t help but think that ten years is too long to be deprived of kissing Magnus. He’s not sure how he survived all these years without kissing his husband...

Ex-husband.

Magnus is his ex-husband now. And he’s getting married to a woman that’s patiently waiting for him to come home, blissfully unaware that Alec’s making out with her fiancé. 

It’s like participating in one of those polar plunges into a frozen lake, the way cold dowses Alec’s body. Sucking in a sharp breath, Alec jolts back like he’s been electrocuted. He jerks his hands back and away from where they’d been cupping Magnus' face. Both men stare at each other for a few moments, only the sound of cicadas filling the silence. At first, Magnus seems dumbfounded by Alec’s abrupt stop. It only takes a few beats before the realization dawns across his face and he’s left gaping at Alec. His lips start to form words, but Alec doesn’t even want to know what he’s going to say. Because nothing will make this okay. And even if Magnus reciprocated, Alec knows he was the one that wanted this. He leaned first. And he hates himself for putting them both in this position. So he does what Alec Lightwood does best, he crawls back into his protective walls and shuts down. His now swollen, red lips press into a firm line, he blinks away the storm of emotion he knows is broadcasting through his eyes and straightens his back, going almost rigid. Then he calmly addresses the man still sitting so close to him on the hard cold bench,

“Go home, Magnus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus’ childhood address,1065 Fish Pond Road, was an address I made up but decided to Google to see if it existed...AND IT DID. But the crazy part...it is in ALEXANDER City, ALABAMA. WTF you guys? HOW? Obviously I had to keep it. So apologies to the people that live there lol. Thanks for unknowingly loaning it to me 😬
> 
> Kudos and comments make my week! 🥰


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end! Only a chapter or two left. Thank you for reading!
> 
> As always, use #SweetHomefic on social media. 
> 
> And feel free to follow me on Twitter (@dani_dabbles) or Tumblr (@honest-malec).

_ Go home, Magnus. _

In the silence of the kitchen, the unspoken words reverberate off the walls. Magnus sits in rumbled sweatpants and an old hoodie at the center island of the kitchen, where he has been for over an hour. The rest of the house sleeps, everything quiet and still, only the faint ticking of a clock keeps him company. However, Magnus can’t help but notice the silence of his surroundings is in complete opposition to the clamor of thoughts in his head. His brain is a jumble of contradicting thoughts, confusing memories, and unchecked emotions. Needless to say, sleep eluded him. Which is fine, he did not welcome it anyway. When he’d drudged back to Luke’s after the incident in the cemetery, Magnus wanted nothing more than to fall into a deep sleep. But the second he allowed his eyes to fall shut, he was immediately back on the bench with Alec. And he knew the events in the cemetery had given his subconscious enough dream content for months to come. Or maybe its fuel for nightmares? Magnus doesn’t know. Just like he’s unsure if Alec kissed him. Or he kissed Alec.

He’d been trying to keep a polite distance and platonic boundary between them the previous day. First at the cabin, then later while walking around the festival. When the dancing started, Magnus could see Alec was about to ask him something - possibly to dance - so he’d found a reason to excuse himself. He had wanted to stay and blamed the festival with its stupid band and stupid dance floor and stupid whimsical lighting for almost making him weakwilled. It was like being on the set of a freakin romantic comedy movie. And later watching Alec out there dancing with their friends and laughing brightly? Magnus had wanted to be near him so much it terrified him. He’d finally decided to remove himself completely and made his way to the one other person hadn’t visited yet and find some peace in her company.

Magnus misses his mom so much. Every day he feels her absence. He had hoped that if he sat with her he would feel it a little less, just for a while. It only took a simple “Hi Mom” for the floodgates to give and the emotions to flood over him. And then Alec was there unexpectedly, being sweet and consoling. When Alec had mentioned having roots and wings, Magnus felt relieved of a burden he had no idea he was carrying. He’d spent the last 10 years putting as much distance and designer wear between himself and his hometown, convinced the two pieces of his life would never coordinate. Yet, there was Alec, who had every reason to drive Magnus out of town and never want to see him again, telling him it was okay to want to belong to both places. 

Slumped against the smooth, cold gray countertop, and nursing his second cup of coffee, Magnus wishes he could scrub the incident from his mind, to cleanse his memory of how soft and gentle Alec’s lips had been against his. How, at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to pull himself into Alec’s lap and kiss him like they were sixteen again. To go back to when life wasn’t complicated, when they hadn’t broken each other’s hearts and they could just be. Before their kiss, Magnus thought they could be friends again; that maybe they could come to a tentative truce and eventual peace with their shared history. But after the kiss, Magnus was pretty sure that was an utterly impossible ideal.

Magnus knew he held some lingering feelings for Alec, he will admit a part of him will always love Alec. How can he not? Alec was a huge part of his life. As best friends, boyfriends, and finally as husbands, they shared so many firsts. Alec was his first kiss - tentative and sloppy as they sat on the damned dock. He’d been all of Magnus’ sexual firsts from purchasing condoms, to fumbled handjobs, to uncoordinated and less than stellar first-time sex. Alec was his first marriage too. And Magnus wouldn’t let its disastrous end diminish the blissfulness those first few months had been. 

Magnus left Alabama, not because he didn’t love Alec, but because he needed the chance to love himself. After his departure, he never expected Alec to forgive him or to continue to love him. How could he? So sitting in the sun-drenched kitchen, Magnus struggles with the revelation that the feeling is mutual. Until last night, he thought Alec only felt anger and annoyance toward him. Now, Magnus realizes the anger and annoyance Alec expressed were directed at Alec himself, because Alec still loves Magnus too. 

But he cannot forget the look on Alec’s face when they’d abruptly pulled apart. In any other situation, Magnus may have been offended for how quickly Alec’s expression went from lustful to horrified. But he’s pretty sure his face mirrored the same sentiments. Because it’s one thing to know you still hold feelings but completely different to find those same feelings in the other person as well. 

Magnus pushes his cup away and pillows his head in his arms. All morning Magnus has been torturing himself with one question: What now? He thinks maybe their feelings can be chalked up to nostalgia for what they once were. A pull toward the familiarity and safety they provided each other. A shared bond over all those first experiences. Add in the fact that they never really got closure from their relationship, and Magnus can see why emotions linger. But even if he and Alec still have feelings for each other, they have barely tolerated one another the past few days. Both still nurse wounds that are easily torn open by their proximity. Everything between them is complicated, messy and raw. No steady ground exists between them to build a solid foundation for any future relationship, even a platonic one. 

Thinking himself in circles over his relationship, or lack of, with Alec, has Magnus feeling ill. Analyzing their every interaction, every word spoken between them this week and trying to put it in context of how they feel for each other is a tilt-a-whirl ride Magnus desperately want to disembark. 

And then Magnus thinks of Dorthea. The fact he’s entertained the idea of a future with Alec has guilt twisting his stomach until he feels like he could throw up all over Maia’s pristine kitchen. Those thoughts are not fair to Dot. They are engaged. And he loves Dot, he does. They’re building a life together. They are good together, compatible and like-minded. 

If someone asked Magnus to describe the perfect woman, Dot Rollins would be his vision in flesh. Educated, beautiful, elegant, and compassionate; Dot was everything a New York socialite should be. And even though she grew up among the city’s elite, Dot used her wealth and influence to do good. Magnus met her 3 years ago at a fundraising fashion show and auction to benefit a local youth center. What Magnus had thought would be a quick exchange of pleasantries when he met Dot, turned into an unexpected evening of companionable, fun conversation. Which then led to a date the following evening and a relationship a few weeks later. And now this wonderful woman had agreed to marry him.

Dot doesn’t deserve to have a fiance haunted by his past relationship. She and Magnus deserve a clean slate for their future, that’s why he came down here in the first place - to put all this behind him. So that’s what he is going to do. Again, he thinks of Alec’s last words, _ Go home Magnus. _ And Magnus has to agree with him. He needs to go home to his life in New York and Dot. He and Alec are officially divorced now. They need the distance between them to finally allow their wounds to heal, scar and eventually fade. It’s only fair to both of them. 

Resolute, Magnus straightens in his seat, picks up his phone from where he’d tossed it on the countertop earlier and starts typing.

A few minutes later he’s about to head upstairs to find his wallet when he hears Clary and Maia coming down. They walk into the kitchen, Clary in a silk robe, pajama pants, and her signature messy bun; Maia in leggings and an old high school tee-shirt; both chatting with the familiarity of lifelong friends. At first, Magnus had brought Clary to be a sort of life preserver, to have someone who’d pull him to safety if the weight of his old life tried to pull him down, overwhelm and drown him. But she quickly became more of an experiment. A small test to see if his two lives might one day merge and peacefully coexist. As she and Maia laugh, their backs to him while making their morning coffee, Magnus sees a small beginning of that future. He might need the distance from Alec, but that doesn’t mean he’s letting everyone go again.

“So what are you doing down here so early?” Maia asks as she turns around to face him, leaning back on the counter and sipping lightly from her mug. At the same time, Clary turns to lean forward on the island, stirring the hefty amount of cream and sugar in her coffee and notices Magnus’ phone. 

“Are you buying plane tickets? I thought we were leaving Sunday?” she questions.

Magnus picks his cup up and gulps the last of its now cold contents before answering, “Yes, well, I was thinking that I should get back. Lily’s handled everything single-handedly this week, so I’d like to give her the weekend off. Plus, I’d like to get started on that Hilton commission.”

Magnus hopes Clary will accept his reasoning. They’d been gone two days longer than originally planned anyway. They really should get back and relieve Lily from her duties for a few days. But as Clary narrows her eyes at him, he knows she isn’t fooled but his logic.

“What happened Magnus? Why do you look eager to flee?” the redhead interrogates, standing straight and crossing her arms expectantly.

Best to rip off the bandaid…

“Alec and I kissed last night,” he confesses and ducks his head before peeking back up at the girls’ faces.

Clary’s mouth hangs open, eyes wide with surprise before she is reaching across the countertop to swat at him. “Magnus! Why did you not wake me with this bombshell news story when you got back last night?”

He shrugs and looks to Maia. 

She, on the other hand, continues to sip her coffee and dares to smirk at him over its rim.

Magnus gives her a withering look in return but looks down fiddling with his mug trying to calm his anxiety. “Look. It just...happened. I don’t want to make a big deal of it. We both quickly realized our mistake and went our separate ways. But I think it best to get back to New York. It would be in everyone’s best interest. I’m not sure I’m up for two more days of awkward encounters or worse, avoidance.”

Maia finally speaks, “But-“

“No Maia. Please. I don’t want to examine this any further. I’ve been down here overthinking since dawn. There is nothing to gain from what happened, only more hurt to inflict upon each other. We’re divorced now and I think we both need time to heal and adjust to life without our estranged marriage hanging over our heads.”

Her dark eyes consider him for a few moments, “Okay. I won’t say anything then. If this is what you need, what he needs, then I guess I have to respect that.”

“Thank you,” he responds with a sad smile. “And I don’t want you to think I’m running away. I can’t - won’t - abandon all of you again. A ten-year absence from your lives can’t be remedied in five days. I miss you. So, I was thinking that if the plantation could spare you and Luke for a few days in December, I’d love to show you how New York City does Christmas?”

“Really?” Maia grins widely like she’s been offered the best gift.

“Of course. And I’d like to reserve a room here, two if Clary wants to tag along, for Easter weekend in the spring.”

“Oh, I think we can manage that,” Maia winks.

Magnus winks back but feels himself become morose, “I should probably call him, at least, right? Before I leave?”

Maia nods solemnly and looks down at her mug, “Yeah, you probably should.” 

“I don’t even know what to say,” Magnus admits dejectedly. 

Maia abandons her place on the other side of the island, comes around to Magnus still sits on the stool and pulls him in for a hug. “Tell him what you told me. If space and time are what you need then you have a right to ask for it. And maybe he feels the same.”

“Thank you.” He whispers. Maia tucks her face into his shoulder and nods, “You’re welcome.”

She pulls back and runs her hands across his shoulders, smoothing the fabric of his hoodie. “Okay, but if you’re leaving today, you have to go out to the field and tell Luke goodbye. He won’t forgive you otherwise. Then I’m stuck listening to him grumble until Christmas. Plus, you’ll get to catch part of the re-enactment.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you are spared.”

Magnus turns to address Clary, “We best get started packing Biscuit.”

“I only have one question.” Clary finally speaks up.

Hesitantly, Magnus prompts, “Yes?”

“What does one wear to a civil war reenactment?”

* * *

_ Go home, Magnus. _

Yep, Alec Lightwood is pretty sure he’s an idiot. At least that’s the consensus following last night’s cemetery makeout. After tossing and turning all night pained by what had happened and how he’d reacted, Alec called Izzy first thing. She, in turn, pulled Simon over to the phone and conference called Jace. All of them confirmed - Alec is an idiot. After berating him for kissing his ex, they further condemned him for practically pushing Magnus out of town. _ Why is it when things get tough or awkward, you two insist on pushing each other away? Why Alec? WHY?? _ In Alec’s defense, he panicked. Because Magnus’ lips had been on his and it was everything he’d wanted for the last ten years - but the circumstances were all wrong. They weren’t supposed to be divorced. Magnus certainly wasn’t supposed to be engaged. And there wasn’t supposed to be an innocent woman unknowingly being betrayed by him kissing Magnus. But this was the current situation he found himself in. Izzy had railed at him a bit longer before firmly instructing him to talk to Magnus before he flew out on Sunday. _ Fix this Alec. Don’t let it fester for another ten years. Make sure you two are on the same page as far as your relationship moving forward. _

With Izzy’s words hanging over him, Alec finds himself driving to the Garroway Plantation Friday afternoon. Nerves have him drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and wondering if he should have called first. Maybe Magnus won’t even be there and he can delay this uncomfortable confrontation for another day. Because what the hell is he supposed to say? He will apologize, obviously. What happened was inappropriate, to say the least. Kissing him was never a part of Alec’s plan when he followed him to the cemetery. But then, Magnus reciprocated which even now left Alec feeling baffled. Did he feel the same way Alec did? Was it only an impulsive reflex? Did Magnus realize Alec’s true feelings now? And if Magnus still harbors feelings for him, what does that mean for them? Was there something to salvage between them? 

Even as he thought it, Alec knew it was absurd. Magnus was still an engaged man and Alec has no desire to be a homewrecker. The idea was ludicrous. Alec didn’t want to waste time teasing himself with the unattainable prospect of them getting back together. He stopped hoping for that a few years ago. But he also knew he didn’t want to endure another ten years of icy, hostile silence between them. 

So friendship then? They’d been friends before, best friends. Though the idea of being friends with Magnus now doesn’t sit well in Alec’s gut. Could he standby and see Magnus visit with a wife by his side and maybe, eventually, children in their arms? The visions leave Alec feeling ill and gripping the steering wheel tighter. So where does that leave them?

Alec tries to work out exactly what he wants to say to help guide them into some sort of mutual understanding. Practicing his speech, he talks out loud to himself in the quiet cab of the truck as Shadow considers him, head cocked to the side and looking wholly unimpressed by his speech. Alec looks at him wryly, “Oh yeah? So you think you can do better?” The canine only sniffs and turns so he can stick his head out the window. Alec scoffs, “You’re no help.”

He turns onto the gravel lane up to the house, round the circular drive and comes to a stop next to a white sports car also sitting in front of the plantation. Alec jumps out and Shadow follows before he slams the door close walking around his truck toward the house. At the same time, he notices a woman about to get out of the car. Alec steps over and finishes opening the driver's side door for her and extends his hand to help her out, which she accepts. The woman gracefully slides out, stands up on sky-high nude heels and smoothes out her long-sleeved peach-colored dress. Everything from the car to her clothes to the handbag she holds, screams money and Alec withholds an eye roll. He’s met plenty of the bride-to-be's that make up Maia’s clientele. Most of them are spoiled rich girls, ready to spend Daddy’s money on their dream wedding. How Maia tolerates them for months on end mystifies Alec. She turns her face up to him and gives him a blinding smile, “Why, thank you…?”

Alec gives her a charming smile in return, “Alec. And it's no problem.” 

“Well thank you, Alec. I’m Dot.” She offers to shake his hand and he accepts. Dot then points to the home and asks, “This is the Garroway Plantation correct?”

“Sure is. Let me take you inside.” He turns to the dog standing next to him, “Go play Shadow.” The dog bounds off across the yard in seek of mischief.

Alec gestures for Dot to go first and they ascend the stairs to the plantation. He ushers the woman into the front door and pauses in the entry. Alec motions to the armchairs, “If you want to have a seat, I can find Maia for you. I’m sure she’s expecting you.”

The woman looks from the chairs and back to Alec, brows pinched, “Maia? Um, no. Actually-?”

The squeaking hinges of the swinging kitchen door down the hall snatch both of their attention. Maia startles a bit at the unexpected guests standing just inside the front door. She approaches with a polite smile on her face. “Hey, Alec. I didn’t hear you come in.” The two exchange a quick side hug and Maia turns toward the woman standing with them. “Who do you have with you today?”

Before Alec can clarify that he thought she was here for Maia, Dot pipes up, “Oh no. I’m not here with him. We just met in the driveway and he was kind enough to let me in. My name is Dot - Dorothea - Rollins. I’m looking for Magnus Garroway? Is he home?” Her eyes dart around the grand space like she expects Magnus to magically emerge. When she catches the other two staring at her, she blushes. “I'm his fiance. Since he was delayed in returning to New York, I thought I'd come here and surprise him." 

Alec almost staggers back. Magnus’ fiance is here. Standing right in front of him. Holy Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. And wait, Magnus _ Garroway _? Alec is reeling as he tries to process what the hell is happening.

He does not have a speech prepared for this scenario.

"Are-are you two related to Magnus?" Dot asks hesitantly like she just now realizing she has no clue why these two people would be standing in her fiance's home.

Alec looks to Maia with thinly veiled panic creeping across his features and manages to choke out, “Of course! Yes. He’s uh, um...my cousin!” Alec blurts out. Maia shoots him a _what the hell?_ look but schools her features back quickly enough that Dot doesn’t catch it. What can he say? Magnus hasn’t disclosed any details about her to Alec, so he figures the reverse is probably true and she knows little to nothing about him as well. There is a small iota of his inner self that would take satisfaction in dropping that particular news, but luckily it’s very, very small. 

Maia shakes off the shock and goes to shake the woman’s hand, “I’m Maia, another cousin of Magnus'. It’s so good to finally meet you. We’ve heard so much about you.”

The ladies shake hands then let their arms fall to their sides and awkwardness descends on their little trio. Dot adjusts the strap of her handbag and shifts on her feet before hesitantly prompting, “So...is Magnus here?”

“You just missed him. The plantation is hosting a Civil War reenactment this weekend and Magnus has gone out to the battlefield to watch,” Maia points behind vaguely behind in the general direction of the fields behind the house. “You’re welcome to go out there. But you’ll need to drive, it's on the other side of the estate.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I can do that.” 

Alec’s mouth is moving before his brain can process what a terrible offer he’s about to make, “I can take you if you want? My truck would be more appropriate to drive over there than the car you have parked outside.” 

Dot gives him an appreciative smile and relaxes a bit, “That would be very much appreciated.”

The pair head back out of the house, Dot once again going first at Alec’s insistence. Before exiting, Alec turns back to Maia and shrugs. Maia, in return, gives him a weak thumbs up. 

* * *

The mock battlefield is around on the other side of the thousand-acre estate, about a fifteen-minute drive from the house. Driving down a narrow country lane, Alec wonders what in his thirty years of life he did for karma to put him in this situation. Dot sits at ease in the passenger seat but the conversation is stilted. Attempting to keep an uncomfortable silence at bay, Alec had asked Dot what she did for a living, leading her to explain how she works as a campaign organizer for her father. But the woman truly lights up as she segways into discussing her charitable causes and philanthropist endeavors. In return, Alec talks about _ Lightwood Sports _ and a few things about his family. Through the small talk, Alec tries to wrap his head around the fact that that he’s sharing a space with the future wife of the man he still loves. 

He studies her through furtive side glances. He's helpless to avoid making comparisons between himself and the woman Magnus has chosen to marry. She’s petite with caramel skin and thick dark hair framing a kind, open face. She has soft, alluring brown eyes and a mouth that smiles abundantly. In comparison, Alec has messy hair, pale skin that burns more than it tans and a mouth set in a permanent scowl - which Izzy calls his “resting bitch face.” Dot’s designer dress accentuates a toned figure and she holds herself with poise, just like Magnus. Alec, on the other hand, is wearing worn denim pants with a torn pocket. His favorite grey henley fits nicely but is accented with more than one stain - most likely pizza grease. Much to Alec’s dismay, Dot radiates sophistication and class, not the spoiled brat vibe he originally expected after their first encounter.

So while Dot does absolutely nothing for Alec, he can’t deny that she’s made a good first impression. And Alec suspects she is a lovely person. He sees why Magnus would be attracted to her. His heart squeezes painfully as he envisions what a stunning couple they must make: two glamorous people with wealth, beauty and influence. Picture fucking perfect.

The road becomes a bit bumpier and the jostling of the truck rouses Alec before his demons of insecurity can further drag him down. He directs his thoughts back into the conversation, the image of her and Magnus together still lingering in his mind. “So how did you and Magnus meet?” He internally rolls his eyes at himself at the cliche question but he can't help but feed his curiosity. 

Dot smiles softly, “A few years ago, I attended a fundraising fashion show. Magnus was still relatively new to the scene but I’d heard of his work. And when I saw his gown come down the runway, a vision of tulle and intricate beading, I knew I had to have it. After I won the bid, Magnus came over to introduce himself and thanked me. As much as I was entranced by the gown, the man behind it was even more fascinating. I selfishly commandeered his attention for the rest of the evening. He was just so interesting to talk to. He had this ability to make you feel like the most important person in the room; he still does actually. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long to realize I wanted to see him again. By some miracle, he felt the same way and the following night he took me out for sushi then dancing. It was the best first date, honestly. Magnus is so charming and charismatic, I imagine it would be hard to find a soul on this planet that wouldn't love him. Anyway, after that first date, I guess you can say the rest is history.” She shrugs at the end of her story but her face is flushed pink by her sincerity.

Fondness and affection soak her words and Alec feels a weird sort of understanding with the woman. He’s one hundred percent certain he’s sounded just as besotted when talking about Magnus at some point. The man just has that effect on people. They are both victims, drawn in and helplessly trapped by this natural spark he possesses. 

Dot continues, “I can’t believe we are getting married. It just feels _right_, like everything is falling into place.” She sighs happily, then laughs at herself. “I’m sorry. This is probably awkward for you, listening to me gush about your cousin. As payback, feel free to rhapsodize about any love in your life. I’m all ears. It’s only fair and it would make me feel a little less embarrassed.”

Crap. 

“Oh no, uh, there’s no one at the moment. I mean, I’m not currently in a relationship. So no rhapsodizing from me.” Alec stutters out and before he can stop himself he spouts out, “I mean there was _ someone _. A long time ago. He was my first love, you know? High school sweethearts and all that cliche stuff. But since that ended, there hasn’t been anyone else who can measure up.”

“Aw. I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened, if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve been through a few rough breakups myself. I can sympathize.”

Alec huffs out a self-deprecating laugh, “He left to follow his dreams. And I’m proud of him for that. It was a brave move. He wouldn’t have been the person I loved it he didn’t do the stupid, risky thing. There are a lot of stories from our childhood to prove that too. I don’t know...I guess a part of me always knew he could do better and was just waiting for him to realize it.” Alec shifts his eyes from the road to Dot, flicking over her and then holding her gaze, “In the end, I think he finally did. And believe it or not, I’m happy for him.”

Dot blinks at him and Alec fears for a moment that he was too transparent, that he might have revealed too much. But Dot gives him a sweet, genuine smile, “I don’t know Alec, I’ve known you…” she glances down at her rose gold watch, “approximately 45 minutes and I think you’re pretty great. I’d say it's his loss.”

Alec shakes his head embarrassed instead of giving a verbal response. Why does she have to be so nice and kind? Everything would be so much easier if she was an evil bitch. But of course, leave it to Magnus to find someone Alec likes - robbing him of the right to feel smug that his ex settled for less.

The truck crest over the top of a hill. Beyond they see another hill with tents, campfires, and people dotting its landscape. A parking lot sits at the base of the battlefield and Alec stops the truck there. The sound of cannon fire and muskets fill the air along with the cries of the “dead”. Alec offers a hand to help Dot navigate the grassy path in her heels as they make way toward the roped-off spectator section. 

Both survey the small crowd for Magnus.

Dot is the first to spot him and points him out to Alec. They wade through the people, Dot picking up her pace in anticipation. Alec takes in Magnus, sporting a green military-style jacket with detailing on the shoulders, black fingerless gloves and hair perfectly coiffed, unaffected by the autumn breeze ruffling everyone else around him. Clary stands next to him wrapped in a trench coat and boots, hair whipping around her face. Alec allows himself to linger a few strides behind Dorothea, none too eager to witness their reunion. 

Even from a distance, he sees the moment Magnus registers their presence, mouth dropping open and eyebrows meeting his hairline. Clary too looks shocked at their unexpected appearance. Dot reaches Magnus and wraps her arms around his neck. His arms wrap around her waist, his lips press a kiss to her temple but his eyes find Alec over her shoulder. Alec withholds a wince at the small intimate gestures and closes the final distance to hear Magnus asking, “Dot! What are you doing here?”

Dot pulls back slightly, smoothing her hands down Magnus’ chest, “I came to surprise you, Mags! Are you not excited to see me?”

Magnus is quick to reply, “No, of course, I’m excited to see you. It’s just that I had planned to surprise you by returning tonight.”

The snippet of information catches Alec’s attention. Magnus was leaving today. Was he that upset with Alec over last night? Was he going to tell Alec he was leaving or was he going to depart without a word? And what the hell was up with Dot referring to him as Magnus Garroway? Alec hadn’t forgotten that detail from earlier either. Lost in his despairing thoughts, Alec tunes back into the conversation in front of him.

“- it's beautiful, your home. I got a glimpse before your cousin offered me a ride out here to see you.”

Magnus snaps his head to Alec still standing a few feet away. “My cousin? Alec’s not my cousin.”

Dot steps back to look between Magnus and Alec, possibly sensing the growing tension, uncertainty morphing across her face.

With the ruse disintegrating as quickly as Alec crafted it, he shrugs, “I panicked. I have no clue who I am to _Magnus_ _Garroway_.” Magnus sucks in a breath and Alec trains a challenging look on him. Standing among tourists on a windy hill is not the place for this conversation, especially not with Dot right there. But with Magnus’ possibly imminent departure, Alec’s not sure there will be another time. And he needs to say this.

Alec looks guiltily at Dot. “You and I? We are in love with two _very_ different people. The man I love left ten years ago and apparently became someone new.” He closes his eyes before opening them to find Magnus watching him with equal guilt. “I think I’m finally ready to let Magnus Bane go though. No use holding onto someone that no longer exists.” Alec breathes out. “I wish you the best, Magnus. She’s lovely. I like her.”

“Alec...” Magnus takes a step toward him.

Alec raises his hands in surrender. “No, it's fine. Really. And hey, make sure you come back occasionally to visit everyone, okay? They miss you. Izzy and Maia especially. And since I don’t technically live in Pigeon Creek, you should be able to come back without fear of seeing me. It'll be easier to keep my distance for a while at least. I hope you can understand that.”

“You don’t ha-” Magnus starts. Alec bites his lower lip, shakes his head as he backs away. He needs to leave before he falls apart, humiliating himself further. 

* * *

Magnus gapes as Alec walks away, the man’s posture is so slumped he’s practically folding in on himself. 

Just a few minutes ago, he and Clary had been contently watching the scene on the hill. Now, Magnus is scrambling to figure out how everything went to shit so quickly. He’s faced with the reality that Dot is here and _has met Alec_. Two pieces of his life he’d tried to protect from each other now thrown together regardless of the caution he took. His heart gives a painful thump recalling Alec’s words. Magnus was going to ask Alec for some distance so they could heal. Now, Alec has given it to him without prompting. 

Instead of relief, Magnus feels a hole opening in his chest. A void. 

“What the was that?” Dot demands pulling him back to the present. She’s gesturing between Magnus and Alec’s receding figure. An angry fire is growing in her brown eyes. “If you’re not cousins, then who the hell is he to you?”

Magnus crosses his arms over his chest trying to hold himself together as everything else unravels around him. His body is tight with tension. He speaks to the grass beneath his boots, “He’s my husband. Or he was until recently.”

“What!? Are you kidding me? Magnus!” Dot cries taking a step away from her fiance. Magnus tries to reach for her but she recoils from his touch. 

“I’m sorry Dot. I should have told you. Parts of my past are not...pretty or pleasant. This,” he motions to the scene around them, “isn’t me anymore. I’m not the same person I used to be. So, I didn’t think any of this mattered to our future.”

“Well, apparently I don’t know who you are Magnus... Bane? So, I don’t know what to think.” Dot spits out. Her lips quiver as tears fall. “ But I do think I need some time. Please don’t follow me.” She turns abruptly, marching down the path with feigned confidence. A few people in the crowd watch her go before training their eyes on him.

Magnus stands motionless and oblivious to the looks, instead, he stares vacantly in the direction Alec and Dot retreated. He senses Clary approach from the respectable distance she’d kept during the confrontation. Wordlessly her arms slide across his shoulders pulling him into her, even if he has to lean down into her reassuring hold. But it’s hard to feel comforted when a piece of his heart just left, possibly forever. The pair stand there for a long while, Magnus straining to keep himself upright as grief descends on him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *opens door to AO3*  
Anyone still here? Hello?!
> 
> So..yeah. It's been a bit, hasn't it? Sorry about that. While others were participating in NaNoWriMo, I was participating in No Write November. Not really sure where my motivation went, but it wasn't with me. But I'm back with Chapter 8 and let me tell you this has given me fits trying to write. I'm not very confident in it honestly. But I'd love to hear what you think. There will definitely be a Chapter 9...and now I'm thinking possibly a Chapter 10?! We'll see where the characters take me...
> 
> In the mean time, please enjoy this long overdue update. And catch me on Twitter (@dani_dabbles) or Tumblr (@honest-malec) and use the hashtag #SweetHomeFic is you want to discuss or rant or rave. 
> 
> Thank you lovelies for reading. xo

The drive back from the field was silent. Only Magnus and Clary sit in the car but the phantom presence of Alec and Dot take up most of the space in the vehicle. The hurt in Alec’s hazel eyes and the shock and fury in Dot’s would not leave him. Magnus knew Clary probably wanted to say something but he was too lost in his own self-loathing and mental beratement to have a spoken conversation. He’d been stupid, _ so fucking stupid _. Did he really think that he could come down here and cut ties so easily? That he’d be able to hack away part of his life without cutting the people around him? Making them bleed because of his embarrassment and desperation to be rid of this part of his life. 

He pulls into the plantation, parking the car and turning off the engine. Once all the power is cut, the gauges fall to zero - and Magnus totally relates. He slumps forward over the wheel feeling his own energy abandon him as well. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clary murmurs breaking the tension filled silence. 

“What is there to say? I have managed to further hurt two people in my life that loved me unconditionally.”

He hears the rustle of Clary fidgeting in her seat, “‘Loved?’ As in past tense?”

Magnus feels an odd sort of compulsion to laugh. “Yes.._ loved _ . Past tense. How could I expect Dot to forgive this? I lied about my life. About my name. She’s a wonderful person, but this might be too much even for her kind heart. _ I _ might be too much. Too many lies, too many insecurities, too many skeletons in the closet.”

Why couldn’t he have been honest with Dot years ago? Why did he think that none of this matters to their future? When you marry someone, you marry every facet of them. You take on their family, their past, their fears, their dreams. And he denied Dot knowledge about so much of himself. She was unknowingly going to marry half a person. She was going to marry Magnus Garroway, a charming and successful designer. She knows he prefers gin martinis, that he is a dedicated donor to the Animal Care Centers of NYC, that he loathes acid wash jeans and when he’s stressed he indulges on cheap, greasy pizza. She loves Magnus Garroway. She loves his tendencies toward extravagance, his driven work ethic and his confidence. 

But Dot doesn’t know Magnus Bane. She doesn’t know about his extensive knowledge of football because in high school he watched his boyfriend play, never missing a single game. Or that he’s familiar with the hard, plastic back seat of a police cruiser after being caught teepeeing the mayor’s house on a dare. That he can bait a hook and isn’t half bad at archery. Or that the scar on his elbow is from being shoved into a glass shelf by his stepfather. She doesn’t know about the nights and days he spent in bed crying for a mother wasn’t going to come back. She doesn’t know the friends that became his family and kept him afloat. She doesn’t know about the fears and insecurities that secretly plague him - even now. 

Then there is Alec. Who has suffered the deepest wounds from Magnus’ actions. Who loved Magnus Bane but was a stranger to Magnus Garroway. _ I think I’m finally ready to let Magnus Bane go though. _ That’s what he had said before turning away. And a part of Magnus can’t believe that he thought Magnus Bane was worth holding onto. And that makes Magnus feel even guiltier. He feels like he has strung Alec along all these years. He left but he didn’t immediately sever all of his connections to this place. Why didn’t he push harder for divorce with Alec years ago before Dot, before this engagement? He’d made feeble attempts, but every time those documents had come back unsigned, he’d only scoffed and quickly forget about them again. He allowed their game of chicken to stretch for years. Taunting and challenging each other through white paper and black ink. Alec apparently trying to coax Magnus back. And Magnus stubbornly refusing to do this the right way, face to face. Why did he allow it to fester so long? It wasn’t fair to Alec, to either of them.

Feeling like his mind might be spiraling down into a pit of self-loathing and guilt, Magnus notices that the tears have finally caught up to him. 

“Magnus…” Clary sighs out his name. “Love isn’t conditional. A person truly in love won’t hold mistakes against their partner. They won’t turn their back on them when things get rough. They won’t switch their love on and off based on what suits their mood or needs. I know you’ve done things you regret, but if Dot truly loves you, then she will come back to you.”

Clary pauses for Magnus to respond but when his silence stretches, she continues, “Love isn’t something so trivial Magnus. It becomes a vital part of you; this unknown thing you need to feel complete. I’ve imagined that loving someone is like cutting a piece of the fabric of my heart to give to them; like “Here is a vital piece of me, I want you to have it.” And in return I hope to receive a part of their heart. And our hearts will be whole again, patched with the pieces we’ve gifted each other. Forever possessing and protecting a part of each one another.”

“What if they no longer trust you to protect that piece of them? What if they want their piece back? And what if you don’t get the piece of yourself back either? Then you’re left with a hole, frayed and ugly for the whole world to see…”

Clary reaches over and runs her fingers through the back of hair and down his back to gently rub circles across his green coat. Magnus finds her movements soothing and then feels guilty for allowing someone to comfort him when he’s the one that’s done the hurting. Clary’s voice is just a notch above a whisper when she speaks again, “Then you wait for the person who sees you, sees the damage and see something valuable and worth repairing.”

He turns to look at her, not even trying to hide the tears or the redness he knows she sees around his eyes, “Right now, I don’t know who could look at me and see anything of value.”

Clary is opening her mouth to reply when a verbal “Knock, knock” comes from the exterior of the car. Maia is peering in, hands stuffed in the pockets of her leather jacket and a worried look on her face. Magnus opens the door and she leans in, “Everything okay?”

Clary leans over the console and partially over Magnus to better see Maia, “Condensed version: Alec learned that Magnus has been using a false identity and past. Dot learned that Alec and Magnus were married until recently. Both stormed off. Magnus now thinks he’s unworthy of love.”

Maia blinks at them, “Yeah...I’m going to need the full length anniversary addition with bonus special features version of this story.” She pulls at the sleeves of a begrudged Magnus coaxing him out of the car. “Come on. There’s more dough to be made, you can knead the shit out of it while you recount to me what happened on the field. Very therapeutic. Promise.”

An hour later, the three friends are once again gathered around the kitchen island. Magnus covered to his elbows in flour, several loaves of bread in the oven and a little less doom on his shoulders. Maia was right, baking is oddly therapeutic, helping him work through his emotions as we worked the dough. Now he was ready for action. Itching to pick himself up, dust himself off - literally, he was covered in flour after all - and once again try to fix the mess he’s made. 

This morning , he sat at this very same counter and stressed over his kiss with Alec last night. He’d vowed to clear the air between them and set some distance and boundaries. After the fiasco a few hours ago, he’s sure the distance part won’t be a problem. But getting that stubborn man to talk to him may be a test in patience and persistence. He has to try though. Alec can still hate him, but at least he can hate him with all the facts and feelings out in the open.

As for Dot, it was time to put the full and honest truth out there. No dodging questions or telling white lies. Straight and honest truth. She deserves to know everything about him. If they are getting married, Dot deserves _ all _of him. And Magnus thinks that it’s time to be all of himself. 

While the three are in deep discussion about how Magnus should approach both Alec and Dot and explain himself, Luke peers in with a small smile, “Sorry to interrupt, but I found someone wandering the outskirts of the parking lot and brought them back here.”

Stepping out from behind Luke, Dot hovers in the doorway. Magnus gapes at her. “Dot, what are you doing here? I thought you’d be on your way back to the airport by now.”

“Well for one thing, my car is here and walking wasn’t going to get me very far, very quickly. And secondly, I might be feeling guilty for storming away and not giving you a chance to explain - to help me understand what is going on with you. Because I do want to understand, Magnus.” Her soft brown eyes are wide with worry and ringed with a hurtful sorrow.

Magnus takes a few hesitating steps in her direction, brushing his hands down the black apron Maia had equipped him with, before approaching and taking her hand. Both of them watch as he runs his thumbs over the back of her hand leaving a slight trail of flour on her tanned skin. “I want to tell you everything. No more secrets.” 

Dot gives a silent nod. 

Magnus gestures with his head to Luke behind her still hovering in the doorway. “I see you’ve met Luke. He’s not my stepfather like I told you. But he is the only father figure in my life that matters. And Maia,” he turns to smile at the curly haired woman watching from the other side of the island next to Clary, “She is not my cousin but she was my best friend growing up. And my heart claims her as family too. There may be no blood tying me to either of them, but their family through more important means.”

He ducks his head to hold Dot’s gaze, “If you’ll let me, I want to show you my life here.”

  
  


Two hours later, Magnus has taken Dot on a driving tour of Pigeon Creek. He’s showed her all the places he haunted in his youth: Taki’s where everyone gathered after football games on Friday nights, the park where he and his friends would sneak out to drink, and even the cemetery to meet his mom. Watching Dot stand over his mother’s grave and reverently touch the cold dark stone had left Magnus near tears. At that moment he missed the woman who’s counsel and embrace he craved above any other. What he wouldn’t give to hear her opinion all the events of the past ten years. The life he created. His business. Alec. Dorthea. All of it. She would have set him straight a long time ago. Maybe if his mother had been here to guide him, Magnus would have made less mistakes and hurt less people. He just hopes now he hasn’t disappointed her. 

Dot and Magnus are back in the car with one destination remaining. Just outside of town off the highway, Magnus pulls into an un-maintained driveway, gravel barely visible through the grass and easily missed. 

“What is this?” Dot asks taking in the overgrown and weed fill plot of land around them.

Magnus stares straight ahead and begins to talk,“This was where I grew up. We, uh, had a mobile home here. It wasn’t much really. Far from glamorous, though probably bigger than my first apartment in the city.” he huffs. “But it kept us warm and dry and my mom made it a home. After her suicide, I continued to live here with my stepfather. And he was... awful. He had never been a good person and to this day I don’t know why my mom married him. I never knew my birth father but she always reassured me that my stepfather was a better man. But if my mom thought he was an upgrade from my birth father, then he must have been the devil himself. After she left us, my stepfather became my nightmare. He was always known to drink a bit too much. Getting tipsy and making us feel like we had to tiptoe around him. I remember bruises on my mother’s skin over the course of my childhood. I just didn’t understand what they meant at the time. Maybe if I had, maybe she wouldn’t have felt the need to leave us. But I became familiar with the bruises myself in the years when it was just me and him. He’d get drunk, start screaming and throwing things. He would blame me for her death, said she probably couldn’t live with herself for having a son like me, with my “gay ways” and “girly attire.”

“Oh Magnus…” Dot murmurs and grabs his hand over the car’s console. Magnus can’t turn to look at her, afraid that he’ll lose his nerve. He needs to get all of this out in the open. 

“It’s okay. Really. I knew he was full of shit. And I mostly didn’t take it to heart. But on the really bad days or the days my armor was dented and weak, I made my way to Luke’s. He was the first person to make me feel safe after my mom’s death. And he had an unspoken open-door policy. I was welcome any time, any day and for any duration. Some days I would lay in my bed at the plantation and imagine what it would be like to grow up there. If my mom had married Luke instead of my stepfather. To have a male figure in my life that was strong, brave and kind…” Magnus trails off, part of him still wanting that adolescent daydream.

“Leaving my home, my only friends, my- uh - husband to go to New York was the most reckless, selfish and terrifying thing I have ever done. I was pursuing a dream but I was also running from nightmares. I wanted to distance myself from all of those terrible things. I didn’t want to be the person who came from an abusive home. It’s not the story I wanted anyone to associate with me. I didn’t want the pity or disgust. That’s why I chose to go by another name, to spin my childhood into a much more acceptable, happy story. The thing is...it wasn’t all bad. I was happy here at times. My friends made me happy, Luke made me happy...Alec made me happy. I know this might be hard for you to hear, but my relationship with Alec got me through some very tough times when I lived here. I owe him more than even I can fathom. I also owe him quite a few shirts that were stained with my snot and tears. I can honestly say, that those few months after we got married, were the most blissful of my life at the time.” 

Magnus pauses still staring ahead through the bug splattered windshield, but waiting for Dot to react to this admission. Not brave enough to look into her eyes and see anger or displeasure, Magnus takes her silence as permission to continue talking.

“I didn’t have to live with or see my stepfather anymore. It was a new start. Adulthood and independence - a chance to find my own footing. I wanted big things for myself, for us. Alec and I were going to try to move to New York together. We were ready to take a leap of faith and more across the country to live, work and put ourselves through school. We were convinced that everything would be fine because we’d do it together. I guess when you are eighteen, nineteen years old, conquering the world seems like such a simple feat. Unfortunately, it leaves you utterly blindsided when instead, the world crumples beneath you.” 

Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Magnus says a little more softly, “The Lightwoods had a son named Max. He was ten years younger than Alec. And he was the darling of the family. He was also the little brother I never had. God, I loved that kid.” A small sad smile finds its way across his mouth. “I would pick him up from school some days when the rest of the Lightwood family was busy. Which usually ended up with us getting ice cream because he would beg and I would cave. Sometimes Alec and I babysat him so his parents could have a break. We spoiled him then too. Pizza, movies, candy...whatever he wanted. 

But then...he was taken from us.” His previous small smile slips away.

Magnus continues looking ahead but it’s not the empty lot he’s seeing. Instead he’s sees cold rain hitting and sliding down the sides of a small black coffin. Mourners huddled under umbrellas. And the Lightwood family huddled together at the edge of the hole in the ground, so close they could easily fall in, but so desperate to be near the youngest member of their clan for a few minutes longer. “He should have been safe taking the school bus home. But that stupid car was going too fast and not paying attention to kids crossing the road…” Magnus cuts himself off. Unable to go back down that path of outright fury at the stranger who stole so much from them with their inattention. 

“With Max’s absence, Alec, the one person who kept me steady and grounded, was thrown completely off kilter. Neither one of us could seem to find balance after that. Alec wasn’t equipped to deal with his own grief, much less that of his entire family. Somehow it fell to him to hold everything and everyone together. In the meantime, I was very old friends with grief and turned to anger instead. I was furious at the universe for taking another good person from the world, from _ me _ . Alec was so focused on taking care of his family that I got lost in the shuffle. _ We _ got lost in the shuffle. He wouldn’t let me help or comfort him and he wasn’t there when I really needed him to comfort me in return. We just fumbled around in the endless void of grief, bumping into one another and knocking each other down. Never helping each other back up and not really looking for a way out together.

After a few months of this, I was convinced that the ground was never going to be steady under my feet again. I lived in constant anticipation of the floor to dropping out from under my feet again. I just couldn’t deal anymore. I felt alone and untethered. I wanted to be in control of my life again. To feel safe and secure. An opportunity arose, the chance of a lifetime, and so I decided to find new ground far from the wreckage that was my life here. So I found myself in New York, ready to forget it all. To escape from all the things I didn’t want to deal with.” 

“If this visit home has shown me anything, it’s that trying to cut off this part of my life has only caused more hurt. I can’t deny my past anymore. I want to try and fix what I’ve broken. I want to reconnect with my family here.”

Silence rings loudly as the pair sit watching the breeze ripple through the tall grass around them. 

Deciding he can’t avoid the topic any longer, Magnus turns to look at Dot only to find her looking at him, He knows that all of his worry and insecurities sit exposed on his face for her to see. And she is looking at him like she’s seeing him in a completely different light. Magnus can only hope it's still a pleasing light. “I can understand if you want to call off the wedding. This is...a lot.”

Dot shakes her head. “Yes, it is a lot. But. I don’t want to call off the wedding.”

Magnus blinks at her. “Really?”

“Really really.” she smirks before growing serious again. “However, I need to know. Is Alec one of the people you want to reconnect with? Because I’m not sure how I would feel about him being in your life, even just as friends, considering your history and how fresh the divorce is. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. But I’m afraid this is my own insecurities flaring up.”

Magnus knows he should have expected this but the request still catches him off guard. He hesitates before answering. “You saw what happened this morning. I don’t think Alec wants much to do with me. I feel like I owe him a similar explanation that I’ve just given you. But yes, I do think distance is needed between us. Never fear.”

Dot seems to deflate a little, tension Magnus hadn’t realizes she held slides off her shoulders. “In that case, what would you think about having our wedding here? In Alabama. You said you want to reconnect, this seems like a great first step in doing that”

“Oh darling, I think that’s an amazing idea.” Magnus breathes out. He promptly grabs for his phone, he ignores the several missed calls displayed on his screen and immediately dials Maia.

Holding the phone between himself and Dot, the other line is answered, “This is Maia.” 

“Maia, it’s Magnus. I’m here with Dot and we have a question for you.”

“I’m listening.” interest evident in her voice.

He’s grins over the phone at Dot. “How would you and Garroway Plantation like to host our wedding?”

“Woah. Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” Dot laughs. “What’s your availability between now and the end of the year?

Magnus startles at that. He thought Dot would want a summer wedding, or at least spring. Through the phone, Maia seems thrown by the request as well, “Oh! Um. Well, we’re pretty booked. The only weekend available is mid-November. About six weeks from now?”

“Is that logistically possible? Would it give you enough time? I know I can handle the guest list and finding a dress in that short time frame, but does that give you enough time for the menu and cake?” Dot questions, falling into her own event organizer mode.

“If we can nail down food and ceremony details this weekend before you go back home, then yes. It’s doable.”

Dot looks up from the phone, “What do you say Mags? It’s great, right?”

_ It’s fast _, that’s the first thought to flit across Magnus’ head. But it’s no more impulsive than his and Alec’s trip to the courthouse when they were eighteen to get hitched. At that time it hadn’t felt impulsive, it had felt like the most natural course of action. So it’s weird that this time, Magnus feels nervous at the prospect of saying “I do” in just a few short weeks. However, it’s been an emotionally taxing week and he thinks it’s all catching up to him, leaving his insides scrambled and confused. 

The important thing is Dot has forgiven him. She listened to his deplorable past and she still wants to marry him. She’s even sacrificing her glitz urban wedding to have the ceremony here in his hometown. She wants to make this work and so does he. So if she wants to bump up the date, then Magnus can do that. He doesn’t want to ruin another marriage before they even get to the altar just because he expected to have more time to prepare for their nuptials. It’s fine really. So he returns her grin. “It’s perfect.”

  
  


Late that night, Magnus is walking down the hallway toward his bedroom at the estate. He, Dot and Maia had spent the last few hours talking reception menu, cake flavors, ceremony music, place settings, color schemes and all the other tedious decisions that come with wedding planning. Clary sat in too, throwing in her own ideas all the while sketching out a dress for Dot on her worn sketch pad. They’d worked late into the night but with their combined skills and impeccable taste, Magnus has no doubt this wedding will be stunning - despite the limited time. But right now he’s exhausted and ready to join Dot in bed. She retired earlier to their room while Magnus stayed back to have one more cup of coffee with Maia and Clary. 

He’s almost to the bedroom, when he hears Dot’s voice drifting from the open door.

“What did you want me to do Daddy? Dump him because he used to be poor? You and I both know he does very well for himself now so it hardly matters.” She pauses, but from this distance Magnus can’t hear what her father is saying on the other end of the line. “Yes, I know Garroway isn’t his real last name. How do _ you _ know that? Wait. Nevermind. I don’t really want to know. And I hardly think this ‘scandal’ as you put it will have any effect on your political career. Be realistic.” She pauses to listen again before continuing, “Well legally his last name is Bane. But you’re right, I really don’t want to take it as my last name. It doesn’t hold the same amount of sway and influence as Garroway. I’ll talk to him. I can’t see why he would be against making Garroway his legal surname. It’s the name attached to his entire career. It makes sense to make the switch. I’ll be over once we get back to New York and we can discuss wedding details and legalities then.” Another pause then, “Okay. Give mom hugs from me. See you soon. Bye.”

Magnus leans against the wall outside their bedroom taking in everything he had just heard. He was well aware of how little his future father-in-law thought of him. The feeling was entirely mutual. Magnus needed extensive dental work from clenching his teeth in that man’s presence over the last few years. The only reason Magnus thinks he’s tolerated him is because he makes Mr. Rollin’s look more favorable to liberal voters. Like _ Vote for me! I have a future son-in-law that’s a person of color and bisexual so there is no way I’m a bigoted asshole being secretly paid off by far right-wing conservative lobbyists. _Magnus scowls just thinking about all of the future political fundraisers and events he’ll be obligated to attend and feign support. At least if he votes against him in the privacy of the voting booth, no one will be the wiser. 

What really nags at Magnus conscience was the part about his last name. He’d be lying to say he hadn’t thought about changing his name in the last few years. But he always held back. Officially becoming Magnus Garroway was the last step in erasing Magnus Bane. Despite all of his harsh feelings, he had always held back from that final step. After the week here in Pigeon Creek and the promise to himself to be all of himself - the idea still doesn’t quite sit right. He never gave much thought to what name Dot would take, if she even wanted to share a last name with him. Apparently she does. If he did change his name to Garroway now, he wouldn’t be doing it alone. It could be a fitting symbolic gesture to change their name together. To signify their new beginning together. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Magnus stands outside the door a few more minutes debating with himself. But as he turns to enter the room and join Dot for bed, he knows what his answer will be if she asks him about it. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, find me on Twitter (@dani_dabbles) or Tumblr (@honest-malec) and use the hashtag #SweetHomeFic is you want to discuss or rant or rave.
> 
> Kudos and comments are overwhelmingly appreciated as well.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

The following weeks are frantic as Magnus and Dot split their time between New York and Alabama. Work and general life obligations occupy most of their time through the week, with weekends consumed by frenzied wedding planning. The couple quickly compiles their guest list and rushes out invitations. Both field phone calls from friends, family and colleagues all asking the same questions forcing them to reiterate the same information repeatedly: Yes, they really are having a destination wedding in Alabama. Yes, the Hampton Inn is the best hotel in the area. No, this is not a shotgun wedding. Yes, they might be slightly crazy but it’s their wedding and it’s what they want. 

It’s a whirlwind of endless phone calls, cake samples and flower choices. Magnus takes all of it in stride, well adapted to working under pressure and on a time crunch. It is so easy to lose himself in the _ work _ without really thinking about what he’s working _ toward _ \- his own wedding and marriage. But every now and then, the enormity of the situation catches up to him, leaving him a little breathless and a little shaky. It’s ridiculous really. He’s been married before, the idea of committing himself to someone should not throw him off balance like this. Magnus rationalizes that he previous wedding was not as big of a production as this one - a hundred guests, a limo, custom dresses and tuxes, lavish flower arrangements, a 4 course meal and a five tier cake. The desire to make everything perfect for Dorothea keeps him up at night planning through all the ways this could turn into a disaster. He has contingency plans for everything. They’re planning an outdoor ceremony but have the plantation’s small chapel is on reserve should the weather not cooperate. The reception will be held in the recently constructed greenhouse regardless of weather, so no worries there. Clary will be on hand for any dress malfunctions or last minute adjustments that might occur. They’ve booked a few extra hotel rooms for any unexpected guests. Maia will have spare cake on hand in case one of the tiers takes a dive off the table. They even have a live band _ and _a DJ. Despite his list of worries, everything should be perfect. 

In a few short weeks, they will be married, happy and officially starting their lives together. Magnus when the stress mounts, Magnus reminds himself of this end goal daily and continues to soldier forward into this new chapter of his life; refusing to bow to the mounting anxiety creeping along his edges. He’s become quite adept at ignoring the little voice inside his head that likes to make itself known at the most inconvenient times - like ring shopping with Dot - by chanting _ too fast, too fast, too fast, too fast, too fast.. _ .The voice so loud sometimes he fears Dot will hear it echoing from his own ears. She, on the other hand, remains consistent in her excitement. She remains nonplussed by the complications of putting together such a large scale event in such a short amount of time. She’s in her element, cajoling vendors to rush supply orders, calling in favors to photographers and stylists and name-dropping when necessary to get someone to comply with her speedy demands. Even her father’s refusal to come down early to meet Magnus’ family and friends, doesn’t deter her. _ You know how he is right now Magnus. He’s gearing up for his reelection campaign. He’s stressed and extremely busy right now. Don’t worry. He really is excited to meet them at the wedding. _Magnus is pretty sure the man’s anything but excited. But does not refute her excuses, instead he quietly nurses his hurt at having the people important to him brushed off with little care. 

With three weeks until the wedding, Magnus is once again back in Alabama for the weekend, Clary in tow of course. As well as his friend and tailor, Raphael Santiago. Currently the man is taking measurements for his and Luke’s tuxes. Magnus could easily have designed his own suit, but he can admit that Raphael talent is unmatched in men’s formalwear. He’s flattered that the man willingly dropped everything to fly down here for this fitting. Magnus lounges on Luke’s bed attention flitting between his phone and his pseudo-father who is enduring the tedious business of suit-making. Ignoring his own reflection in the mirror and Raphael crouching at his feet, Luke addresses Magnus. “So, how are you feeling about all this kiddo? The wedding is only a few weeks away. Nervous yet?” 

Magnus looks up from his phone once again to give Luke a withering look, “Kiddo? Really Luke? I’m almost thirty years old. And second. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” He almost believes his own words.

“Just checking. It’s normal to feel those prenuptial jitters...I think.” Luke, the eternal bachelor, looks unsure of himself as he says it though.

“Prenuptials! I’m glad you said that. Remind me when we are done here that I need to forward the prenup paperwork Dot’s lawyer drew up to my lawyer. Ragnor, the bugger, keeps leaving me voicemails about it, but honestly, I haven’t had time to listen to them. But he needs to look it over, make sure it’s fair and such.”

Luke frowns, “A prenuptial agreement, huh? Isn’t that basically putting a plan in place to make it easier to divorce each other later? Doesn’t sound very committed to me.”

Another glance at his phone, Magnus replies, “It’s smart. That’s what it is, my dear Luke.” 

Luke only hums in response. He fixes Magnus with a knowing look in the mirror and then looks to Magnus’ phone clutched in his lap, “So, has Alec texted you back yet?”

Magnus balks. “Who says I’m waiting for Alec to text me?”

“Aren’t you?”

Magnus huffs but relents, “Fine, yes. I texted him.” He had sent Alec a text first thing this morning asking to meet him later at Taki’s for coffee. A few hours later, he still has received no response. Not even those infuriating three little dots to show that his ex even attempted to reply. “How did you even guess?”

“You’ve been checking your phone every sixty seconds and muttering what sounds like ‘stubborn ass’. It’s easy enough to assume.” Luke shrugs with a chuckle. Raphael pats Luke's arm and murmurs something to him. Luke nods and steps away from the mirror. He approaches the bed, leans casually against his four poster and asks, “Have you seen him since...everything?”

Raphael waves Magnus over to the mirror, Magnus doesn't immediately repy, instead he takes his place before the mirror and allows Raphael to manhandle him into position eventually meeting Luke’s gaze in the mirror. He deflects once more to watch Raphael run the measuring tape along his arms, before finally speaking up and failing to conceal his resentment,“Have I seen Alec since he walked away from me three weeks ago angry and almost in tears? No. He won't return my call or answer my texts. He won’t acknowledge me at all.”

“And that bothers you?” Luke tilts his head just a bit waiting to gauge Magnus’ response.

“If you must know, yes. It does. No one _ likes _ to be ignored after all.” Luke is giving him such a sympathetic look that Magnus can’t hold on to his indigation. He knows Luke won’t judge him for allowing his true feelings, his true hurt show, “I don’t know Luke. I can’t shake this nagging feeling that everything between us remains…unfinished or...something.”

“I don’t know if the business between you two will ever be truly finished.” Luke throws out like it’s the most obvious thing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Magnus questions, eyes raised at the man through the mirror reflection. 

“I don’t know.” Luke gestures with his hands, “It’s just that even ten years later, it’s still _ Alec and Magnus _ and _ Magnus and Alec _. It’s hard to talk about one of you without referencing the other. You guys were always a package deal, attached at the hip, two peas in a pod and all that cliche stuff. Don’t get me wrong, Dot is a wonderful woman and if marrying her makes you happy, then you have my unwavering support, kiddo. But I do have to agree with you, I think you and Alec aren’t finished with each other yet. Call it an old man’s hunch.”

Magnus’ shock at Luke’s frankness must show because Luke adds, “But like I said, I’m an old man. What do I know?”

“As far as I’m concerned, you know quite a bit.” He looks away from Luke’s reflection again to watch Raphael at work, a few moments of silences passes. “What do you suggest I do? Should I keep trying to contact him? Because even though he might hate me, I really want a chance to talk. I want to give him a better explanation of why I did what I did all those years ago. I just want him to give me a few minutes of his time so we can get all of this out in the open. So we can move onward and forward. Am I wrong to want that?”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting closure, kiddo. But is that what you’re really wanting here? Or do you just want to see him again? Have an excuse to talk to him again?”

Magnus drops his eyes to watch Raphael measure his leg length; afraid to meet Luke’s expectant stare and unwilling to answer the question.

* * *

Magnus hunches over his phone, staring at the still unanswered text he sent Alec. It’s not his first attempt to contact his ex. Any weekend he’s in town, Magnus has sent a text asking to meet with Alec, to have that discussion they never got to have. The first time, Magnus was optimistic. But after a second attempt and now a third, the replying silence was really starting to grate his nerves. Regardless of what Luke insinuated, Magnus truly does want to find some closure for them. He vowed to do that in person, like mature adults. He doesn’t want their last interaction to be what transpired on that field. Even Dot, who doesn’t like the idea, concedes that concluding business between them is best done in person. He can’t let things end in a fight like last time. An amiable, if only tolerable, talk between the two men was the most reasonable plan. But doing required Alec to be in the same room as him. That thought alone kicked up Magnus’ heart rate a bit. 

“Oh my god. Magnus you nail polish is _ chipped _.”

Clary slides into the seat at the table next to him pulling him from his thoughts and giving him an incredulous look. He catches sight of his hands and examines his nails. She’s right, the navy blue lacquer is cracked and flaking. Something Magnus would normally never tolerate. Clary grabs one of his hands in hers to better examine his messy manicure, “Your nail polish is never chipped, unless you’re majorly stressing out.”

“I think planning a wedding in six weeks is cause for a little stress, don’t you Biscuit? Surely you can forgive my less than perfect appearance?” 

Clary frees his hand, “You’re right. Everyone is running around to make this happen, especially you and Dot. But you need a break. You look exhausted and I feel like I catch you staring into space more often than not these days.”

Magnus simply shrugs unwilling to deny her claim, still looking down at his hands and picking at the edge of the polish on his left ring finger. Little bits of blue fall to the table. 

Clary squeezes his shoulder, “I have the perfect idea to get your mind off all of this wedding stuff for awhile. Retail therapy.”

Magnus looks at her not even trying to hide his skepticism.

“Oh come on! I finally got around to Googling the address for that furniture company we liked at the festival last month. The same one Jace said provided furnishings for the store. Broken Arrow Company? Remember. It’s just in the next town over, about 35 minutes away. I think everyone can spare you for the afternoon.”

“I don’t know, I really should be working.” His computer on the table next to him sits with tabs open to their music selection list, the order form for their wedding favors, his email thread with his travel agent about their honeymoon and his design program open with work for RUNEZ waiting for his attention as well. He stares at the screen for a second. He blinks rapidly for a second. The words are fuzzy. He holds up his phone and sees his unanswered text to Alec before sighing in defeat. “You might be right, darling. I think I need a few minutes away. And I have been meaning to check out this place. Just another thing on my To Do List that’s been lost in the shuffle this month.”

“Well, let’s fix that today. But first, we’re going for manis and pedis. Maia already recommended me a place. Because Magnus without a perfect manicure stresses me out.”

* * *

By the time they leave the plantation, treat themselves at the salon and get in the car to head to Cooperstown, dusk is approaching. Their drive was mostly quiet, the two friends content to enjoy comfortable silence and country scenery. 

Now, the pair stand in the crowded parking lot of Broken Arrow Company, gawking slightly at the building in front of them.

“Holy shit, this is nothing like I was expecting! Do you see this place Magnus?! We aren’t even in the door yet and I want to refurbish my entire apartment.”

“You were right. Coming here was an excellent idea.” Clary nobs her agreement, face still slightly in awe.

Magnus’ cell pings and he looks down to see a text from his lawyer, Ragnor, that simply says CALL ME YOU FOOL. Magnus shakes his head and turns off his phone. He really cannot deal with the prenuptial agreement legal jargon right now. He wasn’t just flattering Clary. She was right, he needs some time away and he intends to claim some time for himself today. He shoves the phone back in his pants pocket and loops Clary’s arm through his as they follow the stone path toward the barn-like structure. 

Broken Arrow Company is situated in the Alabama countryside and housed in what looks to be an old barn that has been recently made new. The old stone walls have been whitewashed, a black metal roof shelters the structure but the truly impressive part is the front facade. What was probably another stone wall was taken down and replaced with a wall made entirely of glass; creating a wonderful balance of old, new, rustic and modern. Warm light glowed from within, creating a warm and inviting picture before them. Like Clary, Magnus was already incredibly impressed and feeling like he may have just stumbled on Alabama’s best kept secret. Though the steady stream of people going in and out the doors, suggested that this place wouldn’t be a secret for too long. 

They enter through the main door, currently propped open to allow people to move in and out more freely. They step across the threshold which immediately opens up to the furniture showroom. Despite the wall of windows and enormous two story space, the place feels cozy and welcoming. Before Magnus has a chance to take in the rest of the space, Clary taps Magnus’ shoulder and points to their left. A set of double doors opens to an attached room off the main showroom, above the door hangs a simple sign with _ Heline’s Home Goods _ hand painted in black. The faces of two women, Aline and Helen, that they met back weeks ago at Hunter’s Moon flash into Magnus’ memory. He remembers feeling a sort of comradery with the two in their excitement of starting their own business. He thinks he even gave them a few tidbits of advice -things he wished he’d known the first year RUNEZ had opened. However, the number of people coming back out through the doors with bags in hand, Magnus suspects they are doing just fine. By instinct Magnus and Clary begin to meander to their right, when they notice another set of doors, this time leading to a coffee shop and bakery. 

“We should really get the full experience.” Magnus says, head tilted suggestively toward the coffeeshop. 

“You get the coffee, I’ll get the scones.” Clary agrees, linking his arm and guiding them through the doors.

With refreshments in hand a few minutes later, they begin their tour of the showroom, walking first among the chair section, testing out a few rocking chairs and seeing the bar stools they’d admired at the festival. Clary spends several minutes lamenting the size of her apartment and its inability to hold a large dining set she’s apparently fallen in love with. She’s listing off some of her current furniture she’d be willing to get rid of to accommodate the table, when Magnus notices a small section in the back corner. He leaves Clary to further drool over the table to admire the drafting tables he’s spotted. They are built in the same style as his own back in New York, dark wood and black metal. Where his has old, vintage hardware, these are made with newer stronger, material and have accompanied stools. But the look and feel of them are so familiar to him. If his table back at his studio didn’t have so many emotions attached to it, he would order one of these today to ship back without hesitation. 

He’s weighing the idea of purchasing one anyway and gifting it to Clary when he startled at the contact of something cold and wet nudging his hand. 

Now sitting next to him, happily wagging its tail is a dog. A dog Magnus recognizes.

“Shadow?”

The dog jumps up and yips happily at Magnus’ recognition. “What are you doing here, huh?” Without hesitation, Magnus drops down to properly greet the dog with lots of ear scratches and hugs. 

If Shadow was here, then that meant...

“Shadow! Come on boy, leave the customers alone,”

Magnus goes rigid at the sound of that oh so familiar voice coming from over his shoulder. 

Magnus has a prickling odd sense of dejavu. Of a different store but with the same dog and the same voice.

“Shadow, come. I’m sorry sir. He isn’t typically such a pain, he usually leaves strangers alon-” The man drops off mid sentence as Magnus, still crouched down, rises and turns toward the approaching voice. 

Alec’s voice may be as familiar to him as his own, but the site that greets him is quite new and Magnus finds himself giving Alec a less than subtle head-to-toe once over. Because even though he’s still in his signature black, Alec is dressed in such an _ un-Alec _ way. His ensemble starts with sleek black dress shoes and slim fit black trousers that leave a hint of ankle which has Magnus flustered like it's 1819 and not 2019. The thin black sweater is unassuming, except it’s plastered against Alec’s toned chest in away that is anything but modest. As if all that wasn’t enough, the entire outfit is finished off with a sharp cut black sport coat. 

Alec radiates confidence and class. 

Magnus stares dumbly. 

The hazel eyes watching him however, say Alec feels more wary than confident.

“Alec. Hi.” Magnus manages to greet without a stutter but shoves his hand into the pocket of his own black jeans to keep them from fidgeting. He dares approach so only a respectable few feet separate them.

“So, who finally caved and told you?” Alec questions, face schooled into indifference.

“Huh?” 

Alec only raises his eyebrows as if to say _ Really? _

Magnus blinks at Alec, gives another appreciative glance to his outfit, then looks over his shoulder at the drafting tables so much like the one he has back in New York. The one Alec made him as a wedding gift. Then Magnus looks at Shadow still sitting at his feet and then finally around at the showroom. Bits of remembered conversations a few weeks ago catch up to him.

_“I don’t know why it makes a difference. It’s not like there are assets to divide up. He’s got nothing I want.” _

_ “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Jace mumbles. _

_ “Yeah. I mean I’ve been spending more time in Cooperstown lately, so it just made more sense…” Alec trails off. _

_ “Alec, Magnus here wants to know where he can get some of this fancy-ass furniture?” _

Alec continues to watch him expectantly like he can tell Magnus is piecing it all together and is just waiting for him to step back and see the final picture. 

“You...I mean this...Is this _ yours _, Alec?”

“I told you a few weeks ago I wanted to show you something.” he shrugs.  
  


“I had no idea. How could I not know this?” he continues to gape at the showroom seeing it with new eyes, half expecting to find that everything in the room has been inscribed with the works _ Alec made this _ and he was just too blind to see it before now. 

Alec shrugs again, maintaining a cool demeanor, “I asked everyone to not say anything. But apparently someone must have spilled.”

“No. No one told me. We, Clary and I, came here on our own.” He hesitates before adding, “But why didn’t you want me to know? This place is incredible, Alec.”

Alec looks slightly uncomfortable, “Does it matter?”

Magnus regards the man in front of him, slightly confused and maybe a little wounded that Alec felt he had to hide his success from him. Magnus tries not to sound hurt, “I suppose not.”

They stand facing each other. Alec standing straight, hands behind his back almost like a soldier’s stance and Magnus facing him, one hand still in his pocket, the other having found its way back to Shadow, absentmindedly stroking his head. 

“I tried to get a hold of you a few times.” Magnus half whispers, glancing to the ground and feeling unexpectedly vulnerable with his words.

Alec swallows, “I know.”

“You never got back with me.” Magnus dares to look up.

Alec admits once more, “I know.”

“Alec-”

The man’s tense stance falls away as he hisses, “What do you want from me Magnus?” Alec tries and fails to mask his own pain. 

Both men are very aware of other people occupying the same space. Everyone seems to be ignoring them but Magnus doesn’t want to make this a public spectacle, again, so he replies discreetly as he can, “I just want to talk.”

Alec shakes his head slowly and crosses his arms across his chest holding himself tightly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Before Magnus can even attempt to explain that it is in fact a necessary idea, Alec continues on, “You’re confusing me, Magnus. I don’t really know who you are anymore. You have a new name, a new life and a new person to love you. So what do you want from me? You wanted this divorce and you got it. And I’m sorry things got more awkward and confusing after-,” his eyes flicker around them to make sure no one is in listening distance, and even though it appears not, Alec lowers his voice anyway, “after that kiss.” His shoulders hunch a little further in. “That shouldn’t have happened. And I’m sorry for my outburst in front of Dot. It was inappropriate. But it doesn’t change the fact that we aren’t anything to each other. So what do we even have to discuss? 

_ We aren’t anything to each other. _

Magnus can’t ignore the sting of those words. He tries not to grit his teeth in frustration, “I want a chance to explain myself, explain my actions and apologize for the hurt I’ve caused you. But mostly I didn’t want to leave our last conversation as one of anger and hurt. Because if you haven’t noticed, that’s kinda becoming our thing. And here we are once again.” 

“I’m not angry Magnus. Not anymore. But am I hurt? Yeah, I am. I also think it's justified. So if the reason you want to sit down and hash out our past is because you’re seeking forgiveness? Well, know that I do forgive you. I do. But I’m not able to forget. Not yet.” Alec draws himself back into a straighter stance, squaring his shoulders, “Which means I can’t do this.” He gestures between the two them. “I can’t try to forget and move on if I’m around you. So please, just let me be. I’ll continue to make myself scarce around town when you’re visiting. It will be easier for everyone if our joint presence and failed relationship isn’t polluting the air. And.. and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t text or call me again.” His voice cracks slightly with his final request. 

Magnus has to give Alec credit. He holds Magnus’ gaze unwavering. Unlike Magnus, who has to look away and down at Shadow while he processes Alec’s request. Didn’t he intend to make a similar request of Alec? They have gone ten years without seeing or talking with one another. This won’t really be much different and fairly easy to do with their respective homes in different states. It's the right thing to do, but...

Magnus opens his mouth before he’s consciously decided whether to agree with Alec or argue against him. Before he can even form a complete thought, Alec stops him with one raised hand. He then looks to the dog still enjoying Magnus’ attention, “Come on Shadow, let's leave this gentleman alone.”

Alec turns on the heels of his dress shoes and walks away. Dismissing Magnus entirely. 

Shadow reluctantly moves away from Magnus’ gentle petting and follows.

Magnus puts his hand back into his pocket and turns so he doesn’t have to watch Alec fade into the crowd. He closes his eyes and counts to ten taking several deep steady breathes. He opens his eyes to find that no one around him seems wise to their conversation, until he spies Clary across the way standing among various low lying coffee tables. She cocks her head at him in silent question. He shrugs back with a small smile. 

He’ll tell her, and everyone else, about it later. 

Right now he has to adjust to this new reality in which he will never see or talk to Alec Lightwood again; and attempt to dislodge the lump of inexplicable regret obstructing his airway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter you are cordially invited to the wedding of Magnus Garroway and Dorothea Rollins...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is the end.  
Thank you all for reading, for all your support, your comments and the Twitter love. <3 <3
> 
> As always, find me on Twitter (@dani_dabbles) and yell with me over Malec.

“You’re gonna miss the big party.”

Alec doesn’t bother turning around to greet his visitor, instead, he focuses on packing the suitcase open before him. Arranged across his bed are carefully folded piles of clothes and a line of toiletries waiting their turn for careful placement within his bag. 

He should probably be worried an intruder walked into his home, directly into his bedroom without announcing themselves or without any prompting from Alec. But he heard the car roll up the driveway and the sharp clicks of heels on his hardwood floors. Add in the texts from Jace, Maia, and Simon sitting unanswered on his phone, he knew the group would be sending in the big guns soon. The one person who can cut through Alec’s stubbornness more than anyone and the only person who would go out of their way to see him on this particular day.

“Go away Iz,” Alec commands with no real heat, only slight annoyance. His focus remains on the pair of pants before his as he tightly rolls them up, determined to fit all of his things into a carry-on. He considered himself a simple man, how did he have so much stuff?

“I drive 30 minutes to come to see you and that’s the greeting I get?” 

Though she can’t see it, Alec rolls his eyes at his sister before abandoning his task and turning to greet her. “You expected nothing less. And with those heels, Simon drove I’m sure.” He takes in her attire and adds with a fond smile, “You look beautiful, by the way.” Her hair is styled in big, soft waves, opposite of her usual ponytail. Her makeup is darker and sharper than normal, accenting her lovely features. The gold gown she wears moves like water against her figure and Alec fights every protective big brother instinct to grab one of his suit jackets and throw it around her. Possibly even securing it tightly with one of his belts. Alec always professed that his sister inherited the best genes from their parents. Cunningly smart and beautifully stunning. He’d given his fair share of dirty looks to leering eyes over the years and the instinct still lingered. Even if it is Simon’s job these days. 

Izzy smiles and preens slightly. “You should see Simon. I haven’t seen him in a tux since our wedding. I always forget how devastatingly handsome he is in one”

This time Alec does let her see the roll of his eyes, “I’ll take your word for it.” 

“You could still come with us.” She speaks matter of factly, despite her fingers fiddling nervously with her clutch strap. She gives him a small smile but it only speaks of sadness and sympathy. 

Alec crosses his arms and cocks his head at her, “Really? You think that would be a good idea?”

Izzy approaches and lays a delicate hand on his tense arm, “I think that you held on for a long time to walk away so quickly and easily now.”

Alec clenches his teeth, “Nothing about this has been easy.”

She considers him for a moment and he knows he’s not going to like whatever is about to come out of her black lipstick lined mouth, “Do you think he still has feelings for you?”

Yep, he knew he wasn’t going to like it. 

Scoffing at the idea and glaring slightly at his sister, “He’s marrying another person today, Iz. I’d say that is an answer in itself.” He turns away from her and shoves more clothing into his bag. All former concerns of packing it neatly and efficiently gone. 

“I know, I know. But love isn’t that simple, is it? I’m just saying, as an outsider, I can see something still between you.”

He grabs a pile of socks and boxer briefs and shoves the entangled wad of fabric into the front compartment. “If you mean awkward avoidance punctuated with a few scathing remarks, then yes. Something is still there.”

Izzy comes around to his side and sits on the edge of the bed. She once again reaches out to him, grabs his wrist putting a stop to his aggressive packing. “All I’m saying is that if you two don’t have feelings for each other and you’ve gone ten whole years without seeing each other...do you think you’d be a little more, I don’t know...apathetic? To each other? To the situation?”

Alec has no adequate rebuttal for that and remains silent.

“I think that all of the snide comments and forced aloofness speaks volumes about how you feel about each other.”

Alec pushes the suitcase further onto the bed and plops down on the mattress next to his pathologist-turned-therapist little sister. He supports himself with his forearms on his thighs and eyes downcast to the floor. He mulls her words over. He knows how he feels and is doing an okay job boxing those traitorous emotions away until they are forgotten. But now he’s re-examining his and Magnus’ recent interactions - albeit there are only a few. Has there been any indication that Magnus holds some feelings for him as well? Any indication besides what happened in the cemetery. He didn’t think so. But he has never excelled at reading people, that was always Izzy’s department. And if she seems to think so…

Turns his head to look at his baby sister, “What do you want me to do, Iz? Show up in the middle of his wedding and ask him if he loves me in front of everyone? And what do you think will happen? That he’ll just walk away from his fiance and kiss me senseless like some hopeless romantic rom-com? And we’ll immediately get back together and live happily ever after?”

“It doesn’t have to happen exactly like that but that's the gist of it, _ yes _!”

Alec groans and drops his head in his hands. His fingers dig slightly into his scalp. He feels Izzy lightly rub his back in soothing circles. 

They sit in silence for several moments before Izzy quietly asks, “Do you know what I love about you?”

“That I’m two feet taller than you and can hand you things down from upper cabinets?” 

She fixes him with a look and lightly slaps the back of his head. “I’m being serious here, big brother!”

“Ow! Okay, okay!” 

Satisfied that he will listen, Izzy continues, “I love that you never back down from a challenge. You have faced every obstacle life has thrown at you and overcome them all. Look at everything you’ve accomplished in your career! Broken Arrow was just a hobby out of your pitiful garage in the beginning. Now the company is booming and you have crazy opportunities happening right now. All by the age of thirty. You have this insane drive to do better and be better. When you commit to something, you’re in with 110% of your heart and soul, willing to give more of yourself than you even possess. 

And that’s how you love. Wholly and completely. Let’s face it, when you came out as gay and Magnus as bisexual, the people of Pigeon Creek couldn’t stop gossiping about it. And you didn’t give a fuck. You were unapologetically in love and refused to hide your relationship or maintain any sort of discretion that wasn’t required of every other couple in town. You and Magnus challenged every conservative glare sent in your direction and practically forced this town into acceptance. You fought for that because that’s what you wanted. It was what made you happy. 

_ He _made you happy, Alec.

So, if you can look me in the eye and say with absolute certainty you can be happy living the rest of your life Magnus-free, then I won’t say another damned word. However, I have to know you won’t have any regrets about that decision because we both know you still live with the guilt from your breakup all those years ago. You’ve tortured yourself with all the things you could have done differently; that fact that you didn’t fight hard enough to make it work. Don’t let this be another regret, Alec. If you want this, then fight for it.”

From his slumped position, Alec looks up at his sister, “Izzy, I appreciate you coming over here to give me the inspiring pep talk. But I’m done. This is a fight I can’t win. And Magnus, well...he left me. Regardless of my mistakes, he closed that door between us. Why should I be the one to bust through it? If he felt the same, shouldn’t that be him?” _ Why shouldn’t someone fight for me? _ is what he almost adds. Realizing he’s admitted more than he’s comfortable with already, Alec straightens up and angles his body more toward his sister, laying his hand on her leg, “Go. Have fun, dance, but don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” He smiles at her and squeezes her knee slightly trying to reassure her. He is probably less than convincing, but she seems to accept it. 

“Okay. I will just have to try and believe you then.” She pulls herself up and back onto her healed feet, the gold dress making waves as it readjusts. Izzy leans down and presses a kiss to Alec’s forehead in goodbye. She is at his door, when she turns back to him, “He’s not the same kind of happy as he wants everyone to believe. At least not the same happy he was with you. Maybe he doesn’t even realize it. But I see it and so do some of the others.” 

Then she is gone.

Alec drops his head into his hands, taking a few moments to collect himself. He worries at his bottom lip. He wasn’t lying. He was tired of this whole ordeal. He wants free of the weight this put on his shoulders, on his heart. This is one fight he can’t muster any more strength for. 

But sitting alone in his bedroom, Izzy’s words circling in his head, he can’t help but let his eyes drift to his favorite navy suit currently draped over the chair in the corner.

* * *

  
  


Magnus stands in front of the full-length mirror, pulling at his suit jacket and shirt sleeves, making a small unnecessary little adjustment to give his jittery hands something to do. The suit was impeccable, not that he expected anything but from Raphael. As always his style choices were carefully considered. He was a trendsetter and a walking billboard for his brand. So there was no universe where Magnus would get married in a typical black and white tux. His suit needed to showcase both unique fashion-forward style as well as sophistication and class - everything he and Clary wanted RUNEZ to exude. 

So his wedding attire was much debated. After a lengthy, creative discussion between himself, Clary, and Raphael, he now wore a burgundy suit. Raphael had tailored it to perfection, slim cut and tight in all the right places. Underneath Magnus wore a burgundy waistcoat, a black silk dress shirt and tie, and black velvet loafers on his feet. His favorite black ear cuff and the standard never-without rings on his fingers rounded out the somewhat unconventional look. He had opted to do his own hair and makeup, lining his eyes with black and adding a touch of gold along the lower eye. Streaks of gold were shot through his artfully tousled hair.

Right now he should feel like a million bucks, as the saying goes. The entire ensemble was perfect, nothing created between himself and Raphael could be anything less; he knew this for a fact. But looking in the mirror, Magnus sees all of his emotions manifesting before him. Anxiety contours his face along with the light dusting of bronzer. Sadness shadows his eyes and guilt paints his downturned lips. There is frustration in his hair where several pieces refuse to cooperate and stick out in a less than pleasing way no matter how much product he has used. And his suit is marred with wrinkles of hesitation in the fabric. They refuse to straighten out no matter how much he fidgets with the sleeve cuffs and jacket buttons. 

He sees each of these glaring imperfections, and he fears anyone could look too closely and see them as well. It's partly the reason he has remained mostly in his suite this morning claiming he needed the relaxing solace to look his best. Mostly he knows that his family will take one look at him and know. They will read him like an open book. An open and panic-ridden book. 

“Knock, knock.”

Magnus turns from his place in front of the full-length mirror to see his favorite redhead peeking into the room, waiting for permission to enter. 

“Clary, darling! There you are!”

Taking Magnus’ bright smile as permission to enter, Clary shuffles fully into the room, a halo of rose pink tulle surrounding her, and closes the door once all the fabric is clear of the doorway. Her hair is effortlessly pinned back and her makeup soft and glowing. Magnus whistles his appreciation and twirls his finger prompting her to do a full turn in her newly created gown. “You are a vision, Biscuit.” 

Clary blushes and fiddles with the floral embellishment on her chest. “I design clothing and gowns for a living, but for some reason wearing one of my designs always makes me feel a bit self-conscious. So, you think it looks okay?”

“I would never lie to you about fashion.”

“Well neither would I, so let me just say me just say, WOW.” Clary gapes at Magnus’ ensemble and motions for him to do a turn so she can take in the whole look. “I know we talked about design and color but Raphael really outdid himself. Damn Magnus, I want to marry you right now.” 

A laugh bursts unexpectedly from his mouth. Clary was exactly what he needed, a lovely distraction from his impending mental spiral. Magnus winks at her as he turns for her examination. Maybe he is hiding his inner turmoil better than he thought.

His rotation complete, he faces the mirror again and Clary steps up beside him. Both examining their reflections. Thumb tapping her bottom lip, Clary studies him with the critical eye of a designer, “Hm. But there is one thing I would change.”

Magnus quirks an eyebrow at her, “And what’s that, Biscuit?”

“The look on your face that says you are about to throw up.”

_ Dammit. _

Magnus grimaces, unable to conceal the guilt and shame at her correct assessment. He shrugs, “It’s only a simple case of pre-wedding nerves. Don’t worry about me, dear. I’ll be at that altar on time.”

Still looking at each other in the mirror, Clary encircles his waist in a comforting side embrace, resting her head on his shoulder and squeezing slightly. “You know if you happen to not be at that alter in half an hour, I would support you, right? We all would.”

He doesn’t have to ask who “we” encompasses. He knows that Clary, Luke, Maia would back him if he felt the need to step away. 

Magnus also knows that “we” includes Isabelle, Simon, and Jace as well. He was and still is, a little stunned the Lightwood clan accepted his invitation, which he delivered personally. He knew the situation was awkward for them, but he meant what he said about mending bridges with his past. He wanted to extend that olive branch to them, recognizing them as a part of his family, even now, despite everything. What transpired between him and Alec has not diminished their significance in his life moving forward. Their happy and eager acceptance of his invitation that day had him in tears standing right there in front of them. It made for quite the sappy little scene in _ Lightwood’s _ back office, an office he now knew belonged to Jace and not Alec. 

He feels those same overwhelming feelings of acceptance and love right now in Clary’s hold, and he fears for his makeup should he start crying this early in the day. He hugs her back. There is a sense of safety in their little bubble, he knows he can speak right here, right now and not be judged. So he lets his insecurities take over for a few minutes, needing the reassurance of his best friend. “Me, Dot, this wedding, our future...it's a good thing? We make sense, don’t we?”

“I do not doubt that you love and adore her, Magnus. No one questions that. But only you know how your love for her measures up against...previous relationships. When you say “I do” you are committing your heart and soul to her, completely and forever. So if you are ready for that, then we have a wedding to get to.”

Magnus doesn’t want to point out that he’s already said “I do” before and the forever part of the vows didn’t work out. This one little thought generates an image before him. A quick flash of hazel eyes paired with the giddiest smile, looking at him while a judge proclaims them married. Magnus visibly shakes the memory from his head. Thoughts and verbal mentions of a previous marriage seem like bad luck on your wedding day. And Alec, specifically, is a dangerous topic to allow his mind wander too. He’s kept his word to his ex. No text, no phone calls, not even any shared space between them in since that day at _ Broken Arrow _. 

A clean break. 

A fresh start.

Magnus hugs Clary back and brushes a light kiss to the top of her head, “Let’s go Biscuit, we can’t keep everyone waiting.”

* * *

A string quartet plays softly in the corner of the plantation’s chapel, the gentle patter of rain outside providing a nice accompaniment. Garland of beautiful flowers drapes from the high ceiling and candles flicker in artful arrangements around the intimate space. Maia flits around the room making last-minute adjustments and obsessively checks the list on her ever-present tablet. Magnus mingles among the guests as they enter the venue, greeting old friends, cordially speaking with Dot’s family and doing his best to hold the anxiety at bay. 

For him, everything is happening at an odd distance. Like a wall of glass exists between himself and everything around him. The music a bit muffled in his ears, the floral scents weak to his nose and the grinning faces right in front of him seem yards away. He’s internally frustrated with the detachment, not wanting to forget or miss any details of his wedding. Magnus further questions his mental state when Isabelle, Jace, and Simon hug him in greeting and give good wishes and he has the baffling urge to cry. He chokes back the welling emotions, however, and focuses on pulling air into his lungs in an even, calming rhythm to cope. 

When the 5:30pm mark approaches, Magnus becomes aware of the officiant ushering him to the altar and guests finally taking their places in the wooden pews. The other groomsmen, including Dot’s brothers, situate themselves to Magnus’ left. But it's Luke, standing directly next to him, that senses Magnus’ nerves. He discreetly places his hand on Magnus’ shoulder and squeezes in quiet reassurance.

The quartet transitions seamlessly into Pachelbel’s Canon in D signaling the back doors of the chapel to open. Bridesmaids glide down the aisle in an array of soft pink with bouquets of deep burgundy in hand. The faces of Dot’s friends blur by, but it’s Clary’s playful wink as she moves to the right of the altar that makes Magnus smile. 

The music shifts and all the guests rise from their seats as Dorothea steps into view on the elbow of her father. His stout almost father-in-law wears no smile on his face as he guides his daughter down the aisle. Magnus can’t help but note the ill fit of his black tux. However, with Dot standing next to him, no one else notices. 

The bride beams as she floats down the aisle. Her sleeved satin gown hugs her soft curves and flares in a modest train. The simple elegance of the piece reflects Dot perfectly and Magnus mentally notes to buy Clary an extra special thank you gift for creating this gown so quickly and to perfection. Dot’s hair is pinned back in a sophisticated twist and secured by a jeweled comb. She smiles as she approaches, both excited and bashful. 

Once at the altar, Mr. Rollins kisses Dot on the cheek and shakes Magnus’ hand. Magnus then reaches out and takes Dot’s manicured fingers in his, together they turn to face the officiant. 

The officiant greets the gathered guests and instructs everyone to bow their heads for a blessing. Magnus, never a deeply religious man, bows his head and tries not to concentrate on the weird pit in his stomach or the sweat he feels clinging to the back of his neck. Rather, he concentrates on the feel of Dot’s hand in his and on his own quiet, shallow breathing. He’s pulled from his trance when Dot squeezes his hand to get his attention. The officiant is looking at him expectantly. 

_ Oh right. His vows. _

Magnus turns to face Dot. He opens his mouth to say the words he wrote and rehearsed but finds himself at a momentary loss. Dot smiles at him encouragingly and he returns the gesture with a small nod, _ It’s okay. I’m okay. I got this. _

He’s about to launch into the speech his brain is finally ready to feed to his mouth when there is a clamor at the back of the church. The sound of a door closing, stern voices, and an indignant retort are muffled by the distance but still loud enough to reach the entire crowd. As the guests begin to shift in their seats to find the source of the commotion, Magnus sees a figure step into the doorway at the back of the church.

The last man he ever expected steps into view, wearing a flattering navy suit and trailed by the hired security detail. The poor guard tries to stop the man, but he is easily swatted away. Magnus sucks in a shocked breath as the man confidently strides down the aisle.

Magnus finally breaks the silence, completely confused by their unexpected guest, “Ragnor?!” 

He steps down from the altar and closes the last few yards between himself and his lawyer. He urgently and quietly demands, “What are you doing here?”

“You, Magnus, are a git. How many voicemails does a man have to leave you before you listen to just one? How many emails does a poor lawyer have to send to get your attention?”

Magnus has the courtesy to look a little sheepish before asking, “What is so important that you needed to interrupt my wedding?”

Ragnor replies, words low and punctuated, and lifts his hand to reveal a stack of papers in his hand, “Your divorce from one Mr. Alexander Lightwood.”

“What?! What do you mean? He signed it. I don’t understand, what’s the problem?” In his shock, Magnus speaks loud enough for everyone to hear, causing a low rumble to ripple across the small church.

With a pointed look, Ragnor explains, “Yes. He did sign them. _ You did not _.”

Magnus takes a half a step back as a buzzing fills his ears, whether it's from the growing chatter of their guests or his brain malfunctioning, he’s not sure. His mind dashes back to the morning he woke up to find the signed divorce documents on his bed. While nursing a particularly unpleasant hangover, Magnus remembers wanting to get those papers out of his sight immediately. His first stop of the day had been the Post Office. But he swears he signed them before putting him in the envelope. Surely he did. But he looks down at the proffered papers and sees the signature line under his name, starkly blank. 

Dot’s voice breaks through the increasingly loud buzzing.

“Oh for god’s sake Magnus, I thought you took care of this?!” 

When Magnus turns to face her, mouth still partly open in shock, he finds she has come away from the altar and stands right next to him. “I- it- I swear this was an honest mistake, Dot.”

“Well can we fix it? Right here, right now?” While she speaks calmly, the bride’s entire demeanor radiates tension and a growing fury. 

_ Fuck _ . Magnus thinks. _ Fuck fuck fuck. _

The need to vomit becomes almost too much to ignore but instead, he manages to call out, “Does anyone have a pen?”

The crowd shuffles as people begin to pat their pockets and check their bags. Magnus feels a growing sense of panic as he looks around the room, waiting for some sort of writing utensil to be procured. He can’t bring himself to look at Dot. 

In the end, it is Isabelle Lightwood who steps forward with a pen in hand, murmuring, “Here you go, Magnus.” 

He’s back to feeling like he’s behind glass again as he watches his hand reach to take the pen from his former sister-in-law. His vision tunnels down to the small, insignificant item that’s going to fix this and put his wedding back on track. This cheap tube of black ink that will draw out his name in elegant script and finalize his last and only connection to Alec Lightwood. 

A large presence steps in close to Magnus and a warm baritone voice murmurs in his ear, “Things like this just don’t happen, kiddo.” Feeling like he’s about to plunge into a full-blown panic attack, Magnus stares at Luke wide-eyed and terrified.

It’s silly really. Magnus spent the last few weeks believing himself divorced from Alec; so why was doing so again setting off every internal alarm in his body? Why did putting pen to paper feel like putting a knife in his gut - an action he fears he will regret and suffer from for the rest of his life. Magnus stands holding the pen, trying to reconcile logic to the emotions arresting his body.

Another deep voice, growls out behind him, “Fucking sign the document, Garroway.” 

To his paralyzed senses, Magnus feels like he turns in slow motion to see Mr. Rollins clenching his fists and growing red in the face. Moving slowly, he settles on Dot, who is watching him wary and alarmed. His family comes into focus next. Luke gives him a private encouraging smile; Clary and Maia stand together looking close to tears on his behalf, and the Lightwoods stand further back observing the whole scene. Nothing but compassion in their eyes.

He finally comes back to Ragnor still holding out the divorce documents. Magnus lifts the pen and sets it on the line. 

He can do this. 

He can write his name down and divorce the first love of his life. He can divorce the boy who was his first best friend. He can divorce the awkward teenager that asked him out for the first time, stuttering and tripping over his words the entire time. He can divorce the star football player who kissed him in front of the entire stadium after every game - without fail. Magnus can divorce the man who was always his rock until life pressed against that man so hard he broke - the man who let Magnus down but only because he was unable to hold even himself up. 

Magnus can divorce Alec, who he gave his heart to all those years ago. 

A heart Magnus never got back.

_ Fuck _. 

_ He can’t do this. _

“I-I can’t do this,” Magnus whispers to himself finally acknowledging a fact he has been blissfully ignoring for so long. 

He jerks the pen back from the paper and looks to Dot standing before him in her one-of-a-kind wedding gown, “Dot, darling, you don’t want to marry me.”

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t. Because. Well...because I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart. It was scarred and fragile, but I gave it to someone who saw worth in it anyway. A man who cherished every imperfection and did his best to hold all the fragmented pieces together. I’ve been walking around without my heart for so many years, I learned to ignore its absence. I became accustomed to the hole in my chest. But I can’t ignore the missing part of me any longer. And you can’t marry an incomplete man. You deserve a man who still has a heart to give you. So, I’m sorry...but I can’t marry you.”

Dot’s lip quivers and tears begin to track down her face. She chokes back a sob, but to Magnus’s continued shock, she nods. 

“You have got to be kidding me! You’re just going to let him humiliate you - us - over this bullshit about an old husband?!” Mr. Rollins strides up to Magnus and Dot, practically frothing at the mouth.

Magnus looks to Dot in worry. However, Dot is already stepping up to confront her father, “Yes, Daddy. I am.”

Nostrils flaring, the large man turns to Magnus, “You! You lying, deceitful son of a bitch! How dare you.”

Magnus draws himself up to his full height, refusing to be intimidated by the man. The matter is between him and Dot, not this bigotted politician bloated by self-importance. Voice steady and firm, Magnus explains, “I’m only doing what I think is right.”

“I will not allow my daughter to be shoved to the side by a _ man like you _ all because of some _ backwoods redneck _.”

In cold fury, Magnus is about to launch himself forward but is blocked by Luke and Maia who step between them. 

Luke puts a hand to Magnus’ chest to keep him in check while Maia glares at Dot’s father. 

In an icy, yet professional voice, Maia instructs, “I think you should leave now, Mr. Rollins. Magnus has said his piece. Ms, Rollins has accepted. We all need to respect that and move forward with some tact.”

Sneering, Mr. Rollins looks down on Maia, “Young lady, why don’t you just go back to whatever trailer you came from and bake something.”

The insult barely registers in the ears of the other guests before Magnus’ fist is connecting with the older man’s face.

Mr. Rollins stumbles back, a hand immediately clutching his nose. Magnus points at him menacingly, “Don’t you ever talk to my family like that.”

Unwilling to give this despicable human another minute of his time, Magnus whirls on his heels to his family. Bodies suddenly encompass him from all sides. In the cocoon of his family’s arms, Magnus gives himself a moment to let tears loose, accompanied by light, relieved laughter. When he emerges for their reassuring and smothering presence minutes later, Dot, her family, and her friends have departed the chapel. 

“I can’t believe that just happened. Oh my gosh, Magnus! This is the most exciting wedding I’ve ever had the privilege of attending,” Clary declares bouncing on her feet a bit.

Magnus laughs but it’s the Lightwoods he seeks out, “I need to talk to him.” 

The blinding grins he receives only rival his own. 

* * *

Magnus pushes the sports car down the highway, praying to any deity who will listen to keep law enforcement off his back. He doesn't know where he’s going, relying on the GPS and the address Isabelle hastily punched into his phone before he ran out of the chapel. 

He spares a glance at the incomplete divorce papers sitting in the passenger seat, mocking him. A crisp, white symbol of all of his poor life decisions. Terrible decisions he hopes are not too late to mend.

The drive from the plantation to Alec’s new home is thirty minutes. 

Magnus makes it in eighteen. 

Half hid on a random Alabama country road, the paved driveway winds back through the trees, somewhat reminiscent of the old cabin. And just when he thinks maybe the GPS has led him astray, Magnus spots the house.

The sprawling cabin is nothing like their old one. The size alone sets it apart but Magnus notices skylights, multiple chimneys indicating several fireplaces and the double glass door entryway. Magnus sees the glint of water through the trees beyond the house. In the fading light, a warm glow emits from the interior. With the low hum of nature’s soundtrack in the background, the home before him feels warm and inviting. He can’t imagine anyone would feel anything but content here. He is about to follow the stone path up to the wide covered porch and knock when he hears the sound of a saw. He then notices lights coming from a large barn sitting off to the side. 

The nausea is back as Magnus straightens his suit and walks in that direction.

* * *

Alec hears the hum of a motor and can’t imagine who would be here right now. Everyone he knows is at Garroway Plantation dancing, drinking and celebrating the marriage of their friend. Picturing his siblings partying with his ex, his new wife, laughing and having a good time, digs at Alec’s chest just a bit. He did not need to see the spectacle in person, the imagined one inside his head was painful enough. A frown fixes itself on Alec’s face as he makes one final cut with his saw before he greets the possible trespasser. Figuring it is someone trying to sell him junk, Alec turns in a huff ready to dismiss the newcomer when instead he’s met with the vision of Magnus standing in the open door.

Alec’s first thought is that the man before him is so devastatingly handsome it pains Alec to look at him. 

Alec immediately reacts by pulling himself up to full height and crosses his toned arms over his chest. None of the hurt from the moment before is apparent. His tone borders on scathing annoyance, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be cutting a cake or something right about now?” The remark is rude but Alec is still struggling to process the man’s presence. He’s so out of place in Alec’s barn. Carpentry tools laying on his on metal workbenches, lumber is stacked around the space and sawdust drifts through the air. Alec momentarily worries about Magnus’ gorgeous suit and expensive shoes, fearing they will be ruined if he stands here too long. Resisting the urge to look down at his ripped jeans and faded black t-shirt, Alec can’t help but note the contrast between himself and his ex. Alec has never felt more self-conscientious than he does at this moment. Why did Magnus have to invade his home looking like he just stepped out of a fashion catalog while Alec looks like he just rolled around on the workshop floor. Does the universe take pleasure in tormenting him? Because Alec has no doubt the memory of Magnus in this suit will haunt him for weeks to come. _ Why is he even here? _

Magnus mirrors his stance, face taunt, serious. “There has been an unforeseen development.” 

Alec’s interests perks internally but he gives Magnus an impatient look, eyebrow quirked. 

“Apparently, you and I are still married.” 

“What?” Alec hisses out. How is that even possible? And why does Magnus look at him like it's his fault? Alec’s jaw is tense as he bites out, “Are you here to yell at me for that too? Because I signed those damn papers, Magnus.” 

“I know you did,” Magnus retorts back. Then he drops his arms, all the fight in his body abandoning him. “But apparently…” Magnus clears his throat, “I did not.”

_ Wait. _

_ WHAT. _

Alec throws his hands up, annoyance and exasperation taking control. He does not have time for this, “What do you mean you didn’t sign them? How do you forget to sign your own divorce papers, Magnus?”

“I don’t know! Okay! I don’t know!” Magnus explodes, gesturing widely. There’s this desperate and wild look in his eyes. “I saw your signature on them that morning and it made me sick. I wanted them out of my sight as soon as possible. So I shoved them in an envelope and sent them to my lawyer first thing.”

Alec shakes his head and rubs at his temples. The last thing he needs is a headache before he catches his flight in the morning. “Okay. Well, do you have a copy with you? We can both sign them right now. Then you’ll know for sure it’s a done deal. I’m sure your minister will proceed with the wedding if he sees them complete?”

After all these years, Alec should really stop trying to predict what Magnus will do. Because instead of pulling the documents out of his tux or running to the car to grab them. Magnus blurts out, “Who is Bat to you?”

Alec bristles, “Excuse me? What does Bat have to do with anything?”

“Are you seeing him? Is he your boyfriend?” Magnus tucks his hands into his elbows, curling on himself in uncertainty and wariness.

Alec chokes and starts coughing. “What?! No! Why would you think that? He’s my _ employee _ ! He’s a master carpenter, like me. _ Broken Arrow _ is growing and I needed someone to help me keep up while we expand. He and I are not dating. I’m not dating anyone right now. Not that it's any of your business.”

Alec swears he hears a rushed out sigh of _ Oh thank god _ from Magnus as he watches the man watching him. Alec feels the weight of Magnus’ analyzing gaze as he takes Alec’s appearance. His shoes, his hands, his hair, his eyes. Magnus studies him and worries at his bottom lip. His eyes look impossibly soft. But fear shines from them. “Can I ask you another question?”

Alec sighs. He doesn’t understand what is happening and the situation makes him feel drained and tired. “Sure, why not?”

“Are you still in love with me?”

_ Yes _. His knee jerk response almost spills from his mouth. Again he curses the infuriating man for always catching him off guard. But the situation isn’t as simple as that little three-letter word. Instead, he reflects with a question of his own, “Magnus, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be getting married. You shouldn’t even be here.”

“I know. I know. But- when you stormed away that day you brought Dot to me. You told her, ‘You and I are in love with two very different people.’ Was that true? Do you still love me?”

“What do you want from me? What do you want me to say.” Alec’s voice breaks helplessly. 

“The truth. I want your honesty. More than anything. that’s what I need from you. You’ve always been honest with me. You’ve never shied away from telling me what I needed to hear, even when I didn’t want to hear it. You’ve called me out on my bullshit so many times. You set me straight, always. So please, don’t stop being brutally honest with me now.”

“I-” Alec begins but he is at a loss on how to respond.

Noticing Alec’s floundering, Magnus’ throat bobs and he looks down at his feet and back up. Alec is intimately familiar with the look of insecurity currently plastered over Magnus’ face. Magnus was always good at playing confident, brash and bold. But Alec had never allowed him to use that fake facade on him. He’d coax and gently push until Magnus broke and unleashed his true self. Alec hated those times when insecurities weighed his boyfriend down. No matter how hard he tried, he could never figure out how to completely relieve the burden. But it doesn’t mean he didn’t try his damnedest every time. Even now, the urge to grab him and tempt a smile onto his face is hard to resist. 

Before Alec can do something stupid, Magnus speaks up. “Okay, maybe that’s not fair. I should not demand so much from you without first giving you something of myself.” He clears his throat. “A little over an hour ago, my lawyer barged into my wedding to tell me I was still married. I was surrounded by important politicians, a few minor celebrities, Dorothea’s entire family and most of Pigeon Creek. I felt a lot of things at that moment. Panic. Anger. Annoyance. Humiliation. All of those. But you want to know what I felt most?”

Alec gives a little shake of his head. No, he doesn’t.

“_Relief _. I was relieved, Alec” There is a touch of anguish in his confession. Magnus takes several tentative steps forward but remains just out of Alec’s personal space. 

Alec’s pulse goes up a notch, “Why?”

“Because it felt like the universe was confirming what I knew but was fervently ignoring.”

Alec makes himself breathe, afraid that if he doesn’t instruct his lungs to contract, they might not function on their own accord. “I’m sorry Magnus, but what are you saying? What-” he lets the sentence drop, feeling out of depth in this conversation, afraid to make any assumptions as to what Magnus is trying to insinuate.

Magnus takes two more steps toward Alec closing the distance so they stand toe-to-toe. This close Alec can see the reddened spot on Magnus’ lower lip where he has worried at it with his teeth; a smudged of gold and black eyeliner which trails toward his temple; and the creased, pained tension around his eyes. _ God, he’s gorgeous. _ Alec won’t ever be able to deny this about his ex. No matter where they stand, Alec will never possess the ability to refute his attraction to the man. Because in this proximity, Alec also sees the flecks of gold in Magnus' brown eyes, the subtle pout of his lips; the bob of his throat and adam’s apple. All of it leaves, Alec’s mouth dry.

Magnus looks down at their shoes. “You never gave it back,” he says in a hushed tone.

Alec dips his head to catch Magnus’ downturned face. When Magnus finally meets his eyes, Alec gives his head a little shake trying to convey his continued confusion. 

Magnus exhales a heavily and Alec feels the warmth of it brush across his skin. They remain standing entirely too close but not touching when Magnus confesses, “My heart Alexander. I gave you my heart back when we were sixteen, starry-eyed and planning to spend our entire lives together. And you never gave it back to me.”

Oh.

“To be fair, I never really wanted it back. And maybe that’s why I’ve been so messed up and misguided all these years, because the best part of me was still here with you, Alexander.”

Alec blinks at him, stunned into silence. 

The furrow of Magnus’ brow deepens and his lips dip into a frown, “Please say something. Anything. You can tell me to go to hell. But just say _ something _.”

* * *

Magnus watches Alec, waiting in agony for the man to formulate some sort of response to his confession. As the silence stretches Magnus can’t help but think this is it. This is the end. Alec is going to tell him off, rightfully so, and send him away.

Alec’s voice breaks the weighted silence, barely registering above a whisper, “Say it again.”

Magnus starts again, “I know I’ve messed up, but-”

“No,” Alec interrupts, “The part where you said my name.”

“Alexander.” The name seared into his soul, the name he hasn’t been able to use in far too long.

A tearful laugh bursts out of Alec, “God, I’ve missed that.” He sniffs, “No one else has been allowed to call me that these last ten years. In any other voice, that name sounds punctuated and harsh, only you made it sound like music. And…and I’ve missed hearing it.”

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Magnus takes Alec’s hands in his, murmuring, “Alexander, I miss you. I miss us. I haven’t stopped loving you. And I know that may mean nothing to you after all of these years and after all of the shit, I put us through. But I do. I love you so goddamn much, Alexander. And I know our life would be complicated and we can’t just jump into anything, like there are no demons in our past. I have so much to atone for, but I love you, Alexander.” Magnus is actively crying but he sees light reflect on the wet tracks down Alec’s face as well. “I- I don’t want to sign those divorce papers. I don’t think I can bear it. Not again. I want to fight for you and for us. But it’s not just my decision to make. It’s ours. If you have no interest or desire in this, in us. Then I will leave here and you won’t have to see me again. And I will find a way to live with that. Whatever makes you happy, Alexander. Because that’s all I want, to make you happy.”

He sees Alec drop his gaze down at their linked fingers. While the man studies their hands, Magnus wonders what he is thinking. He watches Alec. And Alec watches Magnus caress his calloused skin. Their hands stand in stark contrast. One set perfectly polished, mostly soft and adorned with rings. The other scarred, rough and bare. Alexander must see it too and Magnus loathes the look forming on his face. Uncertainty lines Alec’s entire expression. And Magnus has the sudden urge to kiss away the self-doubt pulling down on the corners of Alexander’s lips.

He’s not surprised when the man questions him, “Why would you want to be married to me?”

For Magnus, the answer is simple. “Isn’t it obvious, Alexander?” 

He lets go of one of Alexander’s hands and lifts Alec’s face by his chin to look at Magnus directly. He notes a hitch in Alexander’s breath and discovers emotions swirling in the deep rich brown, green and gold of his hazel eyes. He can only assume Alec sees the same in his own brown ones. “So, I can kiss you anytime I want.”

Magnus moves to brush the pad of his thumb across Alec’s bottom lip, touching it gently. There is a question in his caress. Magnus knows with absolute certainty what he wants. He feels slightly on edge like he’s about to take a plunge for better or worse. He can only hope this particular fall is back into the life of the man he loves.

He is about to blatantly ask Alec for what he wants when the man suddenly dips down and catches Magnus in a rapturous kiss. It’s heated and cut with desperation, fueled by the need to make up for all the years they have missed out on this. Kissing Alec doesn’t bring butterflies to Magnus stomach or a smile to his face. No, kissing Alec brings tears to his eyes and pang to his chest. Because having a piece of your heart shoved back into place does not come without pain. But Magnus revels in the completeness. His hands hold Alec’s neck, intent on keeping Alec’s lips on his own. With a similar goal in mind, Alec’s hands find the lapels of Magnus’ suit and hauls their bodies flush against one another. Toes, hips, and chests align. The contact causes both men to groan, sinking a little more into each other. All of Magnus’ senses narrow to the point of contact where Alec’s lush mouth moves against his own. Magnus feels weak not only with overwhelming desire but affection, admiration, and devotion for the man pressed against him. 

His missing piece. 

Magnus pulls back, leaving both men panting for lost oxygen. Magnus lowers Alec’s forehead to his. He bites gently at Alec’s bottom lip, kisses the corner of his mouth and draws his thumbs along the man’s jaw. Each touch is a promise. A promise to do better, promise to grow back together, a promise to stay. Magnus wraps himself around Alec’s neck while Alec encircles his waist hugging him tightly. Magnus nestles into the crook of Alec’s neck taking in the scent of him: fresh, citrusy and vaguely woody because of the material he’s been working with. Magnus thinks if he could infuse this fragrance into a candle, he’d become a firm believer in aromatherapy. Because right now he feels more settled and content than he’s felt in a long time. Like he’s finally taking in fresh air for the first time in ten years. 

For several minutes, they stand together quietly basking in each other’s presence. 

“What do we do now?” Alec’s timid question echoes through the intimate silence. 

Magnus reluctantly withdraws his head back from Alec’s shoulder but keeps up his light strokes of the taller man’s cheek. “I don’t know.”

Alec huffs out, frustrated, “I’m leaving in the morning.” At Magnus’ alarmed expression he explains, “On a business trip to Los Angeles. I’ll be gone for two weeks, but when I get back we can- uh well...shit...I guess you’ll be back in New York by then.”

Magnus sags and witnesses the joy drain from Alec’s hazel gaze as he comprehends their predicament. Magnus refuses to allow those bewitching eyes to become any more sorrowfully dull. He steps back and pats down his suit searching pockets for his phone. He pulls it from his breast pocket and begins tapping away on the screen.

“Magnus, what are you doing?”

“Arranging a flight, darling.” Magnus doesn’t look up, intent on his task.

“Where?” Alec asks, unable to hide his cautious curiosity.

Magnus lifts his focus to Alec, “Los Angeles, Alexander. Where else?” 

He’s rewarded with his favorite lopsided grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Magnus grins back, leaning back into Alec’s radiating body heat. “We have a lot to discuss, to work through. I know you’ll have work to do and I promise not to get in the way, but maybe we can steal some time together? If that’s what you want? If _ this _ is what you want.”

“Magnus,I’ve spent the last ten years going through all the outrageous scenarios that might prompt the universe to bring us back together.” Alec smiles wickedly, “Though, I’ll admit none of those included you being engaged, telling me off in a bar and later becoming a runaway groom. But who am I to question the workings of the universe.” He studies Magnus fondly, “You were always the center of my universe, Magnus. And I know we sound like ridiculous love-sick cliches right now, but I don’t care. You’re the single spark of light in an endless dark that I will always seek out. And I will bask in your warmth for as long as you allow me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus lets out a tearful laugh, “God, Alexander. How do you do that? Do you always spout poetry like this?”

Alec’s crooked grin is back, “Only for exceptionally beautiful men.”

“Careful, darling. I’m a married man. My husband may not appreciate your advances.” Magnus teases.

Alec’s laugh rings out. Still smiling, he tilts his head as if considering something, “I know our wedding was nothing like you were going to have today. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you that. We didn’t even have a cake or a first dance.” Alec looks guilty and faintly woeful.

“I hear there is an excellent party going on at the Garroway Plantation right now. Maia throws only the best, you know. How about we go have that first dance?” Magnus doesn’t bother to mask the eagerness in his voice.

Once again Alec forgoes answering and lets his lips do the talking.

* * *

An hour later, Magnus in his burgundy designer suit and Alec in his favored navy suit, walk hands clasped together into the party. The boisterous cheering of their family and friends match in volume the brilliance of their smiles when they finally take the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love. Thank you lovelies once again! xoxo  
Toying with an idea for a small epilogue. But we shall see....


End file.
